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“Look out for Kiesha.”
Link shows him a picture and Jimmy smiles. “Don’t even think about it.” Link snarls at him and I slap the back of his head.
“This is important. Get to the school. Find her. Pretend to be her boyfriend for all I care. Don’t let her out of your sight and if this fucker shows up, don’t engage with him. Get her out of there. Understand?”
“Yeah. Yeah. What do I say to my girlfriend?”
“She’s not really your girlfriend. We’ll let her in on the plan, and she’ll be aware to watch for your arrival. She can play along.”
“No, man. Sabrina. She gets jealous as hell.”
“You want that patch, Jimmy?”
He nods.
“You explain its club business. She can accept it or move the fuck on.”
Chapter Thirteen
I’ve never known easy a day in my life, but that’s how Prodigy makes me feel. Like life is a dream. Even with all the awful shit happening. How he is with me, I’ve never experienced this kind of relationship. One where both people are honest and talk things through.
The man must have the patience of a saint. Because even when I push back hard, he steps right up. Calls me out and talks me through it. We’re only getting started, yet this connection we share is one like we’ve been together for years. Maybe it’s because we’ve known each other for years through the club.
All I know is if this doesn’t work out, I’ll never love again. Imagining him out of my life now that I have experienced how good we can be is physically painful. After all these years of protecting my heart and my girls, he’s gotten to me. A few nights with him and I want to let go of all my doubts and worries. Write them on paper and burn them or stuff them in a bottle and toss them in the ocean.
His love terrifies me and makes me whole.
Heals my aching soul.
I smile, going into work, ready to face whatever life or Adam decides to throw my way.
Part of me wants to confront Marie about him. While the logical side says I need to play it cool. She may not be familiar with his past. Not to mention she is likely fighting her own demons, thanks to him. Today I mostly want to feel her out.
My brother is going to hit up Lily to find out what she knows about the situation. Hopefully, she will have some insight that will better help us navigate. I don’t want to spook her. I recognize better than anyone what it’s like to lie to yourself about the man you think loves you.
To make excuses for the abuse.
To blame yourself for his reactions.
To lie to others about the bruises on your face.
To cover them with inches of thick layers of makeup.
I don’t have a clue what stage of denial or recovery she’s in.
I backslid for that man so many times because, as much as he was addicted to alcohol and pills in some sick way, I was addicted to him. So dependent on him that I couldn’t think for myself.
Told myself that only love could hurt like that.
He loved me so much that he resorted to using his fists.
I clawed my way out of that darkness.
And still after all these years some deep and twisted voice in my head resorts to questioning if I made him this way. Made him a monster. I realize that isn’t the case. The truth is, he doesn’t know how to love. That had nothing to do with me. It wouldn’t have mattered what I did or said. Adam is who he is, and I can’t keep punishing myself for that.
I believed I’d broken that cycle.
That he only treated me that way.
