Page 114 of Balls to the Walls


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A loud beeping filled the air, getting progressively faster with every second that passed. I looked at Thumper in horror. This was really fucking bad.

“What the fuck did you do?”

“I—”

“We need to get out of here,” he shouted, hooking his gear back to the cable to start the climb.

There wasn’t time to get out of here. This was my fault, and I would be damned if someone else was going to pay the price for my mistake. I laid down on my belly and got another look at the device. The beeping was erratic now, barely even a string of sound at this point.

“FNG, get your ass out of there!” Thumper shouted as he reached for the elevator doors to haul himself out of the shaft.

I looked back at the bomb one last time. I had to do something now. My pulse raced beneath my skin and my life flashed before my eyes. For the first time in my life, I thought I might actually die. I grabbed the device from the ground, knowing that no matter what happened next, I was about to die.

With a warrior’s cry, I hurled the device across the shaft, slamming it into the wall. It crumpled to the ground, the lights blinking several times before shorting out and going silent. I waited for it to blow, but nothing happened. Slowly, I crept toward the device and nudged it with my toe. The trigger fell to the side, showing no signs of still being active.

I released a harsh breath and slumped against the wall. Looking up, I saw Thumper staring down at me with an incredulous look on his face. I raised my shaky hand to my ear and called it in.

“All clear. The bomb seems to be inactive.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” IRIS shouted.

“I—uh—threw it against the wall. It’s silent.”

“Get the fuck out of there now. Touch nothing else. Do you copy?”

“Roger that. FNG, over and out.”

My legs gave out and I collapsed in a heap on the ground. I couldn’t move if I wanted to. I stared at the bomb, then started laughing. Out of all the times I thought there was even a remote possibility of dying, this was by far the most scary. It must be because I had a wife at home to think about now.

“FNG, get your ass up here!” Thumper shouted.

“Yeah, I’m gonna need a minute to get my legs in working order again.”

“If I have to come down there and drag you to the surface, you’re gonna have more problems than spaghetti legs.”

It was time to pay the piper, or whatever the fuck the saying was. I hauled myself off the ground and attached my rigging to the cable. It took a hell of a lot longer to get to the top than it should have. And when I was finally parallel to the elevator doors, Thumper stood in the opening with his arms crossed over his chest and an evil look on his face.

I flopped into the elevator opening and rolled over to face the ceiling. Thumper appeared above me, still scowling.

“So, you still think that was a good idea?”

“It wasn’t my best, but it worked.”

He shook his head and held out his hand to help me up. I wasn’t ready to be on my feet again, but it was clear I wasn’t being given the option. He slapped me on the shoulder, his hand gripping me tight.

“If you ever do something like that again, I will put a bomb under your bed that not even IRIS can dismantle. And then I’ll put the timer on the ceiling so you can watch as your life slowly counts down in front of your very eyes.”

“I could just close my eyes.”

“I could tape them open,” he sneered.

Right, this wasn’t the time for arguments. “Cool, so, no more bombs for me.”

“No more anything for you. I’m benching you.”

“Yeah, you can’t really do that. You don’t have the authority.”

“Watch me.”

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