Page 94 of Fear


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“I didn’t realize I wanted it until it was here. I don’t think I’d hit need yet, but I was close. Thank you for thinking of it.”

Two hours later, she won the chess match, but when I went to set the board up again, she put her hand on mine.

“I’m okay letting this be a draw.”

I looked at her a few seconds. In her mind, the second game should’ve been hers, since she forced me into a forfeit, but legally, we were equal.

If I’d won the arm-wrestling contest, I’d have probably been fine leaving the chess match where it was, but I felt as if I needed to come out top on something.

But there was no guarantee I’d win. None whatsoever. If I lost, it would mean she’d come out on top of two events.

I probably took longer to decide than was polite, but I finally met her gaze and nodded. “Yeah. Okay. I think you’re right, but we still have,” I gauged where the sun was, “about forty minutes until you can leave?”

She nodded. “Go ahead and get a shower, and send Largo in for me to top off while you do. When you’re out of the shower, Largo can get one. Honestly, he’d be fine on his own, but I know you want him supervised when he’s free. I’ll grab a shower once the sun goes down, and then I assume we’ll have company?”

“We might, but we’ll be leaving soon after the sun sets for our table tennis match.”

* * * *

Etta

I was a virgin when the vampire abducted me. I had sex thousands of times in my first six decades of life, possibly tens of thousands, and every single time, I was raped. I didn’t want it, didn’t enjoy it, and it was clearly about them owning me and me being owned. Power over me. Proof of my helplessness.

In my sixth decade after being turned, I had sex with my food and I enjoyed it for the first time. I was on top, riding him, and I loved the power of hurting him while I fucked him, and forcing him to stay hard with my bite.

Eventually, I found a balance, so I could enjoy fucking my food without necessarily hurting them. Once I had a little power and control over my life, I didn’t need to exercise the tiny bit of power I had over the few humans and shapeshifters around me.

But I have never, until this day, not even once — never have I given someone a blowjob when I wasn’t being ordered to or forced to.

I’ve never gone down on a shapeshifter, a human, or a weaker vampire unless a vampire stronger than me ordered it.

But I’d wanted to please my slayer. He’d spent so much time with his mouth between my legs — and his fingers, and his tongue — and I don’t think anyone has ever sucked on my clit until it felt so engorged, so fucking sensitive.

“I’ve never been given a blowjob like that before. I mean, with me on the bottom. It was a new experience for me,” Ryan told me in the car. He apparently keeps a few vehicles in his garage here, and Ruth had brought it down for him. It was another BMW, but it was a small car, with only two doors. When I’d asked about it, he’d said he rarely has to transport people or bodies while in Slayertown, so it suited his needs while at home.

Now, he sounded really uncomfortable, and I supposed he was telling me he usually fucks people’s faces, rather than passively receive a blow job, and I wondered why he was telling me this.

But then I understood. This was different for him, and he was trying to start a dialogue. He wanted me to understand.

I wasn’t sure I was ready to share how this was different for me as well, but it seemed it was time to do, so I jumped in with both feet before I thought about it too much. “I’ve never given someone a blow job when I wasn’t ordered to in such I way I couldn’t refuse, so I suppose we’re kind of having all-around firsts.”

He blew out a breath. “You’re used to either being in charge, or being dominated without choice. I’m used to dominating in a consensual manner. So far, we’ve been equals. Rough sex, with both of us giving as good as we get. I was happy to have the time and privacy to take it slow this morning, but it’s given me pause to consider how it’s so much different than anything I’ve experienced thus far.”

He pulled into a parking lot. “And we need to table this discussion for later. You’ll see Gideon and likely meet some of the kids, and then we’ll head downstairs. I know you’ll be careful around the kids, but I feel the need to say it anyway.”

“Understood. We’ll be alone for our table tennis match? No video or audio feeds?”

“I’ll disable them. We’ll be alone. The room is mostly soundproof. No one will hear us if we speak in normal tones.”

Gideon had multiple classes going at once in a huge gymnasium, large enough to play four basketball games at once. Possibly larger. There was a section for gymnastics, with some pupils doing handstands, and others on the floor stretching. There were four different martial arts classes, led by four people. People were also running laps around the entire room, and I noted someone making a note of times and number of laps as runners passed a checkpoint. And finally, one area was set up with speed bags and heavy bags, with a student at each while Gideon walked from pupil to pupil, giving pointers and encouragement.

Ryan walked to the kids doing handstands, kicked up into one, lifted an arm, and did one-armed push-ups until he was shaky. I counted. Forty-three.

Without coming down, he switched arms and did it again. He managed fifty-four on this side. He went back to his feet and shook his arms. “You need strength in your arms, shoulders, chest, back, and every core muscle to do this. You also need exceptional balance. When you don’t have much time or space to work out, handstand push-ups can’t be beat. I know you think they’re pointless and that your instructors are just being sadistic, making you do them, and maybe that’s part of it, but they’re important. Put in the time and effort to get good at them. Any questions regarding them? Something you saw, or an issue you can’t get past?”

“You did your weak side first?” a girl of about thirteen asked.

“Habit. When I’m working out on my own, I move back to the weaker side and force myself to make up the difference. If I’d been alone, I’d have gone back to my left side and done another eleven.”

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