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“I would never wish for you to get your heart broken, but I am glad that it led you home.” She pats my leg and gives it a little squeeze, which I find comforting.
I don’t know why I ever thought I could hide anything from Grandma Jo. My road trip with Erin was unexpected because I didn’t want to ask them for help after Danny got us evicted from our apartment. I had nowhere else to go but home.
Maybe she suspected when I suddenly decided to move back, or the look of heartbreak on my face when I first arrived. She and Grandpa John would have never approved of me moving in with my boyfriend, let alone me having a boyfriend who was a musician. I led them to believe I had moved in with my girlfriends. None of that matters though.
“I’m glad to be home,” I tell her, and I mean it.
I never fantasized about traveling all over the world because I had everything I wanted in Pacific Palisades. It’s a place where the mountains meet the ocean, just minutes from the wild and gritty sunset strip, and full of heart that I don’t think I would find anywhere else. The whole time I was in Austin I thought about home, and Danny was a good distraction from being homesick.
“I hear you have a job for the summer,” she says, changing the subject.
Conversation closed, because neither one of us will get what we want out of this discussion. She’s said her piece. I know she doesn’t like me hanging out with musicians, but even though I am my mother’s daughter, it doesn’t mean I will fall to the same fate.
“Yes. It’s at a record store in Santa Monica.”
“Is this where you got the records from?” She leans down and grabs theCrosby, Stills, and Nashalbum, inspecting the cover.
“Yes. My new boss let me have them.”Boss. The word fills my belly with the force of the churning ocean.
“You always were an old soul.” She smiles and sets the album on top of the stack. This time when she smiles, it reaches her eyes. She reaches over and drops the needle. Her eyes light up when the song begins. “I haven’t heard this song in a long time.”
“You know them?” I ask curiously, because all I’ve ever heard my grandparents play is country.
“Well, I wasn’t always a country girl. I had a whole life before I met your grandpa.” Her answer gives nothing away.
“So you were a rebel too?” I tease.
She makes the motion of zipping her lips and throwing away the key.
“How does it feel to be married for almost fifty years?” I ask her. Their wedding anniversary is coming up next month, and I know they would never do anything for themselves.
She looks up at the ceiling as if she will find the answer there. “It’s not the destination that matters, it’s everything in between.”
I tip my head to the side, trying to figure her out. She likes to speak in riddles.
She smiles at me. “Fifty years isn’t the destination, it’s just part of the journey; and being with your grandpa has been the greatest journey of my life.”
“How about a party?” I ask, but I sense her hesitation. “I can do everything. I’ll invite some of your friends, set up a dance floor on the patio; we’ll have music and food. It’ll be wonderful.” I start to get excited, already planning the party in my head.
“I don’t want you to go to all that trouble. You know your grandpa doesn’t like all that fancy stuff.” She uses grandpa as the excuse, but I suspect this is something she would really enjoy. Grandpa John is a simple man, and he never makes a big deal about any holiday except for my birthday. I felt like the most important person in the world because he always made an effort to make it special, like my being born was the greatest day of his life. I want to do something nice for him, for both of them.
“I promise, nothing fancy,” I reassure her.
Fifty years is a long time to be with one person. I’ve watched them my whole life; nothing is ever easy because if it was, it would mean as much. Maybe that’s why I’m a romantic. I wantthe life, the kind where you love and laugh just as much as you fight and make up. I want midnight kisses that never end and to dance in the kitchen. It exists, I know it does. I just wish I could find it.
She smiles and squeezes my hand back. “Maybe we’ll get some use out of all those albums you got there.” She looks down at the stack. It’s not practical to have an old record player outside during the party so I’ll probably download all of their favorites onto my phone so I can play DJ.
“What are you up to today?” she asks.
I look at the clock. “I still have a few hours before I have to be at work, so I think I’ll go surfing.”
6
COYOTE UGLY
CASH
She’s Got the Look by Candlelight Red
