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Resigning myself to dinner, I climb out of the cab of the truck and head to the barn-turned-house I’ve lived in since I turned eighteen. I need to shower and dress before I face Samantha and my past.
How do you prepare yourself for a reunion with the past? Especially one that deep down, you've never gotten over. What if it's a past you'd give anything to go back to?
Standing under the spray of water, I let it wash away everything, including my thoughts of the reunion I’m facing in a few brief minutes. I stand under the water until it turns cold. The chill seeps into my bones, causing my leg to ache.
That ache that runs from my hip to my knee sends me spiraling into a memory I’d rather not revisit.
I’m up next. They moved the bull into the chute, awaiting me. I can see my future spread out ahead of me. After today, everything will change.
All I have to do is hold on and make it to that eight-second mark, past it if I can. Once I do, the professional circuit is waiting for me. The only thing that could make it better is if Samantha were here. I’d give anything for her to be in the crowd watching.
I understand her absence, though. She’s doing something important as well. It sucks that her interview with Oklahoma State fell on the same day as this ride.
Of course, Wayne wouldn’t let her go off on her own, so she took Matt and Oli with her. As I scan the crowd, I see Autumn and Brianna sitting in the front row, looking excited.
Manuel motions for me. I climb up onto the bull, wrap my hand in the riggin’, and give what’s called a cowboy nod to the judges. The chute opens and the bull, as expected, rushes into the middle of the ring.
It doesn’t take long for me to realize that something is seriously wrong. As the flank strap digs into the stomach of the bull, he bucks.
I try to get my hand up in the air or I won’t get scored. My feet slip from the stirrups and I fly into the air. My body goes forward and I rip myself backward to prevent getting hung up on his horns.
When I hit the flank of the bull I pull, trying and failing to get free from the ropes, but my foot gets caught in something. The flank strap has come loose and wrapped around my ankle. The bull continues to buck and run, no happier to have me hanging off his brawny body than I am.
I feel something on my shoulder give and my hand comes free. My body is now dangling and dragging on the ground. I can’t move my right arm, but I work hard to bend forward, reaching with my left hand toward where my ankle is stuck. With one more buck, I’m slammed to the ground, and the bull comes down on my free leg.
Even with the noise from the crowd and the pickup men trying to distract the bull, I hear the bone in my leg snap. The pain is excruciating and I black out.
I’m not sure for how long, but when my eyes reopen, I’m being loaded onto a stretcher and rushed into the back of an ambulance. A hand grasps mine. I can barely make out Autumn as my vision blurs from the pain still taking over my body.
“Pushing morphine.” I hear the EMT say before everything goes black.
When I wake next, I’m in an unfamiliar room, a steady beep letting me know that I’m in the hospital. I don’t know how much time has passed. My leg feels heavy and my right arm is in a sling.
Wayne and Manuel sit in chairs against the far wall. Autumn sits in a chair directly beside the bed. Manuel narrows his eyes on her but doesn’t say a word. I’m not sure what the look means.
When the men realize I’m awake, they both stand. Wayne steps over to the bed. He looks down at me, laying his hand on my knee.
“How are you feeling?” He asks.
“Like I got hit by a big truck,” I respond.
“Might as well have, son,” Wayne tells me. “Do you remember what happened?”
I do, so I nod. “I do. Was it as bad as it felt?”
“I think we should wait for the doctor. I’ll go grab him.” Manuel says from where he stands. I watch him walk out into the hall.
I want to ask about Samantha. Does she know what’s happened? Is she ok? I can’t ask though. Wayne doesn’t know about me and his daughter. I surmise he wouldn’t be too keen on the idea of us dating, so I keep my mouth shut.
Manuel returns a few minutes later with the doctor. After listening to his explanation of what happened and the damage that was done, I’m told that I’ll be in the hospital for a couple of days before I’m sent home. I’ll be in a cast for the next six weeks and in intensive physical therapy for months after.
I’ll be lucky to walk again, but my career in the wild ring is over and I’ll never ride a bull again. I now have pins and screws holding my leg together in four places, from my hip to my knee. What will I do now?
I only dislocated my shoulder, so they could pop it back into place. The doctor recommends I do therapy for it as well. He doesn’t want the muscles to atrophy after being in a sling for several weeks.
Not long after the doctor visits, Wayne and Manuel leave. They wanted to give me time on my own to let it all sink in. Autumn, however, stays.
She refuses to leave me alone. While it’s frustrating at first, I’m thankful for the company. Autumn lets me vent my heartache. She doesn’t offer platitudes or advice. It’s a little refreshing.
