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“When will it be?” I ask, sounding desperate.

“When I'm inside you.” His teeth graze along my chin and I release a stuttered breath.

Neither of us speak while he washes the rest of my body. I'm still trying to remember how to form words. Our heavy breathing, the spray of the shower and the way it splatters against the floor, are the only sounds filling the room. Shoving his hand between my legs, he rubs over my balls before cleaning between my ass cheeks, his fingers giving more attention to my hole more than anything else.

My cock aches and my hole clenches with need. He hasn't hurt me enough. My body still calls for him and wants no one else. I need him to do more to stop me from wanting to burn the world down in order to have this again.

After he's done making sure we are both clean, he shuts off the water and opens the shower door to grab two towels. Bending low to the ground, I retrieve the knife and hand it to him. “You haven't shown me everything like you agreed to.”

His jaw tightens and he grinds his teeth. “I've given you enough. Anymore and you could hate me.” I've never seen fear swim in his eyes until now. Not even while he was on the brink of death.

“Good,” I say, my chest aching. “Let me.”

Shoving a towel into my chest, his bottom lip quivers and with unsteady words he says, “Okay,pequeño. Get dry and go lie on the bed for me.”

Without saying a word, I oblige and rush past him. My steps are careful on the tile and I pick up speed again when I reach the carpet. Wiping away as much wetness I can with the rough, over washed hotel towel, I lie on the bed. My body comes in contact with the mattress hard when I throw myself back and I stare up at the ceiling, my heart pounding in anticipation.

I fold the fingers of my left hand over my right arm, above my incision, and I wish I hadn’t taken my bracelets off on the plane earlier. My father didn't want me wearing them because he says I fidget too much with them and it's a distraction. Not any more than his best friend is. The hotel floor creaks beneath heavy footsteps and something soft drops to the carpet. I continue to stare at the ceiling and I freeze where I am, patiently waiting for him to give me his next order.

“Roll over, to your stomach.”

I hate how much I'm ready to jump for him the moment he commands me. Flipping around slowly, I crawl closer to the pillows and shove one under my hips before settling my face on the cool starch-smelling fabric.

“Good boy. You're very compliant when you want to be. It's because you want something, isn't it?”

“Si,” I whisper, brushing my face over the pillow.

“Spread your legs for me and soon you'll get exactly what you ask for.”

I open my thighs more and the bed dips behind me. Warm fingers slide up my legs as Fernando fits his body between mine. “You're doing perfect. Your Padrino loves it when you listen. I enjoy when you moan too but tonight, I also look forward to your screams.”

I feel as if all the air is being ripped from my lungs and my heart is jumping so fast, I can hear it beating in my ears.

Pressure from the cool blade on my lower back has me immobilized. The fear of getting cut mixes with the endorphins rising inside me. My body doesn't know if it wants to be pricked or not. It's trapped between two places, reaching for one more than the other. The wrong fucking one.

Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I curl my fingers around the sheets and arch my back, feeling the sharp edge dig into my spine. Spreading my cheeks apart with his fingers, he spits inside me and my teeth clench. The skin of my lower thigh stings when the knife slices my skin. He makes an identical cut on the other side and I shudder. My insides are both screaming and riveted. I want to cry in both pleasure and pain but swallow it all down instead.

His fingers rub over my wounds and then slide between my cheeks to circle my hole. The tingling pain only increases the more the cool air of the room surrounds the cuts. Spreading his body over mine, the heat has my body shivering less. A finger presses inside me. “How are you,pequeño?”

“Green.”

“Bueno.” The knife breaks apart my skin on a fleshy area on my back and I press myself tighter to the mattress, warmth scattering in the center of my stomach. The wetness of my blood dripping from the small, smooth cut is warm. He gathers it with his fingers, squeezing around the cut to bring more blood to the surface before lathering it over my hole again. “I need you wetter down here,” he says. “I'm going to have you help me with that.”

His knife pierces my upper arm and my teeth clamp down on the pillowcase, my tears rushing forward without warning. It stings like before but it also leaves behind an intoxication no drug could ever provide.

More blood coats my tight pucker, along with added saliva, and I open more for him when he pushes inside me again. My walls slowly spread around his intrusion and I didn't know someone could feel this good before coming. My body is vibrating and floating high as I lie beneath him, feeling pain, pleasure, and him all at once.

“I want to let you know, I get tested regularly and am negative for everything. I'm always very careful and haven't fucked anyone I've played with in a long time.”

“I know,” I say. I've followed you nearly everywhere. As much as my free time allows.

He chuckles softly. “Of course you do. Or you wouldn't have smeared my blood with yours.”

“I trust you.”Too much.

“You shouldn't.” His finger goes deeper and he adds in another to stretch me wider. His digits break apart inside me, twisting and turning a few times before hitting my sweet spot. My toes flex and dig into the bed.

“Ohh,” I moan and hump between him and the mattress, my cock rubbing over the pillow. I fuck against it while searching out his fingers and he pulls away as I'm about to lose all control.

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