Page 50 of Live, Love, Spy


Font Size:  

“Yes. I suspect he downloaded your research, or you sharedit with him.”

“I most certainly did not. I talked to him about it, but Iwouldn’t have shared it.” How many times had Kala saved her over the years?

“TJ made me do it. TJ met him and didn’t like the vibe hegot off the guy. He told me he didn’t know how to keep watch on him, so Ioffered to do it. When I went to Fred, he told me to go fuck myself. Again, Ishowed an enormous amount of restraint. He was good, by the way. He couldprobably work black ops. It takes a lot to stare me down when I get going. Hetold me I would have to prove it and that with what his family gave to thecollege, they would always pick him over you. That was when TJ took over.”

She wanted to be shocked, wanted to be able to tell Kalawhat she’d done was wrong, but it didn’t feel that way. Kala was one of theworld’s predators. She could have gone another way had she not been surroundedby love and parents who taught her to use her instincts to help the peoplearound her. Kala could have been one of the people they hunted, but she chosedifferently, and Lou couldn’t blame her for focusing on the people she loved.TJ was different. TJ was sweet and happy-go-lucky and kind. “What did he do?”

Kala’s lips turned up. “I still don’t know, but I am fairlycertain he only talked to the guy. I think he explained what he would do to himif he followed through with his plans. TJ can be intense when he wants to be,and he is intense about protecting you. I know I’ve been freaked out today, butI’ve thought a lot about it. Like I said, he’s been serious about protectingyou. Even from himself, but something changed today, and I think you met the TJI’ve seen from time to time. I think you met the one who got Fred to back off,the one who dealt with every guy back in high school. The one who goes to clubsyou’re not at and picks petite brunettes every single time.”

She couldn’t buy it. “I was always willing to be with him.”

“But you weren’t willing to fight for him,” Kala countered.“I think today he figured out that you’re strong enough to fight for him. Tofight with him.”

“I don’t want to fight at all.”

“But life is a fight.” Kala’s voice went soft. “You knewthat when you were younger. Before your mom married Boomer and you were stuckat that school, you knew it was all a fight.”

Tears pierced her eyes when she thought about that time. Ithad been her and her mom against the world, particularly against her wealthygrandparents. “You know what’s funny? My biological father was very much likethe guy everyone seems to think I should be with. Intellectual. Ambitious.Focused on his legacy. He wasn’t interested in me at all until I showedacademic potential. He pushed me hard. Even at the age of four. After he diedmy mom was lost and my grandparents took advantage.”

They’d paid for the best private schools, making her motherterrified they would pull the financial funding if she ever stepped out ofline. Lou’s life had been dictated by what her grandmother thought she should do,should be, should attain. She’d been pushed through school, her brainacademically ahead but her emotional state lagging behind.

It had been a fight. Until her mom had found Boomer andshe’d had the support she needed from this amazing family he’d brought theminto.

And then it wasn’t a fight at all.

Because Kala and TJ had fought for her. Without her evenknowing it. “You can’t hide things from me anymore. If you want me to fight, Ihave to know what I’m fighting.”

“I just… You were so young.”

“I’m not now. I know I was young when you took me under yourwing. In some ways, you needed someone to fight for.” Because Cooper didn’twant her to fight for him. Kala needed someone to focus on. Kenzie had wantedher own world, her own friends. Lou had stepped into that place. “Do you haveany idea how much I love you?”

Kala’s head fell back, and her eyes closed. “Don’t.”

“Yeah, I’m doing it because you have to understand that mechanging things up doesn’t mean we change. Except for the whole Lou needs to beprotected at all costs. I’m not a kid anymore. I can handle things. I won’t askyou to not watch out for me. I need that.”

And so did Kala.

“You changing things up means trying this whole D/s thingwith TJ?”

“I don’t know that it’s a good idea.” Because she couldn’tseem to help herself around him, and she couldn’t quite believe he actuallywanted her.

Kala nodded. “Then you’ve made your decision and I’llsupport you. I need to tell him he can’t come over, though. I’m pretty sure hethinks he’s coming back with us.”

Because he always came to their place when he was home onleave. It didn’t make sense for him to rent an apartment, and while he lovedhis parents, he would rather stay with his cousins.

No. That was wrong. He wanted to stay with her.

The idea of TJ not seeing her when he was on leave was… Itleft a kind of hollow place inside her. Was she ready to give it all up? If sherejected him, could they find a way to be friends again someday?

Kala started to stand but Lou stopped her. “Don’t. Tell himhe can stay in the office.”

Kala stared down at her. “Lou, don’t be like him. If youdon’t want him, let him go.”

The world seemed watery all of the sudden. Not want him? Howcould she not want him? The words didn’t even make sense to her. TJ had alwaysbeen the center of her universe.

Or maybe he’d been the easy thing to fixate on because hewas always out of reach. Always sweet and nice, and he made her feel good whenthey were together. She’d halfheartedly tried to kiss him a couple of times andshrugged it off after.

Was she in love with TJ or with the idea of TJ because shenever had to take that scary step with him?

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
Articles you may like