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He felt his jaw go tight and he moved in, whisperingdirectly in her ear. “They want to know who The Jester is. I have no idea whatthey’re talking about. I think he’s some kind of arms dealer. They have apicture of me walking down a street in Berlin with him. But I don’t know him,Lou. That picture’s a fake.”
He felt her head nod against his. “Okay. We need to buy sometime, but I know they’re listening. We can’t say anything about you notknowing. We shouldn’t say much at all.”
She was right. And maybe all that crap about no one missingher was just that. Crap. Someone would miss her. If she was alone, Coop wouldcome over to make sure she didn’t need anything. Tristan’s sister, Brianna, wasover there all the time.
Someone would hear Bud whining. Tasha would drop by, and shewould know Lou would never leave the dog by himself.
They had to buy time and not give away the fact that he hadno information to give them.
He would make some up if he had to. He would send them tosomeone who could handle himself. He just had to figure out who that was.
She backed away from him. “I also heard them talking abouthow I’m not your girlfriend and it would have been better to bring Devi in. Iworry if they think I’m not the person to make you talk, they’ll move faster toget rid of me.”
“Do you honestly believe I would let that happen?”
“I don’t know.”
He was overwhelmed and not thinking straight. The lastcouple of weeks had been pretty fucking awful, and he hadn’t had her around tohelp him find his center. They were at a breaking point. He’d tried so hard tokeep his hands off her so he could stay in her life, but all he’d managed to dowas put them in this shitty position. “You are my whole world, Louisa Ward.Girlfriend doesn’t begin to cover how I feel about you. I didn’t think we wereready. I didn’t think I was good enough for you, but that doesn’t matter now. Irealize that. I should have listened to you. You always were so much smarterthan me. They want to know how much they can get me to do if it spares you amoment of pain? I can show them.”
He did what he should have done years and years ago. Heleaned over, ignoring the ache in his muscles, and slid a hand around her neck,holding her still.
Her eyes flared as he stared down at her.
“TJ,” she began.
“Tell me you don’t want me and I can step back.”
“You’re the one who doesn’t want me. You don’t have to dothis.”
“I should have done this a long time ago. I don’t thinkyou’re going to listen to words. I think I have to show you. This might be mylast chance.”
“TJ,” his name came out of her mouth again, this timesofter, a plea, but he didn’t know for what.
To kiss her? To walk away from her? All he knew was shehadn’t told him no, and that was what it would take to stop him. He lowered hislips to hers and attempted to satisfy over a decade’s worth of longing.
Soft. She was so fucking soft. And warm. He let his handsfind her waist and gently explored her lips. He loved her lips. They were fulland plump, and he loved it when she smiled or frowned or pouted. He loved herevery expression, and damn, but he loved how they felt beneath his own. Theworld went fuzzy around him, narrowing down to her. Only her.
He’d always known if he put his hands on her, his mouth onher, his cock in her, that he would be beyond obsessed, and he felt it overtakehim like a wave.
This was it. There would be no going back. If they survived,he would do anything he had to in order to be what she needed him to be. It wasstill a terrible idea and he could lose her, but now, in this place whereeverything was ripped down to its core, he knew he had to try.
He had to have this moment with her. No matter what cameafter.
He would have his one moment with Lou and then he would dowhatever he could to save her. Even if it meant sacrificing himself.
TJ felt the moment she gave over. Her chest crushed againsthis, and her arms went around his shoulders, clutching him like she would neverlet him go.
It was all he needed. He let his tongue surge inside hermouth, drinking in the way she tasted, the silky glide of her tongue againsthis. It wasn’t awkward in any way. This was the opposite. This felt likesomething they’d done a million times, and yet it was new and fresh and alwayswould be.
He kissed her over and over, his brain going fuzzy. Nothingmattered except Lou and the way she smelled and tasted and felt. His handsslipped into the thick, soft waves of hair that brushed her shoulders. Sheusually wore it up, but it was down now, and he played in it, tightening andreleasing to lead her where he wanted her to go.
She followed every cue, moving with him in an effortlessdance.
In the back of his head, he knew this was one of the dumbestthings he’d ever done. They were trapped and needed to find a way out. Theyshould be getting ready to fight their captors.
But he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t not give them this onemoment—not when he’d been the reason they wouldn’t have a lifetime together.
He held her tight against his body. He didn’t care that hismuscles ached and still burned from where the darts had bitten into his fleshas they’d tased him over and over. The pain was nothing more than a reminderthat he was alive in these moments, that he had to make the most of everysingle one.
