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"Definitely," I respond, though my mind races ahead to the logistics of ensuring her comfort and care even amidst the family chaos.
I settle her back onto the backrest with a gentle stroke of her hair, much like she did for me as a child; the roles reversed, yet the love remain unchanged. “It is time for your meds, Mama. You up for it?”
“I don’t know if I will be able to keep them down—the nausea . . .”
“Let me get you the Ondansetron first then. See if that helps.”
“Thank you, baby.”
As I sit by her side, my thoughts drift unbidden to Liam—the man who's bankrolling our stay in this expansive Zurich home; the man who suggested the clinic that's given us something tobe thankful for this Thanksgiving . . . something we certainly wouldn’t have had—for mom, was a definite goner when we got here, the man who killed my father.
The thought slams into me with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, but then there's the counterweight: he’s saving my mother. The two truths war within me, an internal tug of war that leaves my soul bruised . . . Liam, the angel and the devil, all rolled in one.
I could hate him for what he's done, for taking away the anchor that held our home steady. I could despise him for shattering my sense of security. I could loathe him for the irreparable damage caused, but what would that do?
Vengeance is a hungry beast, one that is never satisfied. I could hate him till the cows come home, but there would always be room for more. Dad's gone. Nothing will change that harsh reality. Mom’s here. We persevere for the living.
“Mama, let’s try the meds now, shall we?”
My phone vibrates in my pocket, pulling me from my prayers. "Jenny?" I answer, my voice hushed, for I do not want to wake up Mom. “Hold on.” I whisper.
Getting into the living room and closing the library door softly behind me, I get back to Jenny.
“Hi, Sis, you on your way? I can’t take care of Mom and do the preparations for Thanksgiving on my own.”
"Hey, Tony. Yup. Just calling to give you a heads-up," Jenny's voice comes through, tinged with the familiar warmth and exhaustion of her job.
"Did you manage to get time off until New Year's?" I ask, knowing how much it would mean to Mom.
There's a pause on the line before she replies, "Tried. Boss wouldn't budge. I'm sorry, Tony. I'll make Thanksgiving, but that's all I can promise."
“Well, it was a long shot. I hope Lola can stay longer.”
“I can imagine how badly you needed this, T. It must be exhausting taking care of Mom all by yourself.”
“It can be draining, especially since the room she is in is so tiny it can’t fit two beds, so I sleep on a recliner. I have sore muscles where I have no muscles at all.”
Jenny lets out a tired laugh. This is not easy on any of us. Even though Liam offered to foot all the bills, Dick and Jenny decided that they, too, were going to play a role in bearing the expenses of our mother’s treatment. The thought of accepting anything from Liam just galls them, so Dick and Jenny have both taken to doing extra hours to make overtime to handle some of the bills. They are firm holdouts. Hell will freeze over before they shake Liam’s hand in any scenario.
“How I wish we would all be here with Mom. These three mandatory months, she has to be here, and then we all go home together. Couldn’t you quit your job? I quit school. . .”
“And what do I do about my mortgage, Tony. I have commitments I can’t get out of.”
"Understood," I say, a tinge of disappointment coloring the word. Schedules and illness have little regard for each other, after all.
"Bye, Tony. I will see you soon. Love you," she adds—sounding miffed— before hanging up.
“Love you too, Jay.” I whisper to nothingness, for there’s no one there.
Time to go to bed. It’s going to be a crazy few days with Thanksgiving celebrations in a foreign country and Mom not feeling too hot.
Just as I stretch out on the recliner, my phone buzzes as I have it on silent. It is Dick.
I walk back out of the room and answer before he hangs up.
"Hey, Dick, you all set?" My voice holds the exhaustion I feel. It is 11:49 PM.
"Yup. All packed up, ready to go," Dick says, his words crackling with static over the line.
