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I start to head for the bar to get a drink of water when my phone vibrates from my pocket. I fish it out and inch to the side of the room where it’s a bit less grind-up-on-each-other so I can read the message.
Ayden: Yep. She was awake. Sorry I missed the band play. I just got so caught up in talking to Sadie. And I really didn’t want to leave.
Me: Don’t apologize. U should be there with her.
Ayden: Well, I’m not there right now. The nurse kicked us out because visiting hours were over and Sadie needed to rest.
Me: R U home? I’ll head there if you are.
“Actually, I’m here.” Ayden’s voice sails over my shoulder.
A huge smile plasters across my face as I spin around and loop my arms around him. “Tell me how it went. I want to hear everything.”
“I will, but let’s go sit down,” he says, brushing his lips across my cheek.
When I pull back, he places a hand on the small of my back and steers me toward the bar. We take a seat near the end where there are fewer people and the music isn’t so loud. While Ayden asks the bartender for two cups of water, I seize the opportunity to study him, trying to determine if he looks upset or not. He actually looks pretty content, so I’m hoping the visit with his sister went well.
“I’m going to tell you what happened,” he says, as if he reads my mind. “But there’s something else I need to tell you first.”
I pick up the glass of water the bartender sets down in front of me. “Should I be worried?”
He shakes his head, brushing a few strands of his dark hair out of his eyes. “This is actually a good thing.”
“Okay.” The silence is maddening as I wait for him to explain. “Ayden, please, pretty please with a cherry on top, tell me what’s going on. The anticipation and build up is killing me.”
He chuckles, so enjoying the slow torture he’s putting me through. “Fine, but only because you pretty pleased.” His fingers wrap around the glass of water, and he takes a sip before he says, “I’m going on the tour. Well, as long as you guys will take me back.”
“Of course we’ll take you back! I’ve never been so happy in my life!” I shout then roll my eyes at myself. “Well, okay, that might be a tad bit dramatic, but whatever. I’m super excited!”
He busts up laughing but then grows solemn. “I’m not going to be there the entire time. Well, I will for most of the performances, but I’m going to fly and drive back home whenever I can so I can spend time with Sadie.”
“That’s okay. You should spend time with her.” Unable to contain my excitement, I jump onto his lap. “I’m just glad you’re going.”
“I am too.” His hand slips around my back and urges me closer.
“You’re doing this because you want to, though, right?” I ask. “Not just to make me happy. I know I’ve been a little whiney about you not going, but I never want you to do something you don’t want to do.”
“I want to go. I love playing my guitar. Plus, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity I don’t want to miss out on,” he says. “But I’d be lying if I didn’t say that part of the reason I want to go so badly is because of you. I can’t be away from you for that long. And I want to be there for you, like all the times you’ve been there for me.”
I lean back, looking him in the eyes. “I can totally accept that answer.”
“Good,” he says, then casts a glance over his shoulder toward the dance floor where Sage is jumping up around and failing his hands in the air. Then he looks over at Nolan just down the bar from us, chatting with a couple of girls. “I should probably go ask Sage and Nolan if they’re cool with this. You guys did find a replacement, right?”
“But we never promised him he could go on the tour with us. Tonight was like a try out.” I hop off his lap and tug him to his feet. “Trust me. They’re going to be stoked you’re coming.” I pause before I drag him over to Sage. “Everything was okay with Sadie, though, right? I mean, as okay as anything can be in that kind of situation.”
He wavers, biting on his bottom lip. “I think she’s okay. Not great. I mean, I talked to her for hours, which has to mean something. But I could see the fear in her eyes, and she was really nervous around other people.” He massages his chest with his hand like his heart literally aches for her. “She reminds me a lot of myself three or four years ago . . . And she refused to talk about anything other than me and my life . . . I worry she won’t be able to recover from this if she doesn’t deal with stuff.”
“Ayden, I’m so sorry. I know it has to be hard for you to see her like that.” And poor Sadie for having to go through what she has. It’s such a horrible thing and I want to help her so much. Maybe I can. Maybe Ayden and I can help her get through this. “But look at you. You’ve changed so much since you first showed up at the Gregorys’ house. If you can overcome it, I think she might be able to also.”
“I just wish she didn’t have such a difficult time ahead of her,” he whispers, his beautiful eyes glossy with impending tears. “I think that’s what makes this so hard. Me knowing how difficult it’s going to be for her to heal. “
“I know . . . But we can be there for her. You and I . . . I want to help.”
“I know you do, and I want you to help. She could use a friend like you even if she might not act like she does.”
A smile tugs at my lips. “You mean like how you needed me?”
He nods, smoothing his thumb across my skin before he cups my cheek. “Lyric, there aren’t even words to describe how lucky I am to have you in my life . . . If it wouldn’t have been for you and your insane need to make me happy . . . I’m not sure I would even be here.” He crushes me against his chest, hugging me tightly.
We stay that way for at least a full song, hugging each other, savoring the moment we could’ve very well never had. It’s such a simple thing, a hug, just arms around each other, lungs breathing, hearts beating, two people standing in the middle of tons of other people all having their own experiences. But the moment feels so epically important to me, like this is the start to something bigger—a starting point to a long, twisty, but very exciting road.
