AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I missed you,” he whispered in my ear.
Something stuttered in my chest, almost like my heart skipped a beat. But the real shocker was when I felt moisture in my eyes, welling like a damn fountain. I was on the verge of crying, and why? Because this kid was hugging me, squeezing me like I meant the world to him. Me. A guy that by all means should be in prison right now. A man who didn’t deserve the love of this little kid.
He pulled back and practically jumped out of my arms, running over to the fridge where a drawing hung. He came running back to me, shoving it in my face.
“See? This is you! I drawed in last night for you. That’s me. That’s the mean man. And that’s you!”
I was curled around his body, protecting him as the mean man stood over us. The images that still ran through this kid’s head were horrific. And he saw me as his hero. He ran off again and I hung my head, unable to deal with the fact that this kid thought of me as one of the good guys. He saw only through the eyes of an innocent, not the destruction I caused to get to that point.
Somewhere out there, a cop’s family had to go to his funeral, probably completely unaware of his bad behavior. They mourned him. He was someone’s father and husband. And I took that away without a second thought because I thought it was for the greater good. I was no hero. I was a man who should be behind bars.
“I have to go,” I said, shoving to my feet without looking back at Skylar. The drawing slipped from my fingers, falling to the floor as Istormed out of the house. This was all wrong. I couldn’t let Skylar think this was anything more than us being neighbors. It didn’t matter what I wanted when she returned. All that mattered was the fact that I couldn’t change anything about my past.
It would never change the man deep inside me.
37
SKYLAR
Three days passedwithout a single sign of Jack. He refused to answer the door and I never saw him outside. I was beginning to worry about what he would do to himself. I wanted to believe that he was strong enough not to do something stupid, but he was so down on himself, so convinced that he wasn’t good enough.
Sighing, I walked away from his door again and got in the car with Parker.
“Mama, is Jack coming over for dinner tonight?”
“I don’t know, baby.”
“Does he not like me?”
I hated what Jack was going through, but I hated even more that my kid was hurting because he didn’t understand. “Of course he likes you, sweetie. But adults have busy lives. I’m sure we’ll see him again soon.”
“Maybe he’s sad.”
“Why would you say that?” I asked, glancing at him in the rearview mirror.
“Because he was crying when I gave him the picture,” he said, as if that wasn’t shocking news.
I knew something upset him and he ran out of the house, but I had no idea it affected him like that.
“Maybe he needs a hug,” Parker said matter-of-factly.
“Yeah, you might be right.”
I pulled up to the school moments later and parked to drop Parker off for his first day of school. I was a bundle of nerves, though it was more about what happened two months ago than anything else. Parker loved school, but he hadn’t been back in a setting like this since he was taken. It was probably my own insecurities about leaving him with someone else that had me so rattled.
I opened the outer door and waited to be buzzed inside. I knew I was squeezing his hand too tight as I walked him to his classroom, but I was terrified.
“Mama, you’re hurting me,” Parker whispered.
“Sorry, baby.” I sucked back the tears that were threatening to spill down my cheeks. If Parker saw how upset I was, it would only make things worse. I finally reached his room and bent down, smiling at him as I adjusted the straps on his backpack that made it too loose.
“Are you ready for your first day of school?”
He nodded enthusiastically. “Do you think I’ll learn about the ocean?”
“Maybe.”
“And the stars? What about Siberian Tigers?”
