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“Does she?” Big Tag asked. “Know what she’s doing that is.From an emotional standpoint.”
Erin sighed. “Yes, she does.”
“I’m not sure about that,” Cooper replied with a grim frown.
Erin sighed. “If this is about the whole ‘Lou loves TJ andTJ strings her along’ thing, it’s more complicated than that. And it doesn’tmatter. I know even at my angriest with Theo, I would have saved his life. Iwouldn’t have been able to live with myself, and I damn straight wouldn’t havebeen able to leave it in someone else’s hands. I lost him for almost two years,Tag. I don’t want that to happen to my son.”
“I won’t let it.” She’d felt the flush of embarrassment gothrough her when Erin had mentioned the unbalanced nature of her relationshipwith TJ, but she shoved it aside. Everyone knew she loved TJ and he consideredher a kid sister. Nothing had changed. It had simply gotten put out in theopen.
And Erin was right. No one else could do this job the wayshe could.
Erin’s gaze went soft. “I know, sweetie. And I also knowyou’re way more competent at this than my son thinks you are. I worry one ofthe reasons he’s held back with you is he doesn’t think you can handle hisworld.”
That made zero sense. “I work for the Agency. I live in hisworld.”
“In a support role,” Theo pointed out.
“I assure you, Lou can handle herself in the field. I made sureof it.” Big Tag sat back, seeming to consider the situation. “Do you honestlybelieve I would put a woman on a team if she couldn’t handle herself?”
She’d had to pass all of Big Tag’s tests, despite the factshe wasn’t normally supposed to go into the field. She was there to do a lot ofthe mental and technological lifting.
Tasha didn’t look up from her screen. “Dad put Lou and Ithrough all the same training as the rest of the team. We’re competent in handto hand and have used all the weapons. Lou’s good with a knife, and she’s excellentat finding weapons in the field. She’s surprisingly creative.”
“Big Tag used to send pretend assassins to keep us sharp,”Lou explained.
Big Tag grinned, a predatory look. “I sent in new hires. Ifthe girls killed them, then they weren’t ready for the job.”
“I know Lou can handle herself,” Cooper said. “But I have toreiterate that this is not what TJ would want. He wants her safe. Look, you’reright. He’s under a couple of misconceptions. He thinks Lou’s job is safer thanit really is. He thinks she simply sits behind a computer and never has todefend herself or her team. I’ve kept up the delusion because I worry what hewould do if he thought she was in actual danger. He can be unreasonable when itcomes to Lou.”
Lou was confused. “He’s Special Forces. I’m Agency. I don’tsee a whole lot of difference. He should know better. We don’t work the wayother teams do.”
“But he’s a young meathead male. He hasn’t gotten the dumbout of his ass yet,” Big Tag explained.
“Really, brother?” Theo shook his head. “What he’s trying tosay is TJ hasn’t learned he has to trust his partner yet. He’s young anduntested when it comes to this. Probably because he’s too afraid to risk losingyou.”
There was only one problem with that scenario. “I’m not hispartner.”
“Aren’t you?” Theo asked. “I know the two of you haven’tgotten physical yet, but you are the constant in his life. You’re all he talksabout. He’s never once brought home a woman to meet his family. He comes toholidays and birthdays with you. When he was first deployed, he made me promiseto watch out for you.”
“He made us all promise that,” Cooper agreed.
A heaviness hit her, a weariness the adrenaline couldn’twipe out. He loved her, just not the way she needed.
Were they both stuck? Was she holding him back every bit asmuch as he was holding her? They’d met and it had felt like her soul found itsother half, but something had gone wrong because the attraction TJ neededwasn’t there. Something essential was missing, some spark that would have littheir lives together. It didn’t mean they had to live in this weird limboforever.
She was taking a step, making dates and plans with peoplewho weren’t TJ Taggart. She’d spent all this time desperately holding ontotheir friendship, but maybe she needed to step away from that, too. Maybe whatthey both needed was a clean break.
After one last sacrifice. One last mission.
“And that’s why I think we should come up with another plan.We know where they’re supposed to meet. We go and follow them back,” Cooper offered.
“I’m going.” She wasn’t about to let Captain America protectthe women. She didn’t need protecting. “I didn’t join this team to be safe.Uncle Ian, Aunt Charlotte, what’s your assessment of my plan?”
“That your father’s going to snipe me,” Uncle Ian said.
“And that it’s the only way to go.” Aunt Charlotte lookedthoughtful for a moment. “I’ve got some calls in, and my sister is working thisfrom another angle. It’s obvious they want something from TJ, and they thinkpulling in one of the women in his life will make him give it to them. Chelseais trying to figure out what he could possibly know. I’ve brought her in as aconsultant, so she has clearance. She agrees that they’ve tried to cover hisdisappearance, which means they want him alive for now. If they don’t know whoLou is, we know we’re not dealing with the top-tier intelligence world.”
“No, we’re dealing with criminals of some kind, andcriminals like to kill and torture people,” Zach countered, looking Lou’s way.“I will support you no matter what, but you need to know going in that you couldget hurt. I know you’re trained and you’ve backed up field agents before, butthis is different. You’re risking a lot for him.”