I tip my head back to meet his eyes. “How about we go celebrate this ever so amazing time we have together by telling Sage and Nolan that you’re back in the band? And then we can all celebrate.”
“I’m just crossing my fingers they’ll want to celebrate,” he says as he follows me toward the dance floor.
I end up being right. Sage and Nolan are more than thrilled to have Ayden back in the band. Sage even does his celebration dance, which basically means he makes an ass of himself by attempting to break dance.
The night ends on a perfect note. And I have a feeling there’s going to be a lifetime full of them.
THE NEXT FEW WEEKS GO by fast. Most of my days are spent packing my stuff, practicing with my band, and helping Sadie adjust to living with the Gregorys and getting to know her as much as she’ll let me. She seems to be doing okay in her new life, but she spends a lot of time in her room, listening to music. Lila has her in therapy three times a week, and I think Sadie might be taking something for anxiety, even though no one has flat out said it. I’d probably be less willing to go on the tour, but I remind myself that I’ll be returning home next week to visit and the week after that.
Lila and Ethan have set up flights and car rides home for me, so I’ll never be gone for more than a handful of days, and Lyric is even coming home with me some of those times. While Sadie insists it’s unnecessary to come home to see her, I’d never be able to live with myself if I bailed out of her life for three months. And I want to get to know her when she’s ready to let me in.
It’s strange to think I’ll be leaving soon. That I’ll be out on the road, completely free to live my life without the threat of the Soulless Mileas trying to take me. Many of the members are in jail now and are being charged with many crimes. But the most relieving part is that my father is being charged with my brother Felix’s
murder and my mom’s, something Detective Rannali informed me of during a phone call a few days ago. He also told me that my sister and I might have to testify during the case. I wasn’t too happy about that, but I’ll face it when the time comes. Right now, I just want to take things one step at a time and focus on the good stuff in my life.
The day finally arrives to say bye to everyone and leave for the tour. Saying goodbye to the Gregorys is hard, but saying goodbye to Sadie is the most difficult.
“Call me if you need anything at all,” I say as I hug her goodbye in the driveway.
“I will.” She puts an unsteady arm around me, doing her best to hug me back. We’re both extremely nervous huggers so the moment is awkward, but I’m just glad we’re here to experience it.
“And I mean it. Morning, noon, and night,” I say. “I’ll have my phone on me at all times. I want to be there for you. No matter what you need, just call me.”
“Look at you, Shy Boy,” Lyric says as she swings her leg over the fence and leaps into my yard. She has on a backpack and is carrying her guitar case, ready to hit the road. “You’re starting to sound like me.”
“That’s actually a really good compliment.” I hug Sadie for a second longer then step back. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” I ask her.
Her eyes flick back at the Gregorys’ home then she nods, hugging her arms around herself. “This place seems okay.” Her gaze slides to Lyric and she timidly waves.
When the two of them met, they seemed to hit it off. I wish they had more time to get to know each other before we take off, wish Sadie and I had more time too. But I remind myself that I’ll be back here next week, and the week after.
“Hey, Sadie.” Lyric grins as she waves. “Did you get that old guitar I sent over?”
Sadie nods then flinches as a dog starts howling from one of the neighbors’ yards. “I did. Thanks for giving it to me. You didn’t have to.”
“I know, but I wanted to.” Lyric smiles reassuringly, making Sadie the slightest bit less uneasy.
I’m not surprised Sadie seems less nervous being around Lyric. Well, less nervous than she is around other people. It was Lyric’s positivity that made me feel content even in the most unsettling times, and gave me hope that one day I could be happy too. I’m crossing my fingers it’ll do the same for Sadie.
“Well, thank you . . . I-I’m really excited to learn how to play it,” Sadie says to Lyric then she nervously backs away as a SUV pulls up in the driveway. “I think I’m just going to wait on the steps.” She rushes back to the porch and sinks down on the stairs, eyeballing Sage and Nolan as they get out of the car.
Nolan walks around and opens the back of the SUV while Sage strolls up the driveway toward us.
“You guys ready to get this show on the road?” Sage asks, then his gaze darts to Sadie. “Who’s that?”
“That’s my sister,” I say, picking up my bag from off the ground.
“They adopted someone else?” Sage asks with a crook of his brow.
“Kind of,” I say, not ready to tell Sage the details of my life yet.
I sling my duffel bag over my shoulder and head down the driveway to load up my stuff. After we’ve gotten everything into the car, Lyric says goodbye to her parents while I give everyone in my family a hug.
Once I’m finished with the goodbyes, I slide into the backseat of the SUV with Lyric. She holds my hand as Nolan backs out onto the road.
“It’s kind of funny,” Lyric says, resting her head on my shoulder. “But you were doing this exact same thing a couple of years ago, only you were going to the house instead of away from it. It’s crazy to think about.”
She’s right. The day I arrived at the Gregorys’ I was sitting in the backseat of their SUV, feeling nervous and alone in the world. But that lonely, scared guy who feared life and hated himself isn’t the person sitting in this seat right now. I’m so much different. I have dreams now. Want things. Have people who care about me. Who love me. Who are there for me.
I’m not alone anymore.
I’m not a ghost.
Who floats through life.
