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If Oliver trusted Delton so instinctively, shouldn’t Adar do the same and follow Delton’s advice? He wouldn’t steer him wrong, that much he was certain of.
Before he could talk himself out of it again, he said, “Now that you’re here, angel, there’s something I want to tell you.”
Delton sat up straight.
“Okay,” Oliver whispered.
“Delton and I were talking about this, and he said I should tell you. Not that I ever wanted to keep it a secret from you, not deliberately, but I didn’t know how to say this.” Fuck, he was rambling, wasn’t he? And saying stupid shit, judging by the slight wince on Delton’s face. “The thing is…”
He groaned. How could he even find the words to bring this up? What if he said it all wrong and Oliver got upset?
A warm hand covered his, and when he looked up, Delton was smiling at him encouragingly. “Just say it, Adar.”
Right. Just say it. At least Delton was there in case things went wrong.
He blew out a breath. “I like pain. I like to be hurt. I know this sounds awful, and I’m so sorry. I wish it were different, especially knowing what you suffered, but I can’t help it. It’s how I’m wired.”
Oliver frowned. “Don’t understand.”
“What Adar is trying to say is that he’s someone who finds relaxation and release through physical pain of a very specific kind and in a controlled, safe environment,” Delton said. “He finds pain enjoyable, to a certain degree, provided it is within those boundaries.”
Damn, Delton had formulated that so much better than Adar ever could. The man was a magician with words.
Oliver blinked. “You like pain?”
Adar nodded. “I know it sounds awful and a little sick, but I can’t help it. I’ve been this way for years. A friend used to help me out, but he can’t do it anymore because he found his mates, so now I go to a club in the city.”
“For what?” Oliver still looked confused.
“It’s what’s called a BDSM club,” Delton said. “BDSM stands for bondage, domination, sadism, and masochism. If those terms mean nothing to you, that’s okay. A lot of people aren’t familiar with them. At the core, it comes down to a dynamic of dominating versus submitting, but all in a strictly defined consensual relationship. Some people like to dominate others, and submissives like to obey someone else’s commands. Bondage has to do with tying people up. Sadism is about inflicting pain on others, whether physically or psychologically. And masochism is about enjoying that pain.”
“Like the Murphys?”
Delton firmly shook his head. “No, but I can see how you would come to that conclusion. The key word is consent, Oliver. BDSM requires consent from everyone involved, and it can never come from only one person. You didn’t choose that pain. You were hurt against your will. That has nothing to do with BDSM or with sadomasochism. What Adar craves is to submit himself to a Dominant, a Dom for short, who can inflict the kind of pain he finds pleasurable.”
Oliver turned toward Adar, his eyes wide. “Pain is pleasurable?”
“Not all pain. Just certain kinds. The kinds I choose to get from a Dom.”
“Like what?”
He hadn’t run away screaming, so Adar would take that as a win. At least Oliver was asking questions and trying to understand, right? But now he had to go into detail, and some of that might hit a little too close to home for Oliver. “I don’t know if I should tell you. I don’t want to stir up bad memories for you, angel.”
Oliver held up his hand as a sign Adar should wait, and he did. When Oliver got up and walked away, his heart squeezed painfully. Was he losing him already?
“He’s getting Fallon,” Delton said.
Fallon? Why would he get Fallon?
Fallon looked a bit bewildered as he came over, clearly not understanding either.
“Tell him,” Oliver said and walked away again, taking Fallon’s previous seat.
Wait, what? Adar had no idea what was happening.
“I think he wants us to tell Fallon so Fallon can decide if it’s something that would trigger him,” Delton said.
Ah, okay. That wasn’t a bad idea, actually.
