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“What’s the matter, Valentina?”
“Um, nothing. I just stubbed my toe.”
Fuck! Why the hell did I say that? Jesus, how stupid did I sound? Kai doesn’t say anything else, so I assume I have gotten away with it. I go back to my perusal of the breathtaking dress hanging in front of me.
The dress is an ivory silk gown that will cling to my every curve. It’s embroidered with an intricate lace bodice that will keep my girls up and in nicely, which stops just above my waist but continues around the hem of the trail. It’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen, so wasted for this sham of a wedding but I might as well go to the lion’s den dressed in style.
I get undressed and shimmy myself into the dress, but the bodice ties with ribbons at the back. I have to regretfully call for assistance to help me fasten and tighten the dress. After feeling like I’m going to pass out several times or rip the poor dress maker’s hair out, I’m finally securely in the dress.
I’m then left alone to stare at my reflection. The dress is spectacular. I look just how I dreamt I’d look on my wedding day. My eyes fill with unshed tears for a future lost and a child’s fantasy shattered beyond repair. I get caught up in my perusal and mourning when Kai calls for me.
“My Little Vixen, are you going to come out and show me the dress?”
I take a deep breath to settle my emotions and take one last look in the mirror. There is no way I’m not going to be able to show Kai the dress, but I’m really scared of his reaction. It scares me that he will not like me in the dress and shatter my heart completely. The thing that scares me the most is how much I really care about his reactions to me.
I have unhealthy emotions regarding Kai; I want his desire, his care, his devotion and above all his love. I want him to look at me as though I’m the only woman in the world. I want him to need me more than the air he breathes. I need him to give me the love I lost and never thought I would be lucky enough to get back when I lost my Mama.
I’m not a child anymore though, after living in our world nearly all of my life I know better than to dream the impossible. Mafia men do not love, it’s a sign of weakness to them. They see women as commodities or possessions, to use and abuse until they have had their fill. They either pass their unwanted present onto some other sadistic fucker or just dispose of the rubbish. After, they get another new shiny plaything and rinse and repeat. They are not loyal to their wives either, as they have several mistresses or fuck toys.
Now, do I expect Kai to be any different? Hell no, so these stupid feelings I have for him have to stop. I can’t let him have any power over me at all, and to give Kai my heart would be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It’s time to show these bigoted Mafia men how dangerous a Queen can be once she has been crowned. Believe me I’ll burn their worlds down to the ground and stand laughing in the ashes of their kingdoms.
I step out from behind the screen where the makeshift changing room is situated as a huge man enters the room. I stop, frozen in place, locked in a memory long forgotten in my past.
I was running through the woods near our estate chasing butterflies. I thought I was a lost fairy princess back then, if only life was so simple. No fairy prince would ever come to save me though. I was destined for a gilded gold cage for all eternity, that was until I ran into the chest of a giant of a boy. The force of the collision made me fall back and land flat on my arse.
I cry out in pain and go silent in shock as I look at the boy in front of me. I know I’m small as I’m only eight, but this boy must be at least 6ft. He is bigger than most of my Papa’s guards, with muscles I’ve never seen on a boy before. He’s also scowling at me as though he’s annoyed with my presence.
“Who are you?” I ask, unable to hide the trepidation in my voice.
“Why do you want to know, going to tell your Papa on me? Um?” He growls angrily at me. His voice is so deep and gravely I wonder to myself as to whether I hit my head in my fall, and if this is all a dream. I pinch myself to test the theory, but no. It’s real.
“Why would I tell my Papa about you? Why are you here?”
“It’s none of your business why I’m here, go back to your entitled existence Princess.”
I watch him walk back from where he was coming from, confused by what he’s said. I’m not a Princess, far from it, and why would I tell my Papa about him? My Papa is cruel to my Mama, especially if she disturbs him in his office. No, I stay clear of him at all costs. I’m still pondering his words as he disappears further into the woods, and I get angry because how dare he speak to me like that.
I get up and march after him ready to give him a piece of my mind, not worried in the slightest for my safety. I’m marching deeper into the woods for about 10 minutes when I stop, stunned by the sight I see before me.
The boy is grappling with a deer. He seems to have it in a choke hold, trying to suffocate it to death. I think about going over to stop him, to rescue the deer somehow, but for some reason, I decided to hide behind a tree instead. The deer stops moving. I don’t think I will ever get the noises it made whilst struggling to survive out of my head. The boy loosens his hold and bows his head; I’m sure I heard a quiet sob escape from him. He runs his hand over the deer and stands up, quietly composing himself.
I’m unsure why I do what I do next. Thinking back now it was rather stupid of me, an eight-year-old girl, but I did it anyway. I step out of my hiding place and slowly walk toward them. The woodland floor is not a quiet place, so as I’m walking toward him a twig snaps under my feet. The boy whips around, staring at me like a predator on alert.
“What the hell are you doing here, have you followed me? I knew you were going to be trouble, haven’t you got any sense in that little head of yours? I guess not when you follow strangers into the woods, You’re lucky it’s just me, little girl,” the boy growls at me.
“I was following you to give you a piece of my mind, you big…Bear you. I don’t appreciate the way you spoke to me back there, what gives you the right to judge me. I’m not a princess actually, far from it, and I would not tell my Papa about you because that would also get me into trouble for being here in the first place.”
“You’re telling me that your own Papa doesn’t even know where his precious princess is? Being the man he is, I very much doubt it, Red.”
“What do you mean? The man he is?”
“Do you not know Red? That your Papa is the Bratva boss in this area, that in turn makes you a Bratva princess, Red. A Kingdom built on blood and bones, but a Kingdom nonetheless. So, I very much doubt your Papa doesn’t know where you are Red.”
“I… So, my Papa kills people too?”
“Yes Red. Sorry but your Papa is an awfully bad man. Now, I need to go before they come in search of you and catch me with a deer from your estate. I’ll be dead if they do.”
“They would kill you for killing a deer. Why do you need it anyway?”
