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“Probably your big lawyer brain getting in the way. Speaking of your lawyer brain, I have news and an offer I would like you to consider.”
I wondered if his offer fell in line with my thoughts of late… staying at Rawhide and continuing to teach. The Ranch and its people, not just the staff, but everyone, were a welcome balm. The wide-open spaces offered me time to think without the rush of decision-making that New York pressed upon me.
And it wasn’t just me who seemed to be relaxing and calming down in Big Sky Country, but also Harmony.
“Your extensive education can offer Rawhide University a more diverse course study. There is so much you can offer us, so I’d like to offer you a full-time position. One of our professors is leaving us and you could easily fulfill his course load, and your own.”
His offer was exactly on par with what I had been thinking. “Can I have a few days to mull it over? I never considered teaching full-time as my calling. But teaching keeps knocking on my door.”
“Take a week to decide, Gray, then I will have to go searching for a replacement if you decide not to stay with us.”
I stood and shook his hand. “It’s a great honor to be part of Rawhide, and I don’t take your offer lightly. Thanks for your help today, Derek, I appreciate it.”
He walked me to the door. “You are always welcome, and I’m glad I could help.”
My mind was laden with multiple scenarios. I laid out the best and worst if staying, and the best and worst if I left. My primary problem was my education. Not using it after working so hard to be in the top 5% seemed like an insult to all those 5 am study periods.
Opening a practice did not have to be in New York as originally planned, but I also wouldn’t be practicing here at Rawhide or even nearby in Porters Corner, as there was a resident lawyer in place already. Country law with land disputes and divorce cases was not calling to me.
I decided on a walk around the lake to ponder the plethora of possibilities when I saw Harmony walking toward the gated entrance of Rawhide. Checking the time, I knew she had a free block. What was the little minx up to? I followed discreetly behind until I saw her knocking on the door of the security shed and breathed a little easier. She was seeking a visit with Jacob.
I’d been keeping her all to myself, and a visit with the only family member talking to her seemed appropriate. I made my way toward the lake from there and found a spot in the sunshine. Leaning back with my hands behind my head, I closed my eyes, enjoying the spring heat on my face.
I played through various scenes, but the bottom line was Harmony. I wanted her with me and ultimately, her needs and wants would play in my decision. I was more than aware that as the Dominant in our duet, she would look to me for leadership and allow me to make the final decision.
I saw us here, together, but did she? With the days getting longer, there was an opportunity to take her up the mountainside again and have our conversation while looking at a landscape that stretched as long as the eye could see.
Set with my plans, I headed back to the residence and found Harmony pacing in my apartment. The contentment I’d been feeling dissipated immediately when I saw her tear-streaked face.
“What did he say to you?” I demanded.
She looked genuinely confused as she threw her arms around me. “Who, Daddy? What did who say?”
“Jacob. I saw you knock on his door. Who else could it be?”
She pulled away to gaze up at me. “It wasn’t Jacob, Daddy. It was, well I guess it was, but no, it was my parents. They know where I am,” she whispered. “His parents… well, it wasn’t a secret. I never said it was.”
Her continued short outburst of words told me she was very stressed about whatever was going on, and if I was going to make any sense out of her words, I’d better calm her down first.
I tugged her to my chest and scooped her up.
“This is not the time.” She kicked her legs trying to break free of my grasp.
“Relax,” I said when I dropped onto the couch with her on my lap. “I just want to help you breathe and calm down first so we can have a rational discussion.”
In one hand she gripped the rock, while the other was squeezed into a fist. “Breathe with me, babygirl. Come on, in… and out… that’s it. Slow your breathing. Remember what Sam said, breathe in for five… good girl, now hold it for a count of eight and slowly breathe out.”
Harmony repeated the anti-anxiety breathing Sam had taught her, but she had to do it two more times before her body visibly relaxed.
“That’s my girl, now just breathe here and relax.” I held my hand on her tummy, encouraging her to breathe into it. Sam had taught us that belly breathing was the fastest way to relaxation.
A few minutes later, when her pulse had finally slowed down to a regular beat, I asked. “Can you tell me what happened now, babygirl?”
Harmony pulled her head off my shoulder and shifted. Her expressive eyes latched onto mine like a lifeline.
“Okay. I went to visit my cousin, as you saw. And it was nice, you know, we caught up, and he asked me how things were going.”
Her eyelashes fluttered, and she gulped as if trying to dislodge a blockage. Whatever she was about to say was hard for her. I reached for her hand and held it in mine, gently circling my thumb over the back.
