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While Shane has just started looking at me as a woman, he has always fascinated me. What used to be a nagging feeling of frustration for how brash and ungentlemanly he was has morphed into something I can’t quantify. I want him with a desperation that scares me sometimes. Just being near him riles me up for completely different reasons now.
I used to hear the girls talking in the bathroom about Shane and his prowess. Recently, there’d been no rumors of that effect. Instead, the rumor was going around that Shane was dating someone. That was the only explanation the girls had to explain why he wasn’t ruining them for other men.
Jealousy had me rushing to find out about this girl. I didn’t know why I was jealous. I wasn’t interested in Shane. Not like that. We were friends. There was a point in time when I thought my dad would adopt him and make him my brother. Just thinking about that sends a small shiver of revulsion through me.
“Samantha. We can’t do this,” Shane explains in that tone of his that brooks no argument.
“You should have thought about that before you kissed me,” I argue. “Please, Shane. I want you.”
“I want you too, pretty girl, but we can’t do this. What about your dad?”
“Doesn’t have to know,” I say, stretching my neck to reach his lips.
Shane sighs, pushing away from me. I stand there, back to the wall, panting. Shane runs his hand through his hair as he paces. “Samantha, this isn’t right. I’m too old for you.”
“Bullshit. Stop making fucking excuses. I’m sixteen.” I huff.
“You’re illegal. And even if you weren’t, you’re off limits. Your dad would kill me.”
“You’re being dramatic,” I tell him in a sassy voice. I go to reach for him, but he dodges my touch. “So what, you want to wait until I’m eighteen to be together?” I ask, confused.
“Yes.” He tells me. “Exactly. We can’t do this now, but once you’re old enough and not living on the ranch, we can be together.” He tries to placate me.
“And until then, what? We live together. We see each other every day. Am I supposed to sit back and watch as you bring woman after woman through to the barn when you want to get laid? What if you decide I’m not what you want?” I ask, tears now brimming in my eyes. “Are you really okay with me dating and going to prom with someone else while you sit at home constantly wondering what I’m doing with my date?”
That seems to get his attention, and not in a good way. He storms over to me and places his hand on my throat. He lets it rest there as he looks deep into my eyes. “If I catch another guy so much as look at you like he wants you, I’ll kill him. Do you understand me? You. Are. Mine.”
His mouth takes mine hard. His tongue fights for entry. I wrap my arms around his neck and he grabs my legs, lifting me until I’m pressed against the wall again, my legs automatically wrapping around him. Any second, I expect him to push me away again. We’ve been doing this dance for a couple of months now.
When he doesn’t release me, I pull back. Breathing heavily, he places his forehead against mine. “Fuck. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I shouldn’t want you, but I do. This is so fucking wrong, but I can’t find it in me to care.”
He kisses me again. He takes his time, our tongues dancing together lazily. God, the way he makes me feel is unreal.
“We have to be careful. If your dad finds out, that’s it for me. I’ll lose everything.” Shane whispers.
“He won’t find out. And even if he did, you wouldn’t lose everything. You wouldn’t lose me. I’m yours, Shane. Always.” I promise.
It was a promise I couldn’t keep.
Chapter Six
Shane
Just as I thought, Samantha tries to make excuses to get out of the conversation that’s been a long time coming. I can’t let it go, though. Maybe I should. Perhaps I should give her a reprieve until after the funeral. I wish I could get it all out of my mind to give her that, but it doesn’t work that way. I’m owed an explanation.
The guys have barely spoken to me and I don’t know why. Ellen and Manuel look at me like I’m a bomb just waiting to blow. For that reason alone, Samantha and I need to talk and clear the air.
It’s bad enough that she hurt us all when she left. I won’t let her hurt my family again. And that includes my daughter. I didn’t know she existed, but now that I do, I’ll do everything in my power to protect her.
After dinner, I ask Ellen to put Dakota in the bath. Samantha wants to protest but smartly decides against it. I tell her to follow me and then I lead her to the barn, making it clear to the guys that they should find somewhere else to go for a while. When they just nod quietly, I know they’re pissed.
Are they afraid I’ll hurt Samantha? They know me better than that. At least, I thought they did.
“Water?” I offer as Samantha follows me through the foyer into the open area of my home.
“No.” She responds, quietly.
I sit on the sofa and motion for her to sit beside me. She looks at the seat, her face paling before she takes a seat across the table from me. “Is that a horrible thought to sit with me while we talk?” I ask. She says nothing, just stares at me. I sigh long and loud and throw my head back. “Did you know?” I ask.
