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“No, nothing… I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you got here today! Uff-da. Are you even up for all these people tonight?”
She’s sorry?
“I—”
“If you’re wiped, I could drive you home.” She bites the corner of her lip, peering up at me through her lashes. “We could have a beer at your place. Talk and catch up some… in private?”
Ehh, shit.
* * *
Cam
For four years I’ve been wondering whether I made a mistake. If I should have trusted in something that felt like it was too good to be true instead of running away like the scared kid that I was.
A handful of times I’ve broken down and scoured the Internet for any hint that Trevor Gulbrandsen’s arrow might not be shooting quite as straight as everyone assumed… but I’ve never seen even a hint of him following through on that promise he made me out on the lake.
He said he wasn’t scared.
That he didn’t need to hide.
I know there have been women. I’m not proud of the sites I had to log into to find out, but even playing primarily on the farm team, Trevor draws enough attention to have a smattering of casual encounters show up on the boards.
Not a lot. Hell, there were only three that I found. All women without even a whisper of a man.
But in case that wasn’t enough, seeing Laura Jansen tucked up under Trevor’s arm, her tits mushed against his side, and this epic eye-lock they have going clears it up for me.
I swallow hard and force my eyes back to Neil and Judy.
At least someone didn’t get blindsided tonight. Judy might have shown up separately, but since I got here, she hasn’t taken her eyes off my buddy once. And despite having been in love with this girl and captain of the simp squad for most of his life… he’s not actually drooling or trying to snip a lock of her hair or doing any of the thousand desperate things I wouldn’t put past the sad sap. He’s just… having fun. And so is she.
Something I’m not about to get in the way of just because I can barely fucking breathe knowing that Trevor is back in town. So it’s time to vamoose. “Hey, man, thanks for getting me out tonight, but I’m beat. Are you cool if I take off?”
He legit can barely peel his eyes off Judy when he clears me to bail. It puts a smile on my face that holds up until I get outside and take a heavy breath as I walk to my truck.
She’s old enough to need a key to start and doesn’t connect to a phone or any other device, but she’s reliable and gets me where I’m going. So I try to treat her right in return. Keep her clean, tune her up, give her a minute before I ask her to get me the fuck away from my greatest heartbreak.
While I wait for her engine to warm up, I look back to the house. And just my luck, there in the front window, Trevor bows his head down to Laura’s.
A proposition for her ears only? She tilts her head back and smiles before taking his hand and guiding him toward the door.
3
Cam
I shouldn’t be swimming in the lake tonight. My body was spent after practice, but after the party and seeing Trevor? The rhythmic cut of my arms through the water, more meditation than exercise, is all that’s keeping me sane.
For all these years, I just sort of liked to think of Trevor as out there. A maybe. And tonight he went from a rare fantasy I try not to indulge in… to a hard no.
Because he’s back, but he didn’t call. He didn’t reach out or stop by the store.
He didn’t do anything but show up and put a smile on the face of a girl who has been waiting for him forever. So, good for her. Good for them.
My arms pull through the cool water, my breath drawing every third burning stroke.
It doesn’t matter that he’s back. It doesn’t change anything.
I swim through the darkness, listening to the water and my breath, the sounds of being inside my head.
