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“Let us join the others,” I said. “And then, we will discuss what to do next.”
Once again, everyone listened.
“The lake water is clean,” Casja reported as we made our way to camp. “Two rivers feed it. The forest nearby is full of animals and there is a large clearing around the mouth of the southern river that we can use for farming until we find something better. The air around here is... It’s not too cold or too warm. There is still snow on the mountain peak but nowhere else.”
“It’s not like Terlyth or Qam,” Brigid commented.
“The in-between,” I said. “I guess in more than one way.”
My friends smiled. It made me glad to see them so hopeful, but I could not share that hope.
The image of the dungeon and the feeling of suffering was still fresh in me. No matter how hard I thought about it, I could not tell who it was that I’d shared that glimpse with. I did not know what had happened to them, or why they had sent me the message.
Perhaps it had been a former monster who wanted to share their last memory with me.
I could not tell.
And no matter how hard I tried, I could not reach them again.
Slowly, the campfires burning all around the camp became visible. The fire elementals had made sure to hide the fires from a distance like I’d asked them to, which was why as soon as we saw the fires, we found the first tents as well.
The monster folk walking behind us dwindled as they saw their friends and relatives. They parted from the group to reunite with them.
“Everyone thinks this is far enough,” Muir said. “We don’t have to move to another stop.”
“If you think so,” I whispered.
“You disagree?” Muir asked.
“No,” I replied. “I... Listen. I don’t want to be making these decisions.”
Muir seemed... angry. I opened my mind to him to make sure.
“Fine,” he said. “I guess you will be leaving soon. Should I say goodbye now?”
The disappointment that had been oozing out of him for quite some time had now changed into anger.
“No,” I replied. “I am not leaving.”
“But you are planning to,” Muir said.
“Just to save my brother and...”
“We could help you with that,” Muir said tersely. “But no. You don’t want to lead us. You don’t want the responsibility. You...”
“Muir...” Niamh put a hand on his shoulder. I hadn’t even felt her approach. “Let it go. She has to decide on her own.”
Muir gave me a final glare, but before he took off, he still saluted me, the way a soldier might salute a queen.
They didn’t understand. Ilerd and his son had parted from our group before we left the previous camp. I could still feel the boy, grieving his mother. That was all on me. Leof didn’t have any family among monster folk, so there was no one blaming me for his death, but I felt it just the same.
Muir didn’t understand what it felt like to be in someone’s mind, feeling their pain and fear as they died, all the while knowing that my decision was the cause of their suffering. No one did.
“Jasmine!”
I turned around to see Amarra's approach. She was... running. She quickly reached me, and for a moment, she seemed like she was about to hug me, but she stopped herself at the last moment. If she had, I would have regretted asking the monster folk to release her as I left camp.
“You’re back,” she said, her smile wider than I’d ever seen. It made her face look different.
