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“You heard me. Place that sweet ass of yours over my kneeand we’ll see if spanking does it for you.” His voice had gone deep again, likeit had in the cell. “You know it works for a lot of subs, and don’t tell meyou’re not a sub. When it comes to sex, you are absolutely submissive. It’s whyit didn’t work with those other men. You need a dominant partner when it comesto sex, and a calming influence outside of it. Lucky for you, I’m both. Comeon, Lou. You know you need this. Or we can go for a jog.”
That sounded terrible.
Did she want to go into that meeting as wound up as she was?
It was an actual ache in her chest, and if she did nothingshe wouldn’t be able to sleep because the voices in her head would be so loud,telling her she’d done everything wrong, that if the mission failed it would beher fault, that she would screw everything up and be alone.
She knew it wasn’t real, but those old anxieties never lether down. They were always there unless she found a release valve.
A stupid idea played through her brain. What if he wasright? What if this was exactly what she needed?
“Or I could call my uncle in and get you a session withsomeone,” TJ offered as though it was the worst thing he could think of.
She felt a wave of disappointment go through her. “Can Ihave some time to think about this?”
“What is there to think about?”
“Whether or not we should take on that kind of relationship.I assumed when you basically offered me a session, you would be acting as myDom and not my friend.”
“You want me to…” His brows had risen and then he nodded.“Yes. That is what I meant. As your Dom and not your friend. You need aphysical release to gain an emotional one, and I’m here for you. I don’t thinkwe should wait until we get back to the club, though.”
Now there was something she hadn’t thought about. Theremight be a way out of the chaos. “We could keep it to the club.”
“Seriously? This is where you want to go with this? You wantus to do this thing where we pretend we’re not together outside the club.”
It might be the only way she could handle the situation.“What happens in the club, stays in the club.”
A weary expression came over his face. “Baby, I don’t knowif we’re going to the same clubs, but I can see you need this. Let me see if Iunderstand what you’re offering me. I top you in the club and don’t touch yououtside of it?”
“If I need a session outside of the club, we could haveprotocols for that, too.”
“Do I get to fuck you, Lou?” TJ asked quietly.
God, how could he talk to her like that? How could hisgorgeous mouth be so filthy, and how could she love it so much? “I don’t knowif that’s a good idea.”
“So I do all the work and get nothing that I need?”
She didn’t like the sound of that. “What do you need?”
His eyes were back to that dark, possessive look she’d neverseen before this day, the one that pinned her and made her think twice aboutpushing him aside, the one that made her feel like he was looking at her forthe first time. “I need you. I need you all the time, but you’re going topunish me for being foolish, and I can’t blame you. I have gone behind yourback and pretty much threatened every man who ever looked at you with wretcheddeath if they fucked you over.”
“You did what?”
He shrugged. “I did. I hated the idea that you were withsomeone else, so I made sure they knew what would happen if they screwed aroundon you.”
That brought her to something she’d liked to address withhim. She couldn’t forget what she’d learned. “Like you did with Dennis?”
“Dennis?”
“My prom date.”
A satisfied smile came over his face, like he was recallinga nice memory. “Oh, yeah. Kala and I got that asshole good. I still wish I’druined him. Hey, how did you find out about that? Even back then I was good atcovering my tracks.”
“Because I’m dating him.”
Fire flashed in his eyes but his jaw tightened, and he seemedto take a steadying breath. “That didn’t take long. I guess you meant what youtold me in Australia. All right. Good, then I’ll get to kill him like I wantedto. My folks have a big backyard. It’s waiting for a couple of bodies. You knowit’s not a Taggart homestead if there aren’t a couple of places you’re neversupposed to dig.”
He was doing an excellent job of distracting her from heranxiety since now she was more irritated with him than she was worried aboutthe future. “You can’t do that.”
