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Oliver’s throat tightened and pure panic filled him. No-no-no-no, was his voice gone again? Would his mouth refuse to work again and betray him like it had before?
“Oliver.” Delton’s voice was firm. “I need you to look at me, Oliver.”
Oliver’s ears buzzed and everything closed in on him. His lungs seized as he gasped for breath. He wanted to listen, but his body wasn’t cooperating. He wanted to focus on Delton’s voice and obey him, but he couldn’t move. Every muscle in his body tensed, and his hands turned into fists as if he didn’t have any control over them.
Delton said something, but Oliver couldn’t interpret the words. He saw the beta’s lips moving, but nothing got through to him.
He grabbed his throat, wheezing. Air. He needed air. He couldn’t breathe.
Two strong arms picked him up and cradled him against a broad chest. He fought him at first, but when his smell registered, his dragon surrendered. Adar. He was safe.
“Sshh, angel, I’ve got you,” the big alpha whispered, his voice reverberating in his chest. “You’re safe. No one’s gonna hurt you, not ever again. I won’t let them, you hear me? I’ve got you.”
He focused on Adar’s deep baritone, his musky scent, his strong arms holding him. He was okay. He was safe.
By the time he could breathe normally again, he had no idea how long had passed. All he knew was that he was exhausted. He blinked heavily.
“You had a panic attack,” Delton said softly. “And I’m so sorry for triggering it.”
Tired as he was, Oliver did know the truth. “Not your fault.”
Oh, thank the gods. His voice was still working.
“I shouldn’t have brought this up here. That’s on me.”
Oliver shook his head. “No. You couldn’t have known. I’ve never had something like this.”
Delton frowned. “That was your first panic attack?”
“Yeah. It’s because…” He swallowed. “It’s because I feel again. Before, I was numb.”
Delton’s eyes lit up in understanding. “That makes sense. When you close yourself off from everything, nothing can get through to you enough to trigger a reaction like this. But when you open yourself, you have to deal with strong, maybe even overwhelming emotions.”
“That’s why I’m afraid to talk.”
“Self-preservation. It’s a valid strategy of your brain to protect yourself.”
Oliver blew out another long breath. “But it won’t help in the long term, will it?”
“I’m afraid not. If you don’t learn to handle these big emotions, you’ll end up with many episodes like this…and that’s not what I want for you, Oliver. You deserve more. Better.”
Oliver bit his lip. “But won’t talking about it make it worse? Just thinking about the Murphys…”
His throat tightened again. Adar held him a little closer, pressing a kiss on the top of his head. Maybe he’d sensed Oliver tensing? The man was so attentive. Then again, so was Delton.
Delton took his hands in a gentle, almost loving way. “I promise you won’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. Our focus would be on showing you coping techniques that will help you process and heal. I don’t need to know details to teach you those. In fact, most of the time, stirring up the trauma itself is counterproductive.”
Oh. Hadn’t Delton mentioned that before? Oliver remembered something about that, but apparently, it hadn’t truly sunk in. “You really think you can help me?”
“I do. Please, Oliver, give it a shot. Let me help you heal.”
If he worded it like that, how could Oliver refuse? “Okay.”
An idea popped into his head. If he was doing this and signing up for some lemons, he might as well add some sugar to it and make lemonade, no? “Would it be okay if Adar comes with me for those sessions?”
Delton widened his eyes, but then he caught himself. “Of course. If Adar wants to.”
Adar immediately agreed. “I’ll do whatever I can to help you, angel.”
