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Xolani made a sour face. “You remind me of my exes.”
“That’s not good.” Barry asked, “I hate to ask, but how do I remind you of your exes?”
“I’ve only had two long-term relationships,” she explained. “The first relationship was in high-school and was with a guy who got along fantastically with girls. All his friends were girls.”
She went on to explain that at first she thought that it was a sign that he understood women and would treat her right. She was wildly wrong.
“We dated all the way until I went to college,” Xolani said. “Then one day a stranger sent me a video.”
It was a video of her boyfriend getting railed by another guy.
Barry gasped. “He was gay?”
“As gay as pink champagne.” Xolani laughed and shook her head. “I’m shocked I didn’t see it. That’s why he was more comfortable around girls and had no male friends. That’s why he kept claiming to be waiting until marriage yet had thongs stuffed in the back of his underwear drawer. I was just his beard. The same goes with my second boyfriend.”
Barry’s jaw dropped. “He was gay too?”
“I wish. He was comfortable with women too, but in a different way.” She related, “Number Two had a female childhood friend who was his best bestest friend in the world, but nothing more. He claimed that there was absolutely nothing going on between them and there never would be. She wasn’t even his type. She was like a man to him… a brother even. Well, Number Two went ahead and had twins on me with his brother.”
“Oomph!” Barry jerked backward with the impact of the revelation. “That’s wild.”
“Ain’t it though?” Xolani laughed. “I sure know how to pick them.”
“Okay, we’ve established that both your exes were douche-bags.” Barry asked, “But why am I in the same club as them? I’ve never cheated on anyone.”
“It’s not about the cheating.” She clarified, “It’s the overfriendliness with women who are not their girlfriends.”
Barry protested, “I’m not overly friendly with women.”
“Aren’t you?” Xolani cocked one eyebrow. “The stories I’ve heard say different.”
“What stories?” Barry was outraged. “Where did you hear these stories? Who’s telling these stories?”
“I won’t say where or who, but I can tell you what I heard.” She revealed, “I heard that two girls who work at the restaurant next door fought over you.”
“What two g_ Okay, yeah. I remember.” He paused before recounting, “There was a fight, but I had nothing to do with it. Both girls had a crush on me or something. They fought over who’d hit on me first. I didn’t even know about it until someone else told me, so I don’t see why it counts as a blemish on my record.”
“Okay, let’s put that cat-fight aside.” Xolani demanded, “Explain the Deena incident.”
‘The Deena incide_ Oh!” The memory rushed in like a flood. He asked, “Are we talking about the lady from General Counsel who was writing fan-fictions about me?”
Xolani’s jaw dropped. “I’m sorry what?”
“I don’t even know Deena that well.” Barry vehemently defended himself. “I only heard about her when her husband came to confront me because he read the raunchy fanfics she wrote about me. He thought there was something going on between us.”
He took a breath before continuing, “The husband was pretty embarrassed when he found out that we were practically strangers. She only wrote about me because she saw me in a meeting and thought I’d make a great character for her book.”
“Okay. Okay.” Xolani was desperate to justify her accusation. “But you can’t explain Misty. She’s always hanging on your arm like you’re her man.”
“That’s just a one-sided crush on her end.” He admitted, “Maybe I haven’t been as firm as I should be with her, but she knows that I’m not interested in her.”
“See, see, see. That’s what I’m talking about. The not being firm. I can’t handle that in another relationship.” Xolani made a face. “One minute you’ll be calling it a one-sided crush, and the next Misty will be sending me selfies of her naked in your bed.”
“That will never happen,” he swore.
“Never say never.”
Barry exhaled heavily. “This is so unfair. I’m being judged over mere misunderstandings. I was just nice to those women, and they took it the wrong way.”
