AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Shh, just hold me," I interrupt, not ready for any more truths, not yet.
We sit there, holding each other tightly, as the fire pops and hisses, throwing golden light across the room that's filled with the softness of well-worn leather couches and the gentle scent of aged wood. Intimacy is a living thing, growing with every shared breath, every mingled heartbeat.
"Tony," Liam whispers after a silence that speaks volumes, "You must be tired. We have all day tomorrow, right? Shall we go to bed and pick up tomorrow where we’ve left off?"
“You—”
“Oh God. That probably needed a bit more clarification. I meant we both go to bed at the same time, to our individual rooms. I already set up the ash room for you.”
There's a beat where everything stills—the flames, the clock, my own thoughts, and then I look up at him, really look, and see the raw honesty in his gaze. A small smile, fragile as the flame of a candle, flickers across my lips, and I allow my hand to linger on his a moment longer than necessary.
"I’ve been alone for far too long. I don’t want to be alone tonight. I’ll sleep on the floor by your bed tonight if that would be more comforting, but I don’t want to be alone tonight. I’d like to be close to you," I confess, and it's like releasing a breath I've been holding for years.
As soon as I utter my last word, we find ourselves inching closer, drawn by a gravity that's always been there, lurking beneath the surface of our shared experiences and tragedies.
My fingers trace the outline of his jaw, a tentative exploration of a landscape both familiar from my past and new.
"Tony?" He asks a world of questions in that one word.
"It’s okay, Liam . . . Kiss me," I whisper, giving voice to the need that's burning brighter than the fire in the hearth, and he does.
Our lips meet, for the very first time, in a kiss that's both a balm for old wounds and the spark for something terrifyingly beautiful and sedating—a promise, a rebellion, an act of trust.
Through this man’s dazzling blue eyes, I have known joy during my childhood; sorrow and pain during my teens, and now, love and connection in this very moment. I pour everything I am into it, meeting his passion with my own, surrendering to the intimacy of our shared existence. If tomorrow never comes, I want to die feeling that I have lived.
Chapter forty
REDISCOVERING LIAM PT 1.
TONY
It’s been two weeks since I came to Zurich to find answers to questions that have dogged me for half my life, and I am still here, having found a needle that has been hiding in a haystack right in front of my eyes for all these years.
All my life, I have had trouble settling in any relationship. Now I know why.
I always knew what I wanted, and I was not ready to settle for less. I have finally found what I have been looking for. Funny . . . he was always there the whole time —well, not the whole whole time, but well . . .
If I could paint him in colors, Liam has hit all the colors on my color wheel, and I don’t even know the half of him. I wonder what Mom and Dad are thinking up there in Heaven. Are they disappointed? Are they flabbergasted? What about my siblings . . . what will they say when they find out?
This is a nightmare. The one piece of information that would release them to give us their blessings is the one thing I cannot tell them. To have Liam, I must sacrifice my family. What a steep price to pay.
“Oh . . . what’s that smell?” I ask, stretching out like a Cheshire cat basking in pure bliss.
“Oh, oh. That doesn’t sound so appetizing,” Liam says, a wooden bed tray in hand and a kitchen towel slung over his shoulder.
“Hey, beautiful,” he says, leaning over me in bed after propping the tray on top of the dresser drawer, his hair slightly disheveled but still a golden brown, his eyes sparkling with affection.
“Hey, baby. Why are you up so early?”
"Because it is morning, and I want to spend time with you, not sleeping. I will sleep when you leave me to go back to college." Liam murmurs, then follows it with a dizzying kiss on my lips. “I love it when you are awake. I love hearing you talk . . . hearing you breathe. . . even hearing you snore—.”
“Get lost.” I giggle like a teenager high on hormones. “I don’t snore . . .” I say, and he swallows my words, getting lost in yet another deep kiss.
"But you do," Liam laughs against my lips, his hands traveling up my sides, thumbs brushing the undersides of my breasts. "And I love it. I love every sound you make, every breath you take. It's like music to my ears, a symphony that only I get to hear.
“Oh, Liam.”
“Teach me how to love you better, baby. I want to do more . . . give you more . . . make your world spin as you spin mine.”
