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“I don’t know,” Casja replied. “I don’t even know how she will find out the location of the prison.”
“She sounded very sure of herself,” Cari said. “The princess... I didn’t think she had it in her to order Kieran around like that.”
I wasn’t surprised to hear that Cari was almost giggly at the idea of me being put in my place.
“Fiona has a strong will,” Gethin said proudly. “She survived the arena for a decade.”
“And she didn’t have much of a choice,” Casja said. “Kieran isn’t exactly eager to save the realm, and someone has to.”
“Maybe he thinks the realm is in better hands,” Cari suggested.
“I don’t think he does,” Gethin replied.
“He could not,” Casja said. “Lugh is a cruel man. He will not be a good ruler.”
“No, he won’t,” I said, without looking back.
They stopped speaking at once. As I got up, I tried to move my arm as little as possible, but the annoying tingling sensation came nonetheless. I straightened and turned around to face them.
The three of them sat around Marlian’s dinner table. There was an untouched meat pie in the middle of it, steaming as though Marlian had just pulled it out of the oven. They were all looking at me.
“But I don’t think we will succeed,” I said, shaking off the numbness. “Lugh is an idiot, and I don’t think even for a second that he has what it takes to pull this off, but he has Lady Queill on his side, and that woman tricked even my father into believing she was loyal to him for many years. They have Fiona and she’s refusing to escape, as if she doesn’t realize that her presence will give Lugh the legitimacy he needs to keep the crown. And he has leverage on all the lords who support us.”
“The support he has is fragile,” Casja said. “He tricked them.”
“It’s not as fragile as you think,” I replied. “Even before we left, there were lords and ladies who thought I was working with the enemy.”
“Because you took us in,” Casja said.
“Not only because of that,” I replied. “They blamed the ball attack on us. And when Cari tricked Jasmine into breaking into the dungeon, their suspicions were justified.”
“But you stood with Jasmine then,” Casja said and before I could reply, she went on. “You were right to do so. It was Lugh and Merick who let the monsters in. After you left, they killed the only witness to their crime. They made it look like suicide. Lady Xira and I discovered the truth and...”
“And how did that help?” I asked.
Casja’s face went pale.
“It didn’t,” she said. “But the fact that Lugh had to imprison so many lords despite all the lies they spewed tells me that their plan didn’t work like they wanted it to. Once we break them out of the prison...”
“How though?” I interrupted her. “The four of us, attacking a prison that is probably being guarded by hundreds of soldiers? We will have to persuade the prisoners to try and risk an escape. What if we’re caught? Won’t Lugh just kill them all? He can replace the lords loyal to us or keep lying to them about having their loved ones. No one will know.”
I hated seeing Casja’s lips quiver as my words seemed to get to her. She remained silent and so did Cari. Surprisingly, it was Gethin who spoke.
“When I was called to the trials,” he started, speaking softy but determinedly, “I did not think there was another choice. The trials had been going on for decades and no one ever questioned why we had to participate. So I accepted my fate. That was a mistake. If you and your friends hadn’t discovered the truth..."
“What truth?” I asked, unable to contain my anger. “We don’t know anything. We don’t know why the queen is doing all of this and now, thousands of fae live in danger because Lugh has all the power. The queen used her monsters to kill countless fae when she waged war on us. If I hadn’t intervened, they would still be alive...”
“And Fiona would still be at the arena,” Gethin interrupted me. “I would still be a monster, foaming in the mouth and unable to do anything when the queen ordered more experiments on me.”
“I would be dead,” Casja added.
“But his father would be alive,” Cari said, not meeting my eyes. “Jasmine would be awake.”
“Jasmine might have died at the arena as well,” Casja commented, but I did not hear her.
“You are saying I’m being selfish?” I asked Cari. I wasn’t offended. Perhaps it was time for me to be selfish. Perhaps I had been wrong all along.
“No,” Cari said. “I think you’re grieving.”
