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He shakes his head and the expression in his eyes has more pain than I have ever seen in them. “I let her go.” His voice cracks. “We hadn’t talked in years before she died, and I have a lot of regrets.”
“That was how Jack and I finally started to repair our friendship.” He holds our joined hands up between us and then turns his eyes to me. “Grief has a way of bringing people together, even under the most impossible circumstances.”
It makes me think of my mom and the grief our family has endured. Cash unlinks our fingers and places his arm over his forehead, temporarily closing his eyes.
“A lot of things are out of our control.” I touch his face, trying to offer comfort, and he leans into my palm. I feel like the one person that is able to hold him up. “Everything happens for a reason,” I say, “to get you to the place you were meant to be.”
“I think fate likes to fuck with me, and I’m tired of being the brunt of the joke,” he sniffs, looking at me with a jaded smile.
“This is my baggage, Sasha, because she will always be the reason I don’t trust myself.”
This is his wall, the one that he doesn’t let down very often, and it’s because of her.
“For once, I just want to fall for the right person.” He shifts to his side, leaning over me.
I swallow the lump in my throat.
His eyes lift to meet mine. “You breathed life into me, gave me something I had been missing for a long time,” he says, stealing my breath. “But you also hold the power to take it all away, and it scares the shit out of me.”
I hook my leg over his hip and shift my body on top of his, my hair falling around his face, and I kiss him for all I’m worth. “Don’t let fear rule your life, because if you never leap, then you can never fall,” I push the hair from his forehead. “I’m asking you to choose me, to love me, and when you fall, just know that I am falling with you.” I feel it deep in my bones that this man has my heart.
My lips meet his, parting them, feeling the roughness of his stubble against my chin. I run my hands through his hair, laying my body on top of his. He pushes me up so I’m sitting in his lap, his hand slipping under my shirt and pulling it over my head.
I lean back to search his eyes before kissing him again. My nipples press against his chest, and I move against him. I want him again and again, wondering when I will ever get enough, but it never happens. The ember never extinguishes, it just burns brighter. When he reaches over to grab a condom from his drawer, I’m already burning up.
I slide onto him, taking control, and I feel like he will be the end of me, until there’s nothing left.
“God, Sasha,” he moans my name with a breathy timbre.
Moving against him, I angle my hips to take him deep. The faster I grind the more he moans, causing me to lose control. It doesn’t take long before I’m chasing the orgasm that starts at my core and spreads wide, taking me fast. I can feel his cock jerk inside me as he grips my hair, holding my body in place.
I open my eyes to see him staring back at me. Running my hands through his hair, I say, “You should let me cut your hair.”
“You can do whatever you want to me,” he says with a sleepy tone. “If I end up with a bald spot, I can just wear a hat.” His body shakes with laughter.
“Hey, I cut my grandpa’s hair,” I remind him.
“And he wears a hat all the time. Just saying.” He shrugs and I laugh.
“But don’t you think we should get out of this place first?” he asks, and I look at the clock by his bed, realizing it’s already early evening.
“No,” I say, even though I am hungry and in need of a shower. “Besides, I don’t have any underwear,” I look at him sheepishly.
Cash raises his eyebrow. “I don’t see the problem.”
I roll my eyes at him.
“How do you feel about tacos?” Cash asks.
“As long as they don’t have a ‘no underwear, no service policy’, I’m game.”
36
THE CHAIN
CASH
The Chain by Fleetwood Mac
