AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I softly shake my head, letting my gaze travel over every inch of her face, completely transfixed. “Far from it,” I huff on a breath that is so full of love that I wish she could see herself through my eyes. “You are no monster, because I watched you save the Corrupted.” I wasn’t going to bring it up, but she needs to hear this.
Her eyes widen with what looks like uncertainty.
“Your power beamed in the night. You looked like a blade of lightning amid the darkest storm. Powerful. Bright. And mesmerizing.” Her grey eyes swirl with so many emotions that my words almost get lodged in my throat. “I will happily let you strike me down if it means I get to be with you in the end.”
She sniffs, parting her lips as she holds back a soft sob. “But I killed them. Innocent people! And one who you saved!” Tears well again at the corner of her eyes and I immediately wipe them away, knowing she’s letting the guilt eat away at her. That it is dragging her down beneath the sea with a weight tied around her ankles.
“And I—” She rips her face out of my grasp before covering it with her hands. “I enjoyed it when I saw the life leave their eyes. I can feel their deaths as if it was a living thing crawling beneath my skin. And their voices…”
I gently brush some of her hair back behind the shell of her ear. “What about their voices?”
Another sniffled sob, her voice becoming muffled in the palm of her hands. “Their final pleas still haunt me. Every. Single. Day.”
Her cries fill the room and my fingers twitch to pull her back into my arms, but she needs this moment. To spill free everything she’s been holding tightly locked away.
I fold my hands together as I look at the wall above her bed. “When my father died, I lost myself. I didn’t care about anything or anyone. I just wanted to feel…something. I was so angry, so lost within myself.”
Her sobs soften to little pants as she slowly quiets to listen.
“If you think you are a monster, then you are the most angelic one I’ve ever seen, and it puts me on a one-way trip to hell.” I huff out a laugh to try and lighten the mood. “Maybe that’s why Whiro wants me—to make me pay for all the lives I took.”
Her hands fall away as she swallows roughly. “How many?”
I let my eyes drop down to her wide ones and my chest fucking hurts as I relive one of the darkest times in my life. “Too many to count, little demon. I went looking for fights. At the first sight of blood, it only fueled me to keep going instead of stopping when I should have. I’m ashamed of what I did, and I have no one to blame but myself.”
I inhale deeply, searching her eyes for any fear or disgust, but finding none.
“I never wanted to tell you because I feared you would despise me, leaving me with all of my ghosts and demons you don’t deserve.” My eyes close as I voice what she needs to understand. “You could never be a monster, Emma. Not in my eyes.”
I feel her soft touch blanket my hands before pulling one free to interlock our fingers together. “Our demons are meant to walk in the shadows together, remember? They don’t terrify me.” Her thumb runs lazy circles over mine.
I cup her cheek and pull her face close, our lips an inch apart. “Then don’t fear your grief, but feel it. Don’t let it consume you until you don’t recognize yourself. Instead, live each day doing something to honor them.”
She sniffs with a small smile, letting her head lean on my hand. But then, something heavy falls over the look in her eyes and her smile drops. That sight alone makes something splinter in my chest.
“I am not worthy of you.”
For her whole life she has been cast aside and ignored. The only attention given to her was when she was abused, and after seeing the extent of it… I can’t seem to make the images of her smothered in her own blood leave my mind.
The longer she stares at me, waiting, the more I want that fucking smile back on her face. I want her to know that she is not the one who is unworthy.
In the next breath, I slam my mouth to hers. I put everything I want her to feel into this kiss before I pull back to rest my forehead against hers, breathing heavily. “I want every part of you, Emma. Even the parts you seem to think are unworthy.”
I tilt my face just enough to kiss the side of her jaw. “How many times did your screams make your throat raw before you chose silence?” I feather against her skin, moving my lips to kiss the other side of her jaw. “How much blood did you have to lose before you locked yourself far into the recess of your mind to protect yourself?”
My fingers trail down her arms, taking the sheet with it until I find a scar beneath my fingertips when I reach the top of her thighs, caressing the raised skin. “How many scars did it take before you couldn’t look in the mirror?”
She sucks in a trembling breath, her body shivering beneath my touch.
“I saw it all, Emma. I fucking hate that you suffered through that, but I am thankful you survived. The silence you chose held power. It was like a sharpened sword in the night, ready and waiting. The cage you locked yourself away in your mind has hardened into a shield, to never let another hurt you again. And your scars…”
I trace soft circles around the one on her leg, exposed by the short-hemmed silver nightgown she wears.
I lean in until my lips brush the shell of her ear. “They tell a story of a girl who survived and not only wears her strength but grew her own wings, woven with bravery to save herself,” I whisper.
Chills break out against her skin as she turns her head to face mine, our noses touching and our breaths sharing the same air. Her wide eyes are so open, so fucking raw, it makes the organ in my chest lurch. I’m one weak thread away from tearing at the seams for this girl, to pull her in and force her to see how resilient she is.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
