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He turned to face her but gripped the counter behind him. To keep from reaching for her? To hug or to strangle? Could be either. “I’m used to being detached and, yes, cruel when necessary.” The muscles in his arms bunched and flexed. “I’m a lone wolf.”
Now it was her turn to flinch. She might have walked away if not for the turmoil swirling in his eyes. God, they were so much alike. He’d been alone much longer than her. How much more difficult was it for him to let someone in?
“I don’t want to be a lone wolf anymore.” His jaw tightened. “But I don’t know how to be any other way. I’m afraid if I allow myself to change, to let down my guard, you’ll pay the price. But it’s getting harder and harder to function, to find the cold, logical place where I can assess every threat and figure out the right course of action.”
She approached him slowly. He watched her as if she was a dangerous predator about to pounce. And maybe she was. Taking a chance she’d be rejected, she slipped her arms around his waist and hugged him.
“Maybe you have to find a new place, one that integrates both sides.” She pressed her hand against his chest, right over where his tattoo was etched. Like before, her hand began to tingle. “Even a lone wolf shouldn’t be alone. No one should.”
He plucked her off her feet and into his arms and buried his face in her hair. “What if I fail you?”
How had she ever thought him cold and distant? If anything, he was like a dormant volcano, all calm on the outside but a bubbling mass of molten lava on the inside. God help whoever was around when it finally erupted.
“You can’t fail me.” It was important he heard and understood what she was telling him. She took his face in her hands. “Look at me. You’re not infallible, no one is. All you can do—all either of us can do—is our best. Blocking yourself off from our connection, from your emotions, does nothing but hurt you. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. I’m guilty of doing the same thing. For some crazy reason, I can’t keep my heart closed around you.”
His big body shuddered. He sat her on the edge of the counter. “Tell me again.”
It was a measure of how in step they were that she understood what he wanted. Her courage wavered, but she’d come too far to go back. And screw it. What was she protecting herself from? Death was coming. If not soon then eventually. By holding back, she was living half a life. A safe one, maybe, but a lonely one.
She took a deep breath and looked right into his eyes. This time, there was no doubt. “I love you.”
Fur rippled across his skin. For a brief second, the face of a wolf was superimposed over his, like a mirage. Then it was gone.
“You’re mine. Now and forever. There will never be another woman for me for as long as I live.” Not the words she’d given him, but his equivalency.
“Then no more trying to pretend, for either of us. We’re connected.” She rubbed her hand over his chest, enjoying the tingle. “We make our own magic. Screw the mage and the other wolf and his minions.”
“You’re so damn fierce and fearless. My wolf adores you.”
Pride had her sitting up straighter. “I’ve only seen him once, but I’m pretty impressed with your wolf.”
“Would you like to see him again now?” His offer was tentative, as if he feared she’d reject this part of him.
“I’d love to. There’s no part of you I don’t accept. I know who you are, what you are, and what you’ve done.”
He took a step back and held up his hands. “Many call me a cold-blooded killer.”
“There’s nothing cold-blooded about you. Never has been. You wrap yourself in ice to protect yourself. It’s not that you don’t feel anything. It’s that you feel too much. You’re the white wolf. You bring justice. You protect your species. That comes at a cost, one I’m sorry you’ve had to pay.” She prayed he believed her. There was nothing else she could say or do to convince him.
The rest was up to him.
…
You feel too much.
The words vibrated in every fiber of his being. The tattoo on his chest was warm, almost hot from where she’d touched him. He was a man at war with himself. For so bloody long, he’d lived a certain way. Believed there was no other choice. He wanted to change but wasn’t sure he could.
If I don’t, I’ll lose her.
He might as well rip out his heart and toss it on the ground. He hadn’t been lying when he’d told her she was the one woman for him. Eternity was too long to spend without her. He’d fight for her, for them. He wanted forever—an impossible dream. He’d take whatever years she had. When she left this world, he’d happily follow. It wasn’t shirking his duty. He’d done his time, and there were two more lone wolves to pick up the slack.
All he had to do was keep her alive.
Grabbing a fistful of shirt, he yanked it over his head and tossed it aside. His boots and socks were next. He paused at the zipper of his jeans. Her pulse was slightly elevated, but she was calm and composed. When he sniffed the air, it wasn’t fear he smelled but anticipation.
He shoved his jeans down and off. Naked—in more ways than one—he stood before her. “Watch.” He slowed the process, allowing her to see every detail of the transformation. His bones reformed. His head changed shape, the jaw elongating and the top flattening. Fur pushed up from beneath his skin. Dropping forward, it wasn’t hands that hit the floor but giant paws. He gave a shake, settling into his other form.
Mouth open, jaw dropped, she stared. “Incredible.” She eased off the counter and held out her hand. “May I?”
