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Chapter Twenty
“You sleptwith me just to get a story for the paper?” Jonas barked at her in anger.
Buzz flinched at the words. She knew they weren’t true, but no matter how she looked at it, they sounded true. How could she tell him that the moment he walked into that hotel room, she’d decided that she couldn’t write about him anymore? That she couldn’t do that to him? He wouldn’t believe her.
“No,” she tried and stopped. He wasn’t listening; he was too angry at her.
Louisa took a step away from her; her expression conveying that she believed what Jonas was saying. But Buzz couldn’t tell him she was there to see Judith, that she had to know if the woman was her mother or not. She didn’t want Louisa to find out the truth like this. Just a few days before, Buzz had been shocked at learning she had another sister, but Louisa was going to find out about five.
“I hope you don’t think you can publish the story. I will sue your paper so fast that you won’t even remember your name if that happens,” Jonas threatened.
“I wouldn’t. You know me; I wouldn’t do something like that,” she argued. He had to realize he knew her better than Meghan Murphy did.
“I don’t know anything about you, Miss Bradford. I never have.” He walked past her and then up the stairs, leaving her and Louisa alone in the entryway.
“Are you really a reporter?” Louisa asked.
“I was. Not a good one, but I was,” she admitted after hearing Jonas slam a door on the floor above them.
“I think you should leave my family alone then.” Louisa took another step away from her.
She and Louisa had rushed to the front of the house when they’d heard the commotion, but the look in the younger woman’s eyes said that they were not friends anymore.
Without a word, she turned and walked down the hallway, away from her younger sister, who would never know she had a family out there that would love to have her in it. But she wouldn’t leave this family for the Lovelys; Buzz knew that. No matter how dysfunctional this one was, it was still her family.
As she walked through the kitchen, she left everything she had there, which was a few T-shirts, in case she spilled, and a few pans of leftovers in the fridge. There was nothing worth stopping for.
How had everything gotten so messed up in less than an hour? Judith had all but admitted she was her mother and that she didn’t want anything to do with Buzz or any of her sisters, except Louisa. By admitting she knew how old Buzz was, she was also admitting she knew who Buzz was, but she wasn’t willing to tell anyone else, which meant that nobody else knew about her or any of her sisters.
And now Jonas hated her and would forever hate her, thinking that she betrayed him. All because she had to see if Judith was her mother, which had been a mistake because today, just like last month, her mother didn’t want anything to do with her. It still hurt that she kind of wanted her mom to care a little for her.
In two days, Sera would be back, and Buzz knew she loved her and cared about what happened to her. And most days, it was all she needed, but today, she had wanted Judith to say something. Anything.
The drive home was a blur, as was unloading the cooler back into the freezer. No need to thaw the meals she didn’t need anymore. She knew she would quit one day, but she’d wanted to do it on the day she had chosen.
Up in Harper’s room, she stared out the window at the tree in the neighbor’s back yard. It was the same view she always saw from Harper’s bed. Today she got lost in just staring at it. Hours later, she was still staring at the tree as darkness settled out her window. Her phone had buzzed with a few texts and messages until she knew it died; she’d forgotten to charge it. Not that it mattered; nobody was calling or texting her anymore.
When her bladder threatened to burst, she got up and checked on Agatha. From the stairway, she saw her lying in her own bed in the early evening, a time when her sister was usually getting up. Buzz knew she had made noise on the way up, but her sister didn’t move.
Buzz slowly walked up the steps in hopes that her sister would want to talk. Agatha was always the one with all the answers. Though she had no life of her own, she was pretty good at straightening out everyone else’s attempts at it.
When her sister still didn’t move, Buzz kicked off her shoes and let Harper’s chef’s jacket fall to the floor as she walked to the bed. Her sister didn’t make a sound as she went.
Crawling into bed with her, she wrapped her arms around Agatha. It had been years since Buzz had needed comfort from her sister, but tonight, she felt they both could use it. No matter what Agatha had been up to, she hadn’t had sex in a pantry with their stepbrother. She hadn’t lied about being a chef to find out information on their mother, only to have Jonas think it was about him. That was all Buzz.
“I messed up this week. So badly,” Buzz admitted in the dark, her voice thick with the tears she had been fighting for hours now.
“Me too.” Agatha’s voice was just as thick as she let Buzz hold her, and they let their mistakes be forgiven.
They didn’t say anything else, just held on to each other all night, neither admitting that they or their sister was crying in the darkness. But Buzz was happy she wasn’t alone when she had done so many bad things in her life, or just in the last few days.
