AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter One
Samantha
The late-night call finally came, the one no daughter ever wants to receive: Daddy is gone. After a long battle with cancer, he surrendered to his illness. My father closed his eyes for the last time.
Loss changes us on a fundamental level; I learned this when Mom passed away years ago. Now, years later, I feel this loss deep within, reshaping my core, and shattering me into countless pieces. How many more times can everything break me before there are no more pieces to glue back together?
Childhood resilience mended me before, but this time, resentment may keep me broken. Resentment for the events that led me here, took me from my home and dropped me into a living nightmare. A nightmare that has been going on for almost six years.
Sitting in silence, I grapple with the reality that I’ll never talk to my dad again, hear his deep voice, see his sparkling blue eyes, or feel his comforting embrace. Worse, he’ll never hold his grandchild. He only got to speak to her occasionally. He never got to see her sunny face or her green eyes. I was too afraid to video call; too afraid he’d see the truth in her little face.
I feel like a failure, failing the man who was always there for me, raising me alone for most of my life and providing everything I needed, except my freedom. The last words I spoke to him were in anger. The argument seems so pointless now.
He thought I didn’t want him to be a part of my life- of my daughter’s life. I couldn’t tell him the truth. He couldn’t know the fear that kept me chained here in my hell. I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment on his face when he learned the things I’d done to survive this life. It’s bad enough those things keep me awake most nights.
I wish he had held on tighter, chased me home, changed the course of my life. The strength and resolve he instilled in me as a child has since turned into fear. I live in constant fear of what will happen should I try to leave again. What will happen to Dakota? She’s the only light left in my life.
I was young and naïve when I fled the only home I’d known, unable to face the disappointment of the man who raised me. I could not look into the eyes of the man who irrevocably broke my heart. Six years away hasn’t healed the hurts deep inside me. The time away has only created more scars and more pain. I’m broken and no matter how many times I try to pick up the pieces, jagged edges remain.
“They want to have the funeral on Saturday,” Ellen says over the phone. “Can you make it home in time, sweet girl?”
“I’ll catch the next flight out,” I reply, holding back tears.
“Shane will handle everything.”
“No, I’ll take care of it once I’m home,” I insist.
Shane Walker. Once upon a time, he was what I thought of when I woke in the morning and what I dreamed of at night. All that changed six years ago when he betrayed me in the worst possible way. His choices led to our destruction.
Some things I could have done differently in the last six years. I made choices as well. Unfortunately, they’ve led me here. All I can do is what I feel is best going forward. I’m trying to learn from my mistakes and do better in the future.
My mind runs rampant with memories of Shane’s smile and his eyes. I close my eyes and I can see the ranch, the horses and cows, the watermelon that grows in the summer, and the corn that we would harvest in the fall. I can hear the laughter that always seemed to fill the house when we were all together.
Ideas take shape in my mind. Plans for the future. One away from Savannah and every dark memory that has plagued me for so long. The scars, especially the physical ones, will always remain, but maybe going home again with my baby girl will help me move forward and heal. Can I heal from what led me here, though?
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I whisper, and I let the phone slip from my hand.
A hand grabs me from behind, making me flinch. I know better than to show any fear as he gets off on that sort of thing. When his lips kiss behind my ear, I know I’ve fucked up. “Your fear is so sweet, Samantha.” He whispers in my ear. His voice makes my skin crawl. “It always makes me so hard.”
Nick reaches around and grabs me around the throat, bending my head back so I have to look at him. “Please don’t. I need to book a flight.” I tell him, pulling away from his touch.
“Do You think you’re leaving me?” Nick hisses in anger. “You know better. You’re mine.”
“My father died. I need to go home. It’s only for a few days.” I whimper. Loss and fear are both warring within me.
“You are home,” Nick argues, licking at the tears falling down my face.
“That’s not what I meant. They’re burying my dad on Saturday, Nick. I need to be there.”
He grabs me around the throat, this time squeezing, taking away my ability to breathe. I struggle but it’s no use since he throws me backward on the bed and lays above me, pressing his weight into me to hold me still. He has no worries that I’ll put up a fight. I learned how ignorant that would be long ago. The scar on my chest burns as if in reminder.
“When will they read the will?” He asks.
“I’m not sure.” I gasp out when he lets up just enough for me to answer. “Monday or Tuesday, I’d assume.”
“Hmm. You’ll go bury your father, stay long enough to get what’s yours, and then come back to me. I want to know everything he left behind.”
“But…” I try to speak against him, but he squeezes my throat again.
