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I don’t know how to lead, I said.
We will lose if you don’t, Leof replied. He didn’t sound angry. Just factual. This is our only advantage. That we are one and they are many.
I don’t like the sound of that, I thought without meaning to.
Amusement.
You’re right, Leof said as I watched from within his mind the clashing of his sword with the man he was fighting. We are many too. But we’re closer to each other than they’ll ever be. And it’s all because of you. You are in our minds. See us. Lead us.
I can’t, I replied.
You can’t or you won’t? He asked.
I didn’t reply. The minds of the monster folk were always open to me. I knew that from the few days I’d spent with them. They did not attempt to hide themselves from me.
I had done my best to ignore it until now. But they had followed me into battle nonetheless and now, they were dying.
They were in pain too. If I were to stop blocking them now, their pain would be mine. I could lead them like Leof said, but that also meant feeling whatever they felt.
The thought scared me.
But they needed me.
I could not abandon them.
I saw Collin fall in the distance. I knew his heart and mind. He was a kind man who had been taken from a tavern in the city, forty years ago. He had been ten when the queen’s soldiers took him. He had lived as a monster for all that time, and now, he knew he was going to die.
A life wasted...
I could not allow it.
What he didn’t know was that Nessa was close enough to help. There was a slight inclination between them that prevented the two from knowing that fact.
But I knew it. I could feel it.
Nessa, I reached her as I let Collin hear it too. Help Collin. He is to your left.
She didn’t bother with a response. Instead, she used her air to push away an arrow darting toward her and avoided a fight with the swordsmen rushing to her as she ran toward Collin. Karson took on the swordsmen in her stead when I told him he was needed.
Nessa reached Collin. She helped him up. He was limping now, but Karson was done with the swordsman and he and Nessa protected Collin as Collin limped behind the line of defense the others were establishing upon my command.
Once I did it, it was easy to keep it up. I was in all their minds. I could feel each wound and ache like it was mine.
And I could see the way to change the outcome of things, even if it was in a small way.
Ellaria. Aigneis. Una. Tara. You have range. Get on to the battlement and support the rest from there.
You should come to the battlement as well, Agneis replied as the others started moving to the battlement. I directed the air elementals to help and they turned away from the fight to lift them to the battlements using their air as I focused on Agneis.
I’m a healer, I told him. I should stay here.
If you fall, Leof said. We will too.
He was right. We were outnumbered, and could only fight so well because I was in their minds, protecting each other by letting the others know when to help.
I won’t fall, I said.
I focused on what could be done. It was difficult to see everything at once, but whenever I saw something that could help, I directed the monster folk.
