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“He’ll hurt Mommy if I tell. He told me he would.”
Not sure what’s going on, but not wanting to upset Dakota anymore, I tell her she doesn’t have to tell me. I won’t ever force her. But Samantha is a different story altogether.
Once I have Dakota back at the house and playing a video game with Matt, I go in search of my wife. I find her in the music room Wayne had built for her after she left.
“We need to talk,” I say as I close the door behind me.
Samantha startles at the sound of my voice. I give her a minute to get herself under control before I say again, “We need to talk.”
“Yes. I heard you the first time. What did you want to talk about?”
Samantha fidgets in her seat. She keeps looking at the door I now lean on. Is she realizing she’s trapped? There’s no escaping this conversation.
“What the fuck have you had our daughter involved in?” I ask, my teeth grinding together.
“Huh?” Samantha asks. She was expecting to talk about something else.
“Who are the bad men? Dakota said you needed protection and then wouldn’t say anything else other than she couldn’t tell me because he would hurt her.”
When Samantha stays silent, I look at her face. She won’t meet my eyes and she’s still fidgety. “Samantha, who would hurt her?”
“I can’t do this with you.” She says.
“Bullshit!” I yell.
Samantha’s head jerks up, her eyes wide. She looks at the door as if someone will come running in at any second.
“This room is soundproof,” I advise her. “Nobody can hear the conversation.”
Samantha looks almost relieved. I walk over and take a seat next to her. “Talk to me Sunshine. You’re safe here.”
“Pfft,” she says, “Am I? Is Dakota?”
“Yes. I won’t let anyone hurt you or our little girl.”
“Only you right?”
“Only me what?” I ask.
“Only you can hurt us.” She replies.
“Seriously, Sunshine. I didn’t even know what was happening. Are you going to hold that over me forever? Is this what I have to look forward to for the next twelve or more years?”
“I don’t know, Shane. Maybe. You may not have known what was happening. Perhaps you were drunk or even high from the pain meds. Maybe you’re lying about not knowing. I don’t know.” Samantha takes a breath. “What I know is that for me, it happened yesterday. Every time I look at you, I see her. I see our whole life together blow up right in front of me.”
“I don’t know what to do. We have to work together, for Dakota’s sake. You know that. At some point, you’re going to have to forgive me.” I say.
“Have you forgiven me?” She retorts.
I can’t answer that question. If I say yes, I’d be lying. If I say no, she’ll think I’m not trying. And I am trying so hard to move on from all of it.
I just want to raise my daughter. If I can do that alongside her mother, that’s what I want. It’s what I’ve always wanted.
Samantha has always been the end game. I’m man enough to admit, if only to myself, that I still want her. I still want to be with her.
“Let’s not do this right now. I need to feed Dakota.” Samantha says, rising from her chair.
As she walks out the door, I curse. “Fuck.” She did that on purpose. She got me distracted, so she didn’t have to answer my original question.
