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I shift uncomfortably. “I don’t know how I can and still be let go.” The words feel so wrong.
She squeezes my hand in reassurance. “I’m sure it will be fine. Niko Leone doesn’t want kids. They’ll just be a liability to him.”
If it gets back to him that I’ve had twins, he’ll suspect they’re his, but I can’t worry about that right now.
"Imagine it, Elena.” Lucia looks wistful. "We can spend our days together raising the twins. We’ll be safe. Giuseppe alreadyagreed to accept you into the family, and I know Luca will take you under his protection as well. Maybe you and he could marry. He could be the father of your children. It would keep them safe from anything Dad or the Abates might try. Or Niko.”
My stomach recoils. A fortified villa in Italy. A Don accepting me into the family. Under their protection. A marriage for family stability and safety, not love. Having someone other than Niko by my side, raising our children. It feels so wrong. It also feels too familiar. Going to Italy with Lucia means moving from one gilded cage to another.
“Is something wrong?”
I stare at her. “It’s not freedom. It’s the same prison, just a new location.”
She frowns. “It’s not like that. I mean, yes, we have to be careful. It’s the world we live in. But Giuseppe is kind?—”
“I’m sure he is. But it doesn’t change the fact that we’re commodities. Pawns."
"There’s nothing we can do to change that. That is the curse of being born to the parents we have. But at least we'll be pawns together."
I should be happy about that. I’ve missed my sister so much. But it doesn’t feel like enough. Guilt grips me because I know it will hurt her.
"Niko told me he’d give me a chance at a new life. A new identity, if I preferred."
Lucia stills. “New identity?”
“It would mean complete freedom." I let the words hang between us, heavy with the weight of their implications.
"From everything?"
I nod.
"Even from me?" The vulnerability in her question undoes me. “Because if you do that, you’ll have to cut us all out of your life. You know that, right?”
"Lucia, I—" My throat tightens. "I don't want to lose you."
"Then don't. How would you survive, anyway? What job could you get that will support two children? How will you live? You’ll be completely alone. Is that what freedom means to you? Being alone?”
Her words plant seeds of doubt in my dream. I’d been trying to learn a skill but never finished my studies. I don’t know the first thing about finding a place to live or even paying bills. Kate was helping me figure that out. But she couldn’t help me anymore if I decided on total freedom. Neither could Lucia. My world feels very small to me, but having to leave the few people I love behind makes it seem like the world would be even smaller. Darker. Lonelier.
"Freedom isn't just about being untethered, Elena. It's also about choosing who you’ll have in your life." Her gaze holds mine.
Choosing. The power in that word roots me to the spot. That’s what I want. Choice. The ability to make my own decisions.
What will it take for you to choose me?
Niko’s words reverberate through my mind. I’ve been offered what I want, but instead of elation, I’m feeling confused and guilty.
That night,sleep doesn't come easily. I toss and turn in the bed next to my sister. If Niko realizes I’m not in his room, he might get upset. But I can’t bring myself to sleep in his bed with him not there.
My thoughts are a jumbled mess. Freedom. Family. Twins. Niko. Choice. If I stay with Lucia or Niko, my kids are condemned to the same life I want to escape. But to leave meanslosing Lucia and Niko. It means being alone in a world that I know I don’t yet have the skills to master.
In the morning, I wake, feeling as lost as the night before. I rise and dress while Lucia still sleeps. I make my way downstairs. Niko said he didn’t want to see me unless I chose him, and while I can’t do that, I’m compelled to see him.
I reach his office, but it’s empty.
“He left.”
I turn to see a young man walking through the foyer. I remember seeing him the day Niko had Donovan bring me to his office to confront me over calling Lucia.
