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Boomer sat back, his anger obviously deflating. “Well, Iwould have liked a heads-up that someone was trying to steal my daughter’s research.Did you think about bringing an adult into any of this?”
“Don’t raise independent kids if you expect them to cling toyou. We took care of things. They were our problems to deal with,” TJ insisted.“And honestly, what would you have done that Kala and I didn’t do? We didn’twant Lou to know. She wasn’t ready then. She is now, and it’s not about wantingher to be grateful to me. I don’t want her gratitude. I want what I’ve alwayswanted. I want her to love me. It is right now.”
“It’s right for you,” Boomer pointed out. “What if it’s notright for Lou?”
“Then I should go back to Europe and rejoin my team and notcome home unless she asks for me.” It was his fucking nightmare. “I don’t knowhow I’ll watch her fall in love with someone else. See, this is why I pushed itoff. I knew the minute we got physical the friendship part was over and I wouldbe alone.”
“You have a massive family around you,” Boomer pointed out.
TJ shook his head. “I got nothing if I don’t have her.”
“All right. I can see where you’re coming from, but you haveto understand that Lou’s been doing the whole watching you from afar thing fora long time. What you describe as the worst outcome for you now has been herreality for years. I understand not getting physical with her during highschool and college. I actually think that was a mature decision.”
TJ wasn’t so sure. “It wasn’t. It was fear.”
“Sometimes fear is a good thing, but it’s time to put thataway now,” Boomer advised. “If you want to try a relationship with Lou, youhave to be brave.”
“I want to marry her. I know it seems fast…”
Boomer’s head shook. “Nothing about this has been fast. Nota damn thing, and that’s why you have to understand you’re on her timeline now.She’s been on yours for years. Can you give her some time to adjust? I’m nottelling you to leave her alone. I think that would be the worst thing you cando, but can you back off on having everything your way?”
“I’m not…”
“You are,” Boomer argued. “You’re upset with her because youcrooked your finger and she didn’t fall in line. I know that sounds harsh andit’s probably not what you meant, but it’s how it has to feel to her. What youfeel right now, she’s been going through for years.”
He felt his gut twist. “I never meant to hurt her.”
“And she’s not trying to hurt you. I know my girl, and thatbig brain of hers is working overtime to try to solve the equation. She’sasking a million questions you and I wouldn’t think to ask. Why now? What did Ido to finally make him see me, and what will happen when he realizes I’m stillthe same old Lou? How can I give in when everyone will know it won’t work inthe long run? How will I hold my head up when he leaves me?”
“She wouldn’t have to because Kala would murder me. She madethat plain a long time ago. Our partnership when it comes to Lou only goes sofar.” He sighed and sat back. “I can tell her I won’t leave, that this is forever,but I can’t make her believe it.”
“So give her time. Sit back, take care of her. Put herfirst,” Boomer advised. “And think, really think, about the future. I understandyou went through something hard. You might not always feel this way. I don’tknow how a relationship with her will work if you’re both in such high-stressjobs. You’ll be apart more than you’re together. That’s a lot of strain on arelationship.”
“I’m going to ask my uncle to have me moved onto the team aspart of their military detail.” He’d made the decision as he’d sat in thelounge the night before. Cooper and Zach had been joking around and he’d feltlike part of them, more than he’d felt on any team he’d ever been on. “And I’mgoing to take some language classes so I can help out more. Lou can bring me upto date on tech, and I’ll find a way to be more than cannon fodder. I know Ishouldn’t ask for favors, but…”
“Your mother will be thrilled.” Boomer’s head shook andMolly’s with him. “I don’t understand why you kids won’t accept that we did alot of work so you would have it easier than we did. I know the word privilegegets kicked around a lot, but I assure you your mom and dad didn’t do what theydid, make the sacrifices they made, so you would be out there on your own. Youruncle wants to help.”
“Dumbass,” Molly said.
Such a judgmental bird. “Well, I’m going to take everyadvantage I can get, but what if Lou doesn’t want me on the team?”
“Ask her. I think you’ll be surprised. You making that stepmight give her some solid ground to stand on.” Boomer looked him over. “Are yousure, TJ?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I knowwhat I can give her now. I thought I had to be as smart as her or as ambitious.I think she’s my ambition, making sure Lou has what she needs to do the workshe does—that’s my ambition. If what she needs is me staying home with the kidsand figuring out how to cook for all of us, then I’ll be the best stay-at-homedad I can be, and I’ll make my cousin teach me how to handle myself in akitchen. I know people will look down on me and I let that affect me for a longtime, but now I have one question. Why? Why should anyone look down on peoplewho are trying to figure out what’s right for them? What’s best for theirpartnership and their family? Lou has so much to give the world and I have somuch to give her. That’s enough for me, and if anyone thinks differently, theycan fuck right off.”
“Your uncles will tease the hell out of you.”
TJ waved that off. “They do that no matter what. They’llalso be proud of me for knowing how to love my wife and my family. After all,they’re the ones who taught me. You and Daphne are good examples.”
A smile crossed Boomer’s face. “I’m afraid we revolve aroundLou, too. She’s special. But if Daphne had asked me to quit my job and join herin the bakery because she needed me, I would have done it and not looked back.I would have done it because loving her is the best thing I ever did. Lou iscomplex, and you’re going to have to navigate that.”
“I can’t give up on us,” TJ replied. “But I can go easier onher. I was wondering how I should play this afternoon. I figured I could bringher a bunch of food she likes or I could top the hell out of her.”
Boomer’s head shook, and he pushed back from the table.“Nope. Too much information. I don’t want to know anything about what you twochoose to do in the club or out of it. Just use protection…”
“Wear a condom,” Molly added.
“…and be safe. And I think the food is the way to go. That’sdefinitely the way you should handle her this afternoon.”
