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She helped me apply to the local college for remote courses. She went with me to every doctor’s appointment. Meg held my hair for me when I was sick.
At no point did she throw my mistakes in my face. She was the most supportive woman in the world. I like to think that my mom would have been just as supportive if she were still alive.
Meg made me call my dad, explaining that it wasn’t fair to have him worrying about me. He did nothing wrong. When I went into labor, she was right there beside me, coaching me to breathe and to push. Instead of Shane being the first person to hold Dakota after me, it was Meg in his place.
A year after Dakota’s birth, Meg got sick and unfortunately passed away. It devastated me. Not only that, I was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to handle raising a child on my own. That’s when I met Nick.
Nick was so attractive and the complete opposite of Shane. In his expensive suit, he exuded power, but he wasn’t cocky. We hit it off immediately. Within a few months, he had talked me into selling Meg’s house and moving myself and Dakota into his home.
His house was extravagant. He’d bought an old plantation and had it completely redone. The outside was still old-world, while the inside was all clean lines and modern. The kitchen could put some of the world’s most famous restaurants to shame.
I finished my degree, but Nick had said he preferred I didn’t work. He wanted to take care of us. I missed home. I missed Shane, and every time I thought of him, I was more determined to stay with Nick. If he took care of us, I never had to go home. I never had to see Shane again.
Once Dakota was old enough to sleep through the night, things changed. Nick changed. Or rather, his true colors bled through. He fired the house staff, and I was to take their place. He expected dinner on the table at a certain time every night. The house was to be spotless.
Between taking care of Dakota and doing what needed to be done around the house, it exhausted me all the time. Nick didn’t seem to care. He would get upset if things weren’t exactly for his specifications. If I complained I was tired, he’d grab me and shake me.
Then came the sexual stuff. I wasn’t ready to be with him that way, but I owed him. At least that’s what he said.
It started with oral; him teaching me how he liked it. When that wasn’t enough anymore, he moved on to the actual deed. At first, it was even enjoyable. He made sure that I came before he did. After some time, he didn’t care at all anymore.
If I denied him, he’d tie me up and force himself on me. When Dakota was four, the parties began. There were never any other women that showed up, only men.
Nick hired a nanny so that they did not burden me with caring for a child when he needed me by his side, looking pretty. He bought me expensive dresses and jewelry. I was stupid to feel special from his attention.
The parties were more like business meetings. They did not speak business in front of me, too busy grabbing me and fondling me. The first time he offered an associate an hour with me, I was livid and told Nick that was not who I was. The beating I took for standing my ground had me laid up in bed for a week.
Every time after, Nick would tell me, “If you deny the men I choose for you, I can always go get Dakota. I’m sure they’d pay well to break her in.”
I knew he was serious. He was that sick, so I went without a fight. Nick gave the men permission to use me and do what they wanted so long as they didn’t touch my face. It reserved my face for Nick’s pleasure.
I tried several times to leave. I wanted out but learned quickly that Nick would not willingly let me go. He’d kill me first.
When it got bad enough to warrant a hospital visit, they would beg me to talk to the police and I would always decline. I ran through a door or I slipped and fell down the stairs. I gave them any excuse I could to protect Dakota, who was always home with Nick, not far away.
If I left the house to shop or for Dakota’s doctor’s appointments, I was never alone. Nick always had someone go with me. I never knew what business he was in, but I knew it had to be bad. He could have been a mobster for all I knew. I’m pretty sure he had killed before and he wasn’t afraid to do it again.
I was his property. Nothing more. Nothing less. I didn’t have any money. What I made from the sale of Meg’s house, Nick added to his coffers.
The only money I saw was what Nick provided for me to get groceries. Even that didn’t happen often. Nick preferred for everything to be delivered. Probably because of the bruises that seemed to always mark my flesh.
The one thing Nick let me do was call my dad weekly. I think it was more so no one would question where I was. Nick always refused to let me video call.
That’s when I found the makeup that would cover any marks on my face. I needed to see my dad occasionally. I begged for days before Nick finally gave in and agreed that I could video chat with my dad so long as I wore makeup and never spoke a word about what was going on within the house.
I watched as Dad got sick. I could see how much the cancer was taking out of him every time we spoke. When it got to where the nurse had to hold the phone for him and he couldn’t say but a few words, I knew it wouldn’t be long.
I prepared myself for the inevitability that he was going to die. Yet, I never went home. Not in all that time. Not until now.
Gravel crunching causes me to turn my head to the side, tears sliding down my face. I didn’t even realize I was crying again, so lost in my musings I was.
I can only see a tall and broad silhouette before the fire from the pit lights up Matt’s face. He has an equally angry and sad look on his face as he takes me in, and then the bottle now lying on the ground empty. Did I drink the rest of the bottle? Oops.
“Can I sit?” He asks, hesitantly.
I don’t have the energy to speak, so I just nod. He takes the seat beside me. Matt can always read my moods, so he doesn’t speak. We just kind of laze there on the chairs watching the flames dance in front of us.
The tears don’t stop falling down my face. Matt huffs before moving his chair as close as he can get it to mine. He lifts me from my position and sits me across his lap, wrapping his arms around me.
