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The microwave beeped, interrupting my self-admonishment. I took out the steaming meal and sat at the table. Eating alone was a stark reminder of how much I missed Samuel not just as a partner but also as a companion. The ache in my heart deepened. I longed for the comfort and solace he always provided.
“Damn it,” I whispered, tears threatening to spill over. I took a deep breath, willing myself to regain control.
Just as I was about to take a bite of my food, my phone chimed from across the room. Startled, I got up and checked the screen. I didn’t recognize the number, but that wasn’t out of the ordinary, so I answered.
“Fir, it’s Tomás.”
Oh, fuck. “Hi.”
“Erm, I wanted to talk to you about our conversation earlier.”
My heart started racing. Was this about to be round two of being humiliated? “Okay?”
“I’m not sure if I understood correctly what you were asking. I talked to Tiago about it, and he suggested I might’ve misunderstood. Did I?”
It didn’t bother me he’d discussed it with his brother. Considering how close they were, that made total sense. “Yeah, you did.”
He blew out a breath. “So, you weren’t asking me out on a date?” he asked sheepishly.
“No. I was asking you if you wanted a hookup. Sex. No strings attached. Two consenting adults enjoying each other’s company.”
“Ah.” Embarrassment was evident in his voice. “So Tiago was right. Thank you for explaining. I feel like an idiot now.”
My lips curved up in a smile. “Don’t worry about it. I didn’t word it very well. I didn’t mean for any of this to come across as if I wanted a relationship. That wasn’t my intention. We’re both in the same boat—single, gay men in Forestville, which isn’t overflowing with options. So I thought it might be…convenient for us to hook up.”
“Oh.” Silence. “I can understand why you’d approach me. I should’ve asked you to clarify, and I didn’t. I’m sorry I got it wrong.”
“It’s okay.” Funnily enough, it was. My chest felt lighter now that the sense of humiliation was dissipating. “I know you’re not a relationship guy. Your reputation precedes you, as they say.”
“I suppose it does. But I’d pegged you for one, though.”
“Well, I would be if dating was an option, but between running my practice and being a single dad, I don’t have time for socializing. I don’t see how I could fit a relationship into my life without sacrificing something. So for now, sex will have to do. I miss it.”
Shit, why had I added that last bit? Now I sounded like I was desperate.
Tomás cleared his throat. “Have you…had sex since Samuel died?”
“Oh, yes. Just not as often as I want. I’m…” How did I explain this? Should I even try? Tomás was practically a stranger, yet the need to elaborate was strong. Maybe because managing expectations was the smart thing to do after our big misunderstanding. “I like sex. Always have. So not having it regularly is hard.”
That was the best I could do. I wouldn’t go into details about my sex life with Samuel. Not with Tomás. Especially not with Tomás, knowing he’d slept with Samuel as well. That was level ten kind of awkward.
“I can imagine. I…like sex too. A lot. Always had a high sex drive.”
“Same.” At least we were on the same page, but we did have one more hurdle to clear. “So now that we understand each other, what do you say?”
I held my breath, but he didn’t keep me in suspense long. “In that case, let’s do this.”
Holy shit, he’d said yes! “Would next weekend work for you? My sons both have sleepovers with friends, so I’ll have the house to myself. I’m assuming you’re staying with your brother, so that wouldn’t give us much privacy.”
His low chuckle made my belly flutter. “Not what I’d prefer, no. Your house sounds good. You have my number now, so you can text me the best time.”
“I will. Thank you.”
Another deep rumble. “Not sure what you’re thanking me for, since I haven’t done anything yet, but you’re welcome. I’ll see you next weekend.”
He hung up, leaving me with lukewarm pasta and flutters in my chest. I was hooking up with Tomás Banner. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. It wasn’t even the fact that he was a world-famous model. Plenty of men would pay good money to be in my shoes, but that wasn’t the reason for my almost giddy excitement.
I didn’t know Tomás the model. I knew Tomás as the sinfully sexy teenager who’d starred in many of my dreams. He was my first crush, the boy who’d always been out of reach, and to know that in a few days, I’d be doing what I never thought possible was…exhilarating.
