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In the privacy of the bathroom, I lean against the door and close my eyes, taking a deep breath.
I should be angry at the way Prodigy spoke to me. Should trust my gut instinct. The voice in the back of my head warning me to go home. Whispering that I don’t belong here. Except I let that self-doubt win when it came to Hound. By the time I realized my mistake, it was too late, and he was back with Karma. Not that things didn’t work out for the best for them. They’re great together and there’s no ill will between us. At least not on my end.
Hound thinks I tried to play him for attention. Imaginably that was part of things, but not fully. I know what I saw. Adam was at my house. Standing in the woods. Watching me, or banking on catching a glimpse of the girls. He knows he’s not welcome in our lives. I gave him too many chances. Ones he didn’t deserve. Every single time, he disappointed us. Mostly them.
I stopped expecting anything good from him a long time ago. I’d always hoped for the sake of my girls that he would repair that damage he’d done when it came to being a father. That hope was a dangerous thing. Something he used against me time and again.
The light flickers and I blink. What if it’s a sign the universe is trying to relay a message or something. Like stop thinking about the past.
Focus on the now.
Prodigy inviting me here tonight surprises me. I thought whatever connection or spark there was last spring had completely fizzled when he stopped texting or coming around. Then we bumped into each other, and it was like there hadn’t been months between us.
Like nothing had changed.
No way am I going to admit it and make his head swell more than it likely already has, but Prodigy being an asshole turns me on. Most men don’t call me on my shit. They handle me with care. Like I’m delicate. Made of glass.
Due to my affiliation with the club through my brother, most members of Royal Bastards know the ugly history of my failed marriage. They also know if they misstep with me, my brother will be out for blood. Club brother or not.
I’ve tried to keep my distance. Like it or not, the members of this club’s lives are intertwined with mine and that of my girls. We will always cross paths and to be fair, I’d say seventy-five percent of the men may not be law abiding upstanding citizens. They ride hard and love even harder. I’d be a liar if I said getting involved with a motorcycle man doesn’t terrify me.
Bikers are known to stray, and I had enough of that when I was with Adam.
I’ve lived it and watched Pam fall apart when my brother did it to her. No way do I want to experience that heartache again. All this time, I’ve guarded my heart. Been careful not to fall too easy and too fast. Not letting any man get close to my girls. I fucked them up enough on my own, along with their father’s help. He didn’t make it easy on me to walk away.
I took that man back more times than I’d like to admit.
I’ve not been romantically involved with any man since then, other than my brief entanglement with Hound. Though I’m not sure what we had qualifies as romantic.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fully trust another man, but for tonight I can pretend that I’m not damaged goods. That I’ve not had my heart stomped to pieces more times than I care to recollect.
Sucking in a deep breath, I do a once over in the mirror, smoothing my flyaway hairs. The bathroom door swings open. One of the club girls enters.
“Love that skirt.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re here with Prodigy, right?” She moves in next to me at the mirror, pulling a tube of lipstick out from between her tits. I know her type. Slutty and desperate. The type who can sway even the best of men into their bed.
“Kind of.”
“Well, if you aren’t going home with him, do you mind if I hit him up?”
She doesn’t even meet my gaze as I shoot daggers at her. Is this bitch for real?
Do I mind?
I flash her a smile, hoping my uneasiness doesn’t show. “It’s a free country. Excuse me.” I leave her to it and stomp back to the bar to down my drink. Cranberry juice and liquor coats the back of my throat.
“You good?” Prodigy raises a brow at me as I wave to the bartender to pour me another.
No way am I confessing that some whore in the bathroom cornered me to basically inform me she wants to fuck him tonight if I’m not going to, and my first thought was to slam her head down against the sink like a jealous girlfriend.
“Never better. Why?”
“I think I came down too hard on you before. I’m sorry.”
“Why don’t we start over? Hmm.”
