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“I owe you my life. I owe you—” I stop, unable to say it.
“Hey.” He pulls me tight. “You owe me nothing, sweetheart.”
I pull away, uncomfortable with his friendly embrace. “Look, Henderson may be dead, but if the Russians start asking questions, they may discover our connection. You have to be careful.”
“You came to warn me,” he says with disbelief.
“You’re my friend.” Perhaps the only one I’ll ever have.
He shakes his head. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”
“I didn’t do anything you haven’t done for me first.”
“It’s not the same.”
I grab his wrist to check the time on his watch. “I have to get back inside. Hanna will be up for dinner soon.”
“Wait. What are your plans now?”
“To lie low.” If I were going to come clean about Yan, this would be my chance, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
“Tell me where you’re going. Don’t make me worry.”
“It’s better like this.” I stand. “I’m going off the radar for a while. So should you.”
“Let me help you. I got you into this.”
“I’ll be fine. Just take care of yourself.”
He gets to his feet. “Why does this sound like a goodbye?”
I try to make light of it. “Because it is?”
His expression remains serious. “You know what I mean. Talk to me. What’s going on?”
“Nothing. If I’m not back within the next five minutes, Hanna is going to send out a search party of nurses.”
I turn, but he grabs my elbow.
“I’ll walk you back.”
I glance toward the security cameras fixed around the building. “It’s too dangerous.”
“No one will recognize me.”
He’s right. I let it be, soaking up the last few moments with the person who taught me everything I know about disguises, weapons, and how to use the skills I’ve acquired in the military in highly profitable ways. We walk together quietly, side by side.
At the entrance, he turns me to face him. “What about after?”
“After what?”
“After lying low.”
“We’ll see.”
Normally, he wouldn’t let my vagueness go, but this isn’t normal circumstances. If our secret comes out, his life is at risk.
Wrapping my arms around him, I give him a quick hug. Besides Hanna, he’s the closest person I have to family.
“Take care,” he says when I pull away.
I rush up the steps and don’t look back. I go forward, like I always do.
Fetching Hanna, I take her down to the dining room. We have dinner against the backdrop of the view. I feed her, my heart aching when I remember the strong, proud woman who’d cooked for me in her kitchen. I miss those times, but this is the present, and this is who we’ve become. I imprint every detail in my mind. I inhale her perfume. Anais Anais. I make a new memory as I sit next to her and hold her hand while we talk about old times.
When it’s time for Hanna’s medication, the nurse tells me Lena would like to say goodbye before I go. My heart breaks a little more with every step I take away from the small, wrinkled woman who raised me, but I keep my shoulders straight. Turning in the doorway, I wave cheerfully, giving Hanna my happiest face. Then I round the corner and she’s gone, lost from my view. The loss is so profound I have to brace myself with a hand on the wall.
A nurse walks by. “Is everything all right, ma’am?”
“Yes.” I straighten. “Perfectly.”
Swallowing my tears, I go to Lena’s office.
Her face is grim. “Sit down, Mina.”
My chest shrinks as I sink down into the chair facing her desk. “Is it bad?”
“I’m afraid so.” She leans over and takes my hand where it rests on the desktop. “I’m sorry. The leukemia is back.”
Even if I expected it, the news comes as a blow.
“There’s a new treatment,” Lena says. “It’s still experimental, but—”
“No.” The previous treatment was hell. “No more treatment.”
She gives me a sympathetic look. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I get to my feet. “Thank you for running the tests.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Will you take care of Hanna?”
“You can count on me.”
“I’ll transfer the rest of the money soon.”
“Take care of yourself, and call me if you change your mind about the treatment.”
With the reassurance that Hanna’s every need will be catered to, I catch a taxi to the train station where I buy a ticket to Prague. While I wait, I order a cup of tea in the cafeteria. The brew is strong and bitter.
It tastes like goodbyes and regret.
20
Yan
Something’s up. Ilya wouldn’t call me otherwise. The hair on my nape stands on end as I hold up a palm to silence Anton in the middle of his sentence and take the call.
“What’s wrong?”
Ilya clears his throat. “It’s Mina.”
I’m on my feet. “What did you do?” I’ll kill the fucker if he touched her.
“It may be nothing.” He hesitates. “I didn’t want to take a chance.”
