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Angie Robinson was a fortysomething Black woman with a glorious natural afro and warm brown eyes. She also looked like she didn’t suffer any fools, and I liked her on sight.
“So, Tomás, why don’t you start by telling me a little about yourself and why you wanted to talk to me?”
“I hate how this sounds, but do you know who I am?”
She nodded. “Yup, recognized your name immediately.”
“Okay, that makes it easier, so I don’t have to explain that part of who I am.”
“I’m not familiar with the ins and outs of your job, so if that’s relevant, you may need to share some more details, but for now, we’re good.”
“Okay.” Santa mãe de Deus, where did I even start? “I’m not sure how to explain it all.”
“That’s okay. Just start somewhere, and we’ll figure it out together.”
Right. “I think my brother and I have a codependent relationship, and now that he’s in love with his boyfriend and retired, I’m lost without him. I impulsively bought a house in my hometown and realized two days ago it’s somehow become my home without me noticing. Also, I may be developing feelings for a guy I’ve known since we were kids, but I can’t figure it out.”
She laughed. “As summaries go, that certainly seemed to cover the highlights, so we’re off to a great start. Talk to me about your brother. How was your relationship growing up?”
I settled back in my chair and took a sip from my tea with honey. “He was my other half. I didn’t realize until kindergarten that not everyone had a twin brother.” Once I began, I kept talking.
The hour was up in no time, and my voice was a little hoarse from talking so much. “Sorry, I totally word-vomited all over you.”
“That’s part of my job, Tomás, listening to people unburden themselves. And I’m grateful for it because I’ve learned a lot about you.”
“So, on a scale of one to ten, how fucked up am I?”
She chuckled. “Not even a three, I promise.”
“Really? You don’t think my relationship with Tiago was or is unhealthy?”
“I’m not saying that, but the fact that both of you have realized it and are willing to change it is a huge step in the right direction. You obviously love each other and are willing to fight for what you have, and I have no doubt you two will work things out.”
Stupid tears burned in my eyes, and I had to swallow before I could answer. “Thank you. That means a lot to me to hear you say that.”
“Your foundation is solid, making it much easier to build on that.”
“And the rest? Think you can give me advice on how to fix my life?”
“It’s not about fixing because that word implies you’re broken or damaged, and you’re not. You’re feeling lost, and you have things to figure out. I’m not denying that. But you have all the answers you need. All you need to do is ask the right questions to get that clarity, and that’s what I’m for.”
More tears. “When can we talk again?”
21
FIR
A faint headache brewed behind my eyes when I closed the door of my practice behind me, locked up, and switched on the alarm. As much as I hated having to do that, recent break-ins in practices and clinics in the area had shown it was an unfortunate necessity. Desperation made people do things they’d otherwise never consider.
It had already been a long day, and then I’d gotten called back in when a pregnant patient had gotten worried because she hadn’t felt the baby move. Luckily, everything was okay, but I’d encouraged her to call me again if she had concerns. All part of my job as a doctor. We had a few midwives in the region, but the closest one on call had been an hour out, so this had been the easier solution.
And now I needed some time to myself. It was Friday night, and the boys were staying with Samuel’s parents for a week. My father-in-law had picked them up this morning, and he’d drop them off again next Friday. A whole week without my sons. Was it rude to say I was looking forward to it? I’d even taken off myself the next week, eager to make the most out of being child-free for the first time in forever.
When I got to my car, something moved in the shadows, and I startled. “Jesus, Tomás, you scared the shit out of me.”
He stepped forward, looking sheepish. “Sorry. I stopped by your house, but you weren’t home, so I checked here. I saw you walk out and figured I’d wait for you.”
“When did you get back?”
