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Oli spends the next hour explaining his comment. He notes the way she looks at me. How she hasn’t chopped my dick off yet.
By the end of the conversation, he has me believing there may still be a chance for Samantha and me. I just don’t know if I want it.
Who am I kidding? Of course, I want it. I just don’t know if it’s worth it at this point. Not when there’s a chasm between us the size of an ocean. Not when I don’t know if I can ever forgive being separated from my child for so long.
No. As much as I’d like to turn back the clock, it’s impossible. There’s too much baggage, too much distrust. I just have to figure out how to survive Wayne’s will stipulations. If I can’t do that, I’ll leave.
Things were different when I thought Samantha was what stood in the way of me and holding on to the one thing that brought me back from the brink all those years ago. I won’t ever try to take my daughter’s legacy away from her. No. I’ll do everything I can to support her and build this place up to sustain her for many years to come.
But I can do that while not residing on the ranch itself. There are plenty of places for rent or sale in the area. Hell, I could start my own damn ranch if I really wanted to. I don't want that, though.
What would a life not living on the property look like? I'd see Dakota all the time still but I want to be the dad that tucks her in at night. To be able to read her stories, and hold her when she's scared. I want to wake up most mornings and make pancakes with her.
There's no way I can leave the ranch. I'll deal with anything to be with my daughter. Even if that means turning away when Samantha decides to find another man to love.
Chapter Eleven
Samantha
What the hell was Daddy thinking, leaving all this to a six-year-old? And then leaving me and Shane as guardians of the ranch until she comes of age. I don’t know a damn thing about running this place. Don’t get me wrong. I know the basics. But actually running this place and making it profitable is beyond my scope. Perhaps that’s Shane’s job.
I’ve noticed changes on the ranch since I got home. There’s no way Dad put all that in place without a push. Shane used to talk about things that would bring the ranch into this century. Did he do all of this? I would have asked, but Shane looked like his world ended when the clauses of the will were read. Is it really that bad?
He could walk away. Half the ranches in the state would probably take him on. He could go back on the circuit. I don’t know if he can bull-ride anymore, but surely he could train the future competitors.
Dad’s will was clear. If Shane leaves, we have to sell the ranch and donate all the money to some charity I’ve never heard of. Shane and I must work together to raise Dakota and keep the ranch running for her sake. At least Dad kept his sense of humor.
For me, personally, I don’t care so much about the ranch. Yes, it will always be home, but I never wanted this life. It’s not about me, however. It’s about Dakota and her future. I will always sacrifice for her. Will Shane?
There’s so much he and I still need to discuss. It seems the shit keeps piling up. I don’t even know how Shane feels about all this. About us.
Even if he doesn’t want me, will he still stick around for Dakota? Will I have to watch while he gallivants with Autumn right under my nose? Or will there be other women he spends time with?
My heart fractures at the thought of Shane finding someone he wants to spend forever with. Nope. Not going there. Shane’s forever belongs to me. He just doesn’t know it yet.
In the back of my mind, I think about Nick. The fear of him actually coming for me never fully leaves me. Would he, though? I have nothing he wants. And I don't have enough knowledge about the shit he was involved in to share the information. I don’t even know the names of the men he forced me to entertain.
We’re safe here. Safer than we’ve been in years. Though my heart may not be safe from being ripped to shreds again. Is going after Shane a risk I’m willing to take? What if things really are over between us? What if Shane doesn’t want me anymore?
Can I stand to give him a divorce? I don’t know. For six years, I didn’t even think about the fact that we were still married. Being home and hearing Shane speak the words out loud brought it all back to me.
“Marry me?” Shane whispers as he pumps in and out of me. I smile up at him and am about to laugh when he thrusts hard, stealing the sound before it can ever leave my lips. “I’m serious, Sunshine. Let’s spend the rest of our lives together.”
I look deep into his eyes, thinking he’s lost in a haze of lust. I couldn’t be more wrong. He’s looking at me so earnestly. I reach up and palm his jaw. He stills, waiting for me to say something. “Yes,” I whisper, giving him the answer we both want.
The rest of our time together is a blur of fucking, our bodies and souls becoming one. I don’t need that piece of paper to tell me what I already know. Shane Walker is mine forever. I gave him my heart a long time ago. I just didn’t realize it until recently. He once owned just a piece of me. Now, he owns all of me.
A few short weeks later, I’m laughing as Shane bustles me into his truck. I don’t have a clue where we’re going. Dad thinks I’m going away with Brianna. I’m not sure what Shane told the guys. All I know is that we couldn’t wait to get married and we couldn’t do it in Rush Springs. The whole town would have known and Shane’s afraid of what Dad would do. I can’t blame him. I’m a little concerned myself.
“Where are we going?” I ask when Shane pulls out on the freeway.
“It’s a surprise.” He says with a huge smile on his face.
A surprise is an understatement when two hours later we pull into a luxurious resort and casino. I’m not old enough to gamble, so I’m a tad disappointed until I see the inside of the place. It’s beautiful. From the dark wood and grey accents to the gigantic bed and the comfortable-looking sofa, the suite Shane reserved for us is amazing. He booked us appointments at the spa for massages. He even planned something special for me, though he won’t tell me what it is.
“We have a reservation for dinner at eight,” Shane informs me, as he pulls clothes from his bag. “I’m going to jump in the shower.”
“Want some company?” I ask coquettishly.
