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Finally, I manage to let a response roll off my tongue. “I don’t understand what you mean by that.” I see Emil nod in agreement as I lean forward to brace my elbows on my knees.
“It’s something I don’t fully understand either,” she says softly, while fidgeting with her fingers in her lap. “Even when I was a child, it happened without warning. I just know I have to deliver the message.” Her brows knit together in thought.
“What kind of messages?” Emil asks the question that was on the tip of my tongue.
She sighs softly, her eyes never leaving ours. “Cryptic ones or ones that are very direct. For instance, when you went away before, and I told you to extinguish the flames...” I give a curt nod. “I was told to relay that to you in that moment.”
Blowing out a breath, I shake my head in confusion, wishing I didn’t drink an entire ocean of bourbon last night. Because this isn’t power, this is something that goes beyond realms and Gods. This is a way for fate to walk among us. Emil sits silently in thought while mindlessly trailing a finger over the designs etched into the velvet material wrapping the cushion.
“Why tell us now?” I ask, because this has been happening since I could remember.
She wrings the extra material of her dress between her hands and locks her deep blue eyes on mine. “I was afraid that the stars or fate would be angry if I gave away this secret.” Suddenly, a watery sheen fills her eyes, and she turns her head to look away.
“The night your father passed, I was so—” A small cry tumbles from her lips but she smothers it with her hand. “I begged the stars to exchange me for him, and it—” A flood of tears falls down her cheeks. “It fills me with so much guilt that I could beg for them to take me away from the two of you.”
She sucks in a shaky breath as my chest silently cleaves in two while we wait for her to continue. “Then, I begged them to never let either of you feel that pain. To be forgiven for ever thinking that separating from you was an option and that I would do whatever it took, even giving up the ability for them to speak to me.”
Grabbing a handkerchief, she presses it to her cheeks. Her chest shakes. Seeing her in this state is like reliving my father’s death all over again, and it’s tearing my heart to shreds.
When her eyes slowly drag back up to mine, she inhales deeply, holding it and then exhaling slowly. “The stars never punished me with their silence and continue to communicate with me. I’m not shown anything, but I think this is their way of letting me help, but this secret is one I can’t hold on to any longer.”
Standing up, I walk the two feet and plop down beside her, pulling her in for a hug. “Don’t feel guilty for something you aren’t alone in doing. The night he died, I pleaded for him to come back, too. For the stars to take me if it would instantly put that smile back on your face.”
She goes to pull out of my arms, but I hold her tighter, needing her to hear this. “He was a better man than I’ll ever be. I remember being so angry with fate for ignoring me then. For only responding with silence when I was screaming for them to listen. But all that matters now is that we have each other.”
A thump sounds to my right and I find Emil on his knees before our mother. “Mother,” his voice cracks. “Please don’t cry.”
When she pulls back, I let her this time and she cups her hands on both of our cheeks. “What makes you wish to tell us now?” Emil asks after a few beats of silence.
She sniffles and the sound sends a fissure rippling through my chest. “Do you remember when Princess Emma came here for the ball?”
My muscles become tense when I stiffly pull away, my eyes bouncing back and forth between hers. “You know I do.”
One tight nod is all she offers to acknowledge that there is no way I could forget the one who swept in like a rising storm and caught me in her path. “The morning she left, I gave her the book she borrowed from the library and in it…” She pauses, nibbling on her lip.
“Was a message?” Emil asks.
My heart jumps, picking up its pace.
“When light and dark collide, your fate will be split in two,” she says softly, her eyes pinning mine. “Now we know that was a message for her future and what she was going to face.”
Another whip of pain lashes at my heart.
“The reason I bring that up is because I’ve been sent another message.” Every jump to my heart thunders in my chest and I feel the blood drain from my face. Everyone here is fully aware of what Emma means to me, and how thin the bridge I’m standing in the middle of is as I try to make my way to her. The bridge is one snap of a rope away from careening me into the part of myself that will become more beast than sane.
“For her,” Emil whispers and she nods. I jump to my feet, scrubbing a hand through my hair as I begin to burn a path back and forth on the floor. “What is it, Mother?” Emil’s voice sounds muffled from the pounding filling my ears.
She pushes off the sofa and stands in front of me, halting my movement. Her small hand gently cups the side of my jaw, and a tender smile graces her face. My eyes dart back and forth to her all-knowing ones as she softly swipes a loose strand of hair off my forehead.
A slight shake of her head as her hand drops until her fingers dig into the material of my shirt. “Fate demands the sacrifice of the one who holds the balance of two worlds.”
Her cryptic words tidal wave into my chest, flooding my lungs until there’s no room for air. I stare at her unblinking as her words replay in my head and my vision starts to blur around the edges.
“Are you saying fate demands Emma’s life?” I choke out, my eyes burning with each second that passes when she doesn’t respond.
The silence stretches, but her eyes just plead with mine. Her hand falls away when I walk behind my chair, grasping the back of it with both palms and drop my head forward.
I squeeze my eyes shut, grinding my teeth together at the thought of Emma dying. “You can’t tell me,” I rasp out.
