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I told him what I knew about the troubled executives at Seamark and the offer the president of the board had given me. "It's ridiculous amounts of money. Even short term. Should they not decide to keep me, the payout's the same."
"Generous. They must really want you."
"My former CFO is there, you know. Apparently, offering the job to me was his idea. They think a lot of him there, so his word means something.”
"Felix, right?"
I nodded, smiling to myself. Pop always remembered everything I told him about my life, including the people I worked with.
"You and Felix built Trackspeare together every step of the way,” Pop said. “He knows how good you are."
I'd texted Felix after I'd hung up with Wells, and we'd talked for a good hour about the company and his experiences there. He told me honestly that most of the initial work would fall under cleanup, given the emotional state of the staff. After learning about the duplicitous nature of the executives, morale was at an all-time low. Restructuring and layoffs were necessary too.
None of which would be the work required of a start-up. Building everything exactly how I wanted it had suited me. Cleaning up for integrity-challenged executives didn’t necessarily appeal to me.
However, the potential to make positive changes that gave employees more time with their families appealed to me. The long hours I’d worked at Trackspeare had often been shared with my employees. I’d felt bad about the lack of work-life balance but in the end, it was all worth it. All of us came awayrich. That said, in general, I had wanted the men and women who worked for me to have something besides just a career. Having grown up with Pop, who was always available to watch class plays or attend sports activities, I’d wanted our employees to have the same privileges. Families were built during time spent together, not with Dad or Mom spending every waking hour at work. Money was money, but family was everything.
"There's a lot to consider," I said. "I've just gotten settled in here. Scout loves living in the country. It goes without saying that spending time with my family has been even better than I anticipated. And there's Annie."
"Annie." Pop nodded and stretched his legs out long. “Tell me more.”
"I can't explain it. We have a connection that time hasn't erased." I got up to poke the fire, more for something to do with my hands than actual necessity. "Did you know you wanted to marry Mama right away?"
"I was smitten the moment I set eyes on her, that's for sure. It took a little time to understand how she felt about me or how I could fit into her family. All in all, it was terrible timing. But it didn't change how we felt about each other. Or how I felt about you precious boys." His voice faltered, and he cleared his throat. “As I’ve said before, God made me to be a part of this family."
"What would have happened to us without you? I can’t imagine.”
"Nah, your mama would've figured out a way to take care of you all. She's a fighter. That said, I was mighty pleased to be able to be a part of your lives and family. Being a husband and father has been my greatest life's work and joy. Nothing else compares."
I sat with that for a moment. He reiterated what I'd already been thinking. Why would I give up this life to go back to the grind of high-tech? I didn't need the money. Taking the position would be pure ego.
"You had a lot of dreams and ambition," Pop said. "Did you get your fill, or do you need more?"
"I think I got my fill. The hours I spent building Trackspeare left little time for anything else. I'm not ready to go back to that kind of lifestyle. I had to hire a dog walker, for heaven's sake." I'd been chronically tired from lack of proper sleep. My diet had consisted of meals from the food court on the first floor of the building where we rented office space. I'd had no time for leisure activities and had barely managed a workout every morning. Without my trainer, I would never have stayed in shape.
I yawned just thinking about all those 5:00 a.m. cycling and weight sessions. Now I got up every day at a quarter past seven and went to bed no later than ten. I liked being rested and healthy. I liked the balance in my life.
Still, the lure of the money and power loomed large.
But Annie? If we were to have a chance to be together, we couldn't both have all-consuming jobs. Since I’d learned about her role in the Banks movie, I’d been thinking about how we could have a future together. It did not entail me taking a position such as this.
"I think I have to turn it down," I said. "As flattering as it is. I've finally got a life back. I'm not ready to give it up."
"Whatever you decide, we'll support you. It's been great having you home, though. We'd miss you a lot if you decided to take it. However, it's not our life or our choice. You have to do what's best for you."
"How do I know what that is?"
"Listen to your gut. It'll never let you down. Unless you ignore it, and then fate gets all rowdy and God only knows what could happen."
“I know you and Mama have no secrets, but could you keep this to yourself until I decide for sure? I don’t want her to worry about it or have it ruin the holidays.”
“Agreed. Although I think you already know the answer,” Pop said.
We were called in to dinner then and had to cut our conversation short. Pop clasped my shoulder before we headed inside and gave it a squeeze. "You'll do the right thing. I know you will."
I'm glad one of us felt so sure.
15
