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The tip of its claw connects right where my heart is beating frantically. An explosion of light sends shockwaves through the water that rattles the ocean floor. It surges into my chest, sending heat through my veins that burns like a million suns.
My eyes slam shut with a grunt as it travels into my core of power, slicing through the shadows and opening a path to the part of me that has been locked away. The piece of my soul that has been forced to watch every mind-numbing kill. I follow it, seeing a kernel of pure, white light swirling in the center. My heart beats irregularly as I mentally reach for it. Longing to bring myself out of the dark and live with my own mind intact.
When I go to pull it to me, I hesitate, and the light glimmers just out of my reach. The darkness has been with me for so long… What if this angers it, causing it to lash out? Distantly, the Masiren’s voice cuts through my thoughts as if it knows where my mind has headed.
“The darkness is you. The shadows are a storm of your creation. They will listen if you accept that they are part of your soul.”
Sensing the shadows floating just on the outskirts of my mind, I dive into the memory when the darkness felt like a friend instead of a foe. When it silently held me through the times I thought I would die. A friend that never left.
I reach for the light, clinging onto it as I slowly bring it to the surface. But it’s slipping. I can feel myself losing the hold I have on it.
Noo! I cry out in frustration as it falls away, and the shadows start swarming around in a violent chaos.
But the Masiren’s sliver of power once again clears a path, pushing the darkness to the side for me to try again.
I must do this. Not only for the Masiren, but for myself. Because I’m worth saving.
With an unsteady inhale, I let my mind drift to try and center my focus. A memory sneaks through, causing my cheeks to raise and my lips to turn upward. It’s one of Cora throwing a slipper at Prince Draven, and a small, silent chuckle shakes my chest as it eases the nerves away.
Another memory collides into my psyche. One where I’m held against a warm, strong body, and the steady breaths of the Dark Prince sleeping soundly beside me. A time I felt safe as I was tucked into his arms. My heart swells as a sense of calmness washes over me.
It's then that I find another reason to keep fighting. To not give up. Because they are worth it. My friends who have become family to me, and I don’t want to lose that.
But I have to break free of Whiro’s hold and manipulations. To block the power he holds over me. With that thought in mind, I push the memories away and close the distance to grab hold of the light with all of my will, desperately not wanting to let go.
The darkness behind my eyes disappears as white light detonates with a blinding warmth that spreads through my body. The icy fog in my head clears away and I inhale a deep, calming breath that feels like the first warm ray from the morning light.
My eyes slowly flutter open, connecting with the Masiren as it watches me carefully. “You…” I pause, not sure what to say. For the first time in months, my soul is not divided in two, but instead merged as one. I can feel the two entities of power swirling tighter inside me, balancing each other. “You cleared the darkness,” I say softly on shallow breath.
“No, I only guided you to your light.”
My mind churns the possibilities of this over in a dizzying vortex, but the truth can’t be hidden when it’s right in front of me. “Is this truly real?” I ask with a sharp shake of my head. Denial is the first thing I cling on to. “I’ve tried to rid myself of the darkness and failed every time.”
The Masiren tsks. “Lying is not something I’m capable of. I can only speak truths. So, yes, this is real. You are stronger than you realize. And it’s not a weakness to need help, quite the opposite. I only cleared a path for you.” Its tail swishes through the water before pointing at me. “You took hold of your light and pushed the shadows away. You are the one who is now balancing the power of two Gods. Not me. I only helped you open your eyes.”
I lift my trembling hands radiating with a soft glow from my fingertips in front of my face. Hands that have ended lives who did not deserve such a cruel fate.
I curl my fingers in, fisting them tightly until my nails dig hard enough into my palm to sting. All the feelings that were numb come rushing to the surface. Flashes of that Fae on his knees before me reel in my mind. Of my hand diving into his chest to crush his beating heart. Of the Corrupted I ended without thought, of the male I hunted and stole away from his mate. I can feel myself spiraling, reliving the evil acts that I had relished in.
The tip of the Masiren’s tail touches beneath my chin, lifting my head to force my eyes to meet its own. “You can’t change what has already passed. Don’t fear your darkness, because not all monsters dwell in the shadows. Some have fallen into them, only to rise stronger with the power to command, while keeping their hearts beating with tenderness. The shadows are not your enemy, and you are not the enemy. You have only fallen, so it’s time to get up.”
A burning starts to spill in my eyes, but no tears spring free. I bite my bottom lip to keep it from trembling. The Masiren cocks its head and looks pointedly at my hands. “Show me your powers, because you must control them.”
“You mean to hide my light?”
“Only from those who wish to destroy it.”
Another game. To pretend that I’m still consumed by the darkness, giving me time to find a way to end another male who calls himself my father. I let my eyes fall shut, reaching deep down to the core of my power. I’m easily mesmerized by the way they both dance together to the beat of my heart. I grapple with both, trying to ignite each power in my hands simultaneously.
Except, as soon as I feel their strength surge through my veins to my fingertips, they spark and then dim out. I huff loudly, clenching my teeth tightly together.
“Try again,” the Masiren says patiently.
So, I do. I try repeatedly, to the point that I’m not sure how much time has passed, but most likely enough for my absence to be noted. Exhaustion pulls at me, but I refuse to stop. I will never stop fighting.
The next attempt, I clear my thoughts and push away the frustration. Instead of seeing the power, I only feel for it. Letting it trickle to the surface before pushing each one in a different direction. My heart races as if it will jump out my chest, as one of my hands begins to warm and the other turns freezing.
“The strength lies in you. Open your eyes.” The Masiren’s voice filters into my mind. I slowly let my eyelids lift, the blurriness clearing away until a gasp escapes me.
