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TJ. He stood, his eyes dark and jawline tight. She’d pushedhim but she’d needed to. She’d needed to test them because she’d known so fullythat they would break. And he’d done it. He’d said the words, though theyhadn’t been cruel. They’d been what she’d feared most of all. That she wasn’tworth the trouble. That she was difficult and hard to love.
But he was still here. He was staring her down like an angryDom who meant every word he’d said.
She needed that Dom every bit as much as she needed thesweet boy who’d been her friend for years. She accepted that now. Maybe thesweet boy wouldn’t be able to handle her damage, but the man in front of hercould, and that meant they might be okay.
She sniffled, emotion running wild through her. “I didn’tdefend you.”
His head shook slightly. “I don’t care, Lou. I don’t careabout what anyone thinks of me except you, and your time is running out. If youforce me to spank you, you won’t be able to sit tomorrow, I promise you. You’llfeel my hand on your ass for the next couple of days. I would so rather punishyou in another way.”
A shiver went up her spine that had nothing to do with fear.Honestly, the thought of the spanking did something for her. Feeling his handon her skin for days wasn’t the deterrent he thought it was. Or maybe he knewher and this was a mind fuck.
And still, she rather thought it would be better for him ifshe followed his orders. If she needed the big bad Dom, maybe he needed herunquestioning submission from time to time. What if he was telling her thetruth and he didn’t care about mistakes made in the past, didn’t give a damn whatanyone thought of him. Only needed her.
She kicked out of her flats and shoved her slacks down, coolair hitting her skin and contrasting with the sun that streamed in from the bigwindows that formed the walls of her lab. She’d opened the screens when she’dcome in and didn’t think about closing them now. No one could see in, and evenif they could, she didn’t care in the moment.
In this moment all that mattered was being what he needed.The anxiety melted away as she fell to her knees and let her head fallsubmissively forward. He’d been right the night before. She hadn’t truly wantedto play. She’d hoped he would fall on his knees and eat her pussy and she couldhold parts of herself back from him.
That wasn’t what either of them needed.
He’d tried to make a safe space for them, a place where theydidn’t have to worry about the past or the future, and she’d fought him becauseworry seemed to be the thing she did best. She’d done it because she’d beenthinking of herself.
He wasn’t a prize to be won or an object to pine after. Sheloved him, and it was fucking time to show him that. Even if they didn’t workout. Even if somewhere down the line she lost him. Loss was inevitable, so shesuddenly wanted to make that loss as big as it could be. Her mother had toldher to live a big life. There was no big life without risk. She hated the word,but it was time to start using it.
She wished she had a bed in this monstrosity of a place.Some of the other labs had small cots for overnight experiments. She didn’t dothose, so she’d never seen the reason for it. However, looking at the big bulgein her Dom’s jeans, she could see the appeal.
She rather thought she was about to get tossed over one ofher chosen-for-their-aesthetics couches that dotted the space. They damnstraight hadn’t been made for rough sex with a big guy.
Lou dropped to her knees, hoping she could remember whatshe’d been taught. It had been over a year since she’d taken the class thatallowed her membership to The Hideout. Normally when she let a Dom run a scenewith her, there wasn’t a lot of formality. Half the time she high fived them atthe end.
This was serious. Everything about TJ was serious.
She let her head fall submissively forward and held herselfstill.
She heard TJ crossing over to her desk. The impulse to lookup and see what he was doing was a whole damn mood, but she held back.Patience. He’d had it with her, and now it was her turn. She kept her eyes onthe floor in front of her, listening as things shuffled around, and thenfinally she heard the thud of boots getting closer.
“You have some interesting things in here, Louisa.” Hiswell-worn boots moved into her field of vision. “I know you’re the innovator,but I play in that field, too. I don’t need my kit to handle you.”
The edge of the ruler she used to draw straight lines cameto rest under her chin. He lifted her head gently, bringing her eyes up so shecould look at him.
This was a different version of the man she loved, and sheunderstood why he’d held it back from her. This TJ was hungry, staring at herlike he could devour her whole and make her beg for more. She needed him, andhe needed the side of her she rarely accessed. The one who was confident enoughto take care of her Dom.
She could do this. She could be what he needed.
“Do you have a safe word?” he asked.
“I don’t need one. Not with you.”
His lips curled up slightly. “I could make you regret thosewords. Do you think I’m not capable of it?”
“I don’t think you’re capable of willingly hurting me in away I won’t enjoy. I think the minute you realized it was more than I couldhandle, you would do anything you can to make it right for me.”
“I’m glad you learned that, but we’re still going to have asafe word because I don’t want to be careful today. I want to let my beast outa bit, and that means you have to tell me if I’m going too far.” That was whenshe realized there was electrical cord in his hands. He held it up. “Startingwith this. Hands behind your back, spine straight. I want your tits thrust outfor me, and tell me your safe word for the day.”
“Ridiculous.” That could be her word because she was gettingridiculously turned on. He was going to tie her up, make her vulnerable.Arousal shot through her at the thought. This was a place only he could takeher to, and she couldn’t wait to be there again. It was frightening, but thatwas part of the sensation. She got to experience it all because he was safe.
Though he didn’t feel safe when he wrapped the cord aroundher wrists. He bound her tight, and then she felt the edge of the ruler againsther backside, reminding her she was completely naked, the afternoon lightstreaming into the office.
She held her breath as he scraped the ruler over her skin,teasing her, and then when she thought he was through, a loud slap filled theair and she gasped as the little pain bloomed over her. Another slap to theother cheek made her pussy clench. She was going to make a mess, but she ratherthought he wouldn’t like the fact that she was thinking about that. It didn’tmatter. It was a problem for not-submissive sex doll Lou.
