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“I serve you,” I said in surprise.
“Yes, you will be my personal butler. And Sasha will be yours.”
So, the butler had a butler. That was interesting. But it meant I was staying alive for a little bit longer, so I went with it.
“And what are my responsibilities as your butler?” I really hoped he didn’t want me to cut his toenails. That was just too creepy.
“You will be my personal…friend.”
“Okay, and what else?”
“You know…you go with me places. You will be my companion.”
Companion to a former KGB agent. I could do that. It would keep me alive. That is, as long as he wasn’t still going out and spying on other countries. That could get me killed fast. Or even seen as a traitor to my own country. Either way, I had to play this right and stay on his good side. My life depended on it.
21
FNG
“What doesany of this have to do with why you were naked?” the judge interrupted.
“We were at the spa and he was going to leave. I couldn’t let him go without explaining.”
“Explaining what?”
“Well, why I didn’t contact him.”
“So, you ran out naked?” the judge asked.
“Yes, Your Honor.”
“And how is any of this entrapment?”
“Well, Your Honor, I was only naked because the officer ordered me to release the towel. He knew that the moment I let go, the towel would fall. Is that the very definition of entrapment?”
He sat back in his seat, sighing in disbelief. “So, you want the court to believe that you went out on a highly classified mission, escaped in just the nick of time, then were picked up in the ocean by a former KGB spy who ordered you to be his butler?”
I knew how it sounded, but did the judge want me to lie? “Every word of it is true.”
He huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. “That is by far the most far-fetched, inconceivable, ridiculous story I have ever heard. I’m not sure who’s stupider. You for telling it or me for listening. Charges dismissed.”
He banged the gavel and got up from his seat, storming out of the courtroom. I turned to my lawyer with a grin on my face. “Thanks for the help.”
“Not sure I did anything,” he answered, stuffing his notepad in his briefcase. “Do me a favor. Tell your boss if he ever needs my services again for you, don’t bother calling.”
I turned and waved to Cash, who rolled his eyes at me. Honey was sitting beside him, practically bouncing in her seat as she waited for me. I walked to the back and wrapped her up in my arms, glad that was over.
“How the fuck did you manage to talk your way out of those charges?”
“I was telling the truth.”
Cash shoved up out of his seat and glared at me. “Really? You stayed with a KGB spy? For how long?”
I thought it over. “You know, it’s hard to say. Time kind of slipped away from me, but I think it was for a good two months.”
“What happened? Did he get tired of you?”
“You know, that’s just mean. We were actually good friends until he died.”
