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Then, as his fingers landed at the small of my back, they slid back up, soothing the pain he’d just inflicted. Again and again. Pain and comfort. Agony, then serenity. My head was spinning.
“Cassandra, I never meant to hurt you.”
With a swipe of my hand across my nose, I rolled back and held up my hand, shushing him, struggling to pull myself together just as the urge to urinate hit hard. An idea popped in that I felt was just the thing to get him to leave me in peace. I couldn’t hear his voice any longer; didn’t want to hear any of his excuses.
With focused determination, I searched the blanket for the buzzer.
Logan grabbed my hand. “What are you looking for?”
I yanked it away, narrowing my eyes at him. “None of your business.”
Once it was in my hand, I pressed the button. Instantly, a nurse at the desk answered. “How can I help you?”
“Yes, I need to use the restroom.”
“A nurse will be right in to help.”
Of course, Logan didn’t get the memo that now was a great time for him to give me some privacy. Instead, he cocked his head to the side with a resolute stare and then, to my shock and horror, shoved one hand gently under my back and the other under my knees, lifting me from the bed.
“Put me down!” I shrieked in a panic.
He didn’t listen, and I was too sore to get away. The blanket began to fall but I held it firmly, not ready for him to see the giant bandage covering my thigh, even though he might have felt it with his arms wrapped under me. As I held tightly to his neck with one hand, something yanked at my other hand holding the blanket, tugging at the tape-covered skin.
“IV!” I spit out.
He stopped immediately and grabbed the IV stand, rolling it beside us as he carried me to the restroom and kicked open the door.
My grip around his neck tightened as he bent down, lifted the lid, then rested me on the toilet. I wanted to die. My face burned, and I could only imagine the deep shade of red covering it. I maneuvered the blanket to cover my lap fully and sat there staring at him, wide-eyed.
Did that really just happen?
“I’ll wait outside the door.” He said it so calmly I was left speechless.
As my brain began to spark back to life, fury piqued inside me. How was I expected to pee with Logan right outside a door I realized very quickly was left a crack open?
Hell no!
“Close the door!” I yelled out.
“Just pee.”
“Not until you close the door!”
“What if you fall and I can’t hear you?”
Was he really justifying leaving the door open enough to listen while I used the restroom?
“Shut the damn door, Logan, or I swear to God—”
“Is everything all right in here?” I heard Marilyn, the day nurse, ask, and relief flooded me. She was the sweetest but toughest nurse I had—always the one to force me out of bed to walk up and down the hall, with her at my side, to keep the muscles in my legs strong.
“Yes, can you please shut the door for me?”
The next thing I knew, the door was closed, and I heard the muffled voices of a conversation between Logan and the middle-aged redhead. The woman was ruthless; she would lay into him. I smiled at the image.
Quickly, I was able to focus on the task at hand. I’d never peed so fast in my life. After I finished my business, I heard the voices quiet. I struggled to lean forward enough to reach the sink and wash my hands in record time, then called for Marilyn.
“You ready?” she asked and, when I gave a quick yes, the door opened to reveal her laughing at something Logan was saying, her hand on his shoulder. He looked me over, as if I might’ve gotten hurt during the sixty seconds I’d been in there.
In two long strides, he was in front of me, smiling.
“Feel better?”
I rolled my eyes, snubbing him. I’d hoped Marilyn would be there to help me up, but Logan scooped me back into his arms. His scent was all I could focus on, committed to not making a scene. A part of me missed his natural scent: so masculine and clean. So Logan.
“It’s safer if she walks,” Marilyn complained, but he continued until he was beside my bed, placing me back down gently.
“Was that really necessary?” I sneered, not bothering to look his way as I smoothed the blanket back out over my legs. I swatted his hand away when he tried to help.
Marilyn laughed, earning her a sneer too, which she only shrugged at. “Well, I’ll leave you two alone,” she said, and left the room.
Back in place, I was ready for sleep to end my mortifying torture of the day’s events—even if that meant enduring another nightmare.
I looked up at him. “Seriously, you can go. I’m sure Oliver and Julia will be back any minute, and I don’t plan on having anything else humiliating for you to witness before then.” I focused my gaze on the opposite wall, waiting for some wisecrack on his part.
Instead, his hand caught my chin, pulling my attention back to him very slowly. The moment my eyes met his, he released my face. I sat frozen from the agony written over his expression.
“I’m not leaving until you listen to me—until you understand that I’m never going to walk away from you again.” His hand came back, his pointer finger running over my cheek briefly, but it only added to the agony on his features. His fingers withdrew as though they’d been burnt.
“I fucked up, Cassandra. I hate myself for it and I can’t take it back, but I will spend every day and every night proving I can be the man you need me to be.”
His eyes were so soft, voice so sincere, but I couldn’t let it get through my defenses. I couldn’t go there again. The pain was too much. He didn’t really want me—it was only guilt he felt.
“Logan, I—”
He silenced me with a single tear that lingered in his clouded blue eyes before falling to his cheek.
His eyes closed for a moment then opened, begging me to hear him out. “Don’t. Don’t tell me no, or that it’s too late. I’m already aware of that, but I won’t give up. I just need you to know…I’m never letting you walk away from me again.”
“I got Jell-Os and found blueberry muffins!”
I swallowed the fresh tears brewing and mammoth emotions buzzing in my gut, and smiled at Oliver walking in as though everything was always rainbows and sunshine. I wished it were so easy.
“Thanks,” I said, pulling on a forced smile.
Logan backed away so Oliver could hand me the small plate and plastic spoon.
“Bet it’s not as yummy as yours, d’ough.”
I smiled. No matter how much anger I held for his father, Oliver was as sweet a child as you could find.
“We should get going. Cassandra looks tired,” Julia said, sensing the tension in the room. I offered her a grateful but uncomfortable smile.
“I’ll come see you when I get home, and I’ll have Hilary bring Scout by tonight for you,” I told Oliver.
He stretched up on his tiptoes and rested his head over my chest. My arms held him in place for a pause, relishing the comfort he exuded. I brushed a hand through his mop of blond curls. “Make sure Scout gets lots of love,” I whispered.
He looked up and nodded. “I will. Promise.”
He was such a good kid. Luck was definitely on my side when fate placed him in the house beside me. If only I could say the same for his father.
