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“I don’t know.” Tiago’s eyes welled with tears. “I think it was moving into his house. He didn’t even spend the first night there but took off on the day he moved in. He’s struggling with being alone since I came back here and started living with Cas. He’s never had to be on his own before.”
My heart ached for Tiago. The guilt obviously weighed heavily on him. I placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “You can’t blame yourself for wanting to build a life with someone you love. It’s not your fault Tomás is having a hard time adjusting.”
Tiago nodded, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “I know, and he told me as much, but I can’t help worrying about him. I never meant for him to leave.”
“All we can do is be there for those we care about, but ultimately, it’s up to them to find their own path.”
“You’re right, I just… I hope he’s going to be okay.”
“I’m sure he will be, but it may take some time.”
Tiago pressed his lips, then said, “I don’t think our relationship was healthy. Cas mentioned the concept of codependency, and I watched some YouTube videos on it, and it sounded familiar. I know it grew out of love and his concern for me, and I could never fault him for wanting to take care of me, but it wasn’t healthy for either of us.”
“I’m not qualified to make the call if it was codependent or not, but I can see why you’d think that. But if that was the case, even if just a little bit, that means a lot of Tomás’s identity was wrapped up in being your twin and your big brother and caretaker. Now that that’s fallen away, he may be questioning himself and his identity.”
“You talked to him about this?”
I was in a gray area here. Technically, Tomás wasn’t my patient, yet I still didn’t feel comfortable sharing what he’d told me with Tiago. “I’m not sure I should discuss this with you without discussing it with Tomás first.”
“Then please don’t. If he trusts you and talks to you, don’t jeopardize that. He needs someone to confide in. I’m so happy you’ve become friends.”
“I’m not sure friends is the right term.” I shuffled my feet. “Friends with benefits, maybe? We’re sex partners, or however you want to call it. We hook up.”
“He told me. But one doesn’t exclude the other.”
“Not technically, no, but…” How did I put this into words when I didn’t understand it myself? “I’m not sure I could be friends with him. Just friends, I mean. He’s…” I sighed. “Look, I’ve always had a weakness for your brother, and unfortunately, that hasn’t changed. I need to keep my emotional distance, or I’ll end up getting hurt. Again.”
Tiago’s eyes—so much like Tomás’s it sent a shiver down my spine—grew soft. “You’re not interested in more with him? Something long term?”
I snorted. “Something long term? What planet do you live on? Because on the one I inhabit, there’s no scenario where Tomás Banner would ever want something more and long term with someone like me.”
Tiago quirked an eyebrow. “Cas is a contractor, and we work wonderfully well together.”
“Yeah, but?—”
“Are you saying you’re not good enough for him? Or that you’re too good?”
“Neither. Too different. That’s what I’m trying to say. I’m a single dad, Tiago. A constantly tired, endlessly busy single dad who’s been stuck in survival mode for the last five years. I barely have time to sleep, let alone date, and I have so little to offer anyone, least of all your brother, who is… Jesus, I don’t even know where to start. He’s a world-famous model, and I’m a regular guy trying to get through life.”
Tiago now put a hand on my shoulder. “Have you ever seen Notting Hill?”
“With Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts? Yeah, love it. Why?”
“Remember that scene where she visits his bookstore and explains that underneath all the fame, she’s just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her?”
I swallowed, my cheeks heating. “Yeah?”
“That’s Tomás, Fir. He’s just a guy who needs love, like anyone else. Don’t let the outside appearances fool you. You two are not that different where it matters.”
“I’m not… I couldn’t… He’s not in love with me, Tiago.”
“But he could be. That’s all I’m saying. I’ve seen how he looks at you, how he talks about you. He likes you and respects the hell out of you, and I’ve never seen him make such an effort as with you. You matter to him, more than he realizes. Please don’t write him off because of his job and celebrity. If you like him even half as much as I think you do, don’t give up on him.”
Jesus, he knew what to say, didn’t he? But even if what he said wasn’t true, even if Tomás wasn’t interested at all in more with me, I still didn’t want to let him go through this alone. He mattered enough to me to reach out. “Are you okay with me calling him and letting him know I’m aware he fled to London?”
Tiago looked at me with relief in his eyes. “Please do. He could use someone to talk to, and I know he’d love to hear from you.”
“Okay. I’ll reach out to him, but I’m not making any promises. Maybe he doesn’t want to hear from me or talk to me. He had his reasons to leave Forestville in his rearview mirror again.”
