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"No, that's not it."
"Aha, but there is something!" Rachel exclaimed triumphantly. "Come on, out with it."
"I met someone. Her name is Atina, she's a pilot on the P0TA-2. But she loves her job and is about to set off for another milky way. Her captain did offer me a job to look after live cargo but I have the animals and I don't want to leave you. So I'm just a little sad but I'll get over it," I said, wanting to make it clear that I wasn't going anywhere.
Rachel was quiet for a moment. "Are you in love?"
"I think... No, IknowI have feelings for her. But it doesn't matter, I belong here."
My cousin laughed softly. "Look around, Heather. The whole planet is purple, the people are blue, neither of us belong here. We uprooted our whole life to be here becauseIfell in love."
"Well, and because the bank was going to take our farm and our animals."
"Yes, that too. But you didn't have to come with me."
"I didn't want to say goodbye to you," I told her, taking her hand in mine.
A smile brightened Rachel's face. "And we're not saying goodbye, you idiot. But we don't have to be attached by the hip either. If you want to stretch your wings, you can. It's about time you flew the nest."
"What about the farm? The animals? I can't just leave all the sheep and cows and chickens behind to travel around space."
“Then don’t. Ever heard of part-time jobs? And now that Tamsia is going to do more around the farm and that we have Kiwi to help with herding the sheep, you won't have to do as much. How about this: After the lambing season, you join your woman for a few months? That gives you enough time to get everything in order and maybe even train an assistant. Then you can work on the ship with her for another few months."
My cousin made it sound easy. And maybe it was. I threw my arms around Rachel and embraced her tighter than ever. “I love you, you’re the best.”
“Does this mean I’m turning the shuttle around?” she asked.
“Turn it around! I have a ship to catch!”
22
Atina
Ididn't take notice of anything until I was back in my cabin and the door closed behind me. I felt like curling up into a ball and drown in self-pity.
Heather was gone. She'd chosen a life without me. I'd likely never see her again. She'd be on Kyven with her fluffy white cloud-animals while I was travelling the stars, so very far away. My belly felt wrong, as if something was missing. It hurt worse than after a disembowelment. My bowels always grew back, but I wasn't sure if this invisible wound would ever heal.
Still, it was good to know that Heather was safe and well. I didn't want her to be unhappy just to be with me. I wasn't that selfish, no matter how much it hurt to be apart from her.
I looked around my cabin. It looked so very empty. So boring. I realised I didn't even have a picture of Heather. Maybe that was for the best. I should try and forget about her as fast as possible before I went crazy. I had to focus on my job. Not concentrating during a launch or landing could mean certain death not just for me, but for the entire crew of the P0TA-2.
My controlband vibrated. Captain Ellabee wanted to see me on the bridge. I didn't look forward to telling her that she was going to have to look for someone else to care for live cargo, but at least this would distract me from my grief.
I ignored the crew members I saw on the way to the bridge, heading there as fast as I could. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. To be honest, I didn't feel like doing anything at all. What I wanted was Heather, but I couldn't have her.
Ellabee was alone on the bridge. I was glad. Katak had the emotional intelligence of a rashipi and I didn't feel like explaining to him why I felt the way I did.
The captain didn't ask me what had happened or whether Heather was going to join her crew. Instead, she pointed at the door that led to my cockpit.
"I need you to unlock your station for your replacement. I can't be bothered to look for the access codes in the manual."
Replacement? My hearts sank. Was she firing me?
"What have I done wrong?" I asked, my voice quivering.
"Wrong? Nothing. Unless you count falling in love as a mistake."
Rak. Maybe she thought that I wouldn't be able to focus on my job without Heather.
