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He lets his forehead rest against mine.
“You make me feel things I know I shouldn’t,” he admits.
30
CURVEBALLS
SASHA
(Don’t Fear) The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult
An email pops up in my notifications and it’s fromAlt Press. My stomach flips nervously as I open the email.
Thank you so much for applying for the fall internship with Alternative Press. We have reviewed your application and recommendation letters, and are pleased to inform you that you are one of the finalists. We would like you to come in for an interview…
I continue reading through the rest of the email, notating the day and time in my calendar and close my laptop. Summer is going by fast, and fall is just around the corner. I bite my lip and flip over on my back, thinking about my capstone class, graduating, and it’s overwhelming. I’d waited so long for this and it’s almost here, so why I am not as excited as I should be?
The smell of bacon cooking and coffee brewing makes my stomach grumble and I pad into the kitchen, my bare feet cold on the tile. Grandma Jo stands in front of the stove, turning over the sizzling bacon in a pan. She turns to smile at me while I grab a piece of toast off the plate in the center of the island.
“Can you go get your grandpa and tell him breakfast is ready?” she asks me, and I nod.
Slipping on my boots at the back door, I walk outside and notice the barn door open. Ivan is in the pasture with Maverick, their tails swishing.
Grandpa John appears from the shed and I meet him halfway. He pulls the cap off his head and runs his hands through his grey hair.
“Breakfast is ready,” I tell him.
He grunts his acknowledgment and my eyes travel to Ivan who lifts his head from the grass to look at me. I haven’t spent as much time with him as I’ve wanted to since I came home. Between working at the record store, getting in some photography, and spending time with Cash outside of work, it’s left little time to really enjoy being home.
“How is the new horse doing?” I ask him.
“A little skittish, but I’ll be able to find a good home for him soon.”
That’s what Grandpa John does best. He takes the horses in, trains them, and is able to re-home them. Sometimes it’s hard to let them go when I get attached to them, but this time I’ve barely been able to help work with him.
“Your friend, Gabriel, did such a good job with all the dead brush, I recommended him to a couple of neighbors.”
I sigh knowing that Gabriel didn’t want to be the one to take over his Dad’s landscaping company. It’s a double-edged sword, having the work but feeling the family obligation that goes with it. I know all about family obligation, not that my grandparents have ever made me feel that way. It’s just this place and this work is something I also feel passionate about.
“That’s great,” I say, distracted.
“What’s going on in there?” Grandpa John taps my head gently, making me laugh.
He walks over to the fence and I follow.
“I have an interview next week.”
I prop my boot on the lower rung of the fence, letting my forearms take my weight as I lean into the wood, feeling the soft breeze and the salty smell that’s carried with it.
“For that magazine you were telling me about?” he asks, staring into the pasture.
“Yes.”
“You don’t sound excited about it,” he mentions.
“I am, it’s just…” I contemplate my answer. “Things have changed,” I admit. “I feel torn.” It’s not just this place, but the horses, my family - Cash. “I don’t know if that’s what I’m meant to do anymore.”
Grandpa John assesses me, and I feel the weight of his eyes. “Don’t let me or your grandma hold you back from doing what you love.”
