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“Penny for your thoughts.” I offer, just like I did ages ago.
Samantha turns her head and looks at me. She sighs. “It’s nothing that needs to be talked about right now. Let’s just get through this meeting.”
“Are you sure? Pretty sure I’m a good listener.” I lie.
I’ve never been good at listening, though I did better at it with Samantha. I always wanted to hear what was on her mind. That is apparently something that hasn’t changed. I want to know what’s got her thinking so hard.
“You’re full of shit.” She accuses with a giggle. “That’s why you stayed in trouble all the time.”
I chuckle. “You’re not wrong.”
Samantha turns away and goes back to the trees. I continue driving into town. The attorney’s office is right off the main street.
It doesn’t take long for us to get there. I jump out of the truck and rush around to the passenger side. Samantha seems surprised when I open her door and offer her my hand. She takes it reluctantly and I help her down.
Her hand is warm in mine, and a thrill runs up my spine as our skin touches. I hold on a little longer than appropriate. I don't know what's gotten into me. I'm supposed to hate Samantha, not supposed to feel everything I am at this moment.
Finally, Samantha pulls away. She turns toward the building. After taking a deep breath, she pushes forward through the glass office door.
I’m not sure what to do with the information the attorney gave us. Honestly, I thought it was a joke. I even laughed as the attorney read the will out loud to us. Leave it to Wayne to fuck us over royally, even from beyond the grave.
To sum it all up, Wayne left everything to Dakota. Everything! He made Samantha and me equal guardians over the property until Dakota came of age. Then our daughter can do whatever she wants with it.
Twelve years. Twelve long years of living near and working with Samantha while raising our daughter. How is that supposed to work? Am I supposed to have lost Samantha six years ago just to watch her build a life without me? I’d rather poke my eyes out with a hot poker.
She’ll find someone. She’s too perfect not to. And the will has a clause that, regardless of anything else, we must raise Dakota on the ranch. Together. How Wayne even knew she was mine and that Samantha and I were technically married is a mystery.
But somehow, the attorney had copies of the marriage license and Dakota’s birth certificate, which lists me as the father. Considering the situation when Samantha left, it surprised me to see my name there under the spot for father. It would have been less surprising if they listed the father as Satan himself.
Wayne didn’t seem to care if we stayed married or divorced and moved on to other people, so long as we both understood that we must raise Dakota together. It’s karma. It has to be. Is it payback for causing Samantha to run? And if so, is it also payback for Samantha staying gone?
Fuck my life. What am I supposed to do? I can’t live next to Samantha every day. She’s only been back a couple of weeks, and I’m in a continuous battle between staying mad at her and pushing her up against the nearest surface so I can remind her of who I am. Of who we used to be.
I want to remind her what we had once upon a time. My body craves her like a drug. I thought I was past this, but I’m still addicted. Her smell of strawberries and vanilla beckons to me. I want to lose myself in her body until all is right in the world again.
I have to keep telling myself that while what I did was wrong, what she did was worse. She ran away, and she did so knowing she was taking my kid with her. Do I love Samantha? To this day, I do.
Sometimes love isn’t enough, unfortunately. How can we rebuild what we shared when we would build on a foundation of sand? We are no longer rock solid like we used to be.
“How did it go?” Oli asks as soon as I get back to the barn.
I laugh so hard my stomach hurts. Oli looks at me like I’ve finally lost my mind, and maybe I have. I hand him my copy of the paperwork. He reads it for a few minutes and then he too bursts into laughter.
It must be really fucking hilarious to him because Oli does not laugh. Never. When he finally stops, I can see the tears running down his face. “This shit is genius!”
“It’s fucking torture. What the fuck did I do in my former life to deserve this sort of torture?” I ask.
“You fucked a slut and got caught. Then you’ve continued fucking her for six years.” Oli laughs again.
“I didn’t know what I was doing, and I’ve told you I don’t remember any of it.”
“Doesn’t excuse it, though. And it doesn’t make you feel any better, either.”
“No, it makes me feel like a major asshat.”
“Do you regret it?”
“Which part? Samantha? Never. Regardless of the messed up situation, I have a beautiful daughter that I love already. If you’re talking about Autumn? I regret every fucking second I spent with her. I should have let her kill herself.”
