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Chapter Thirty-Two
“Because of the baby,”she stated the obvious as she ignored his touch. If there weren’t a baby, he wouldn’t be there.
But the fact that he would say the words, even without meaning them, meant that he was going to love their baby just as much as she already did. It should’ve made her happy, but it didn’t.
She tried to shake his hand loose from her leg, not needing his touch and all the confusion it brought. Her heart sank when he let go.
“Buzz,” he said with a smile, shifting on the bed to get closer to her, taking her hand in his. “It’s because I love you, baby or not. From the moment I met you, you turned my life upside down and sideways, and I couldn’t right myself again. After a while, I didn’t want to. My life had been boring before, predictable. I needed you to throw some wildness in for me. I need you in my life.”
Sitting up, she looked into his eyes, trying to see if he was lying. Instead of looking into his brown eyes, she just saw the faint purple ring around the left one. “Do you have a black eye?”
Blinking, he touched it and laughed. “Yeah, Louisa popped me for lying to you. She’s been taking a boxing class. She’s getting pretty good.”
“Louisa? Louisa May Alcott Raiden?” Buzz couldn’t imagine the girl actually doing it, and the only image that came into her mind made her laugh out loud.
She stopped laughing as he nodded and touched her cheek. A delicate touch, as if he were amazed he could touch her. “Did you know she was named after a children’s book author?”
“Of course. We all are,” she said hoarsely.
Out in the hallway, voices started yelling about the key being found. The key must have been missing from the secret hook Sera had for them. Lucy had found it years before, and after that, no room was lockable in the house for long.
“We all, as in all your sisters?” He smiled, not turning away from her as the lock turned and the door opened fast, only to slam into the back of the dresser, followed instantly by another loud curse from the hallway.
Ignoring the commotion, she said, “Yes, all of us. Beatrix Potter, and … never mind, I forgot you don’t do literature.”
When she had been serving one evening for the family, he had told Judith that, something that the woman had dismissed. Buzz had been trying to find clues at the time, and that was a big one.
“I like literature; I just don’t talk about it with Judith. Your middle name is really just Potter?” he asked.
Beyond them, a sister issued a series of threats to both of them through the door, with one arm suddenly visible. Harper’s voice hissed, “Beatrix Potter Lovely, move that damn dresser so we can beat the crap out of your man.”
Rolling her eyes at her sister, Buzz turned to the door and yelled, “Leave us alone, Harper! We are talking. I’ll send him out when you’ve settled down.” The movement dislodged his hand, which drifted down to her shoulder.
“Just let me in, me alone. I promise to do nothing to him.” Harper’s arm was still waving in the air, but her voice was suddenly sugary-sweet as she spoke, as if her past remarks would be forgotten that easily.
“Just leave, all of you.” Buzz got off the bed with a huff, tired of her sisters. She slapped at the arm until it left the room, and she shut the door again. This time nobody tried to open it, though she could hear them still talking out in the hallway, planning. Turning to Jonas, she stated, “You, of course, may leave also.”
“Except I’ll never walk away from you and our baby again.” He jumped up and took her hand, leading her back to her bed. Sitting down, he pulled her between his legs, resting his hands on her hips to keep her there. He held her captive, but she could’ve easily gotten away from him. She didn’t, though. She couldn’t.
It was the same position she had been in when he’d first gotten a good look at her. That night, she had messed up not only the story she needed but her life as well. Now months later, her life was completely different, and she was never going to be the same Buzz again. That Buzz wasn’t madly in love with this man.
“Jonas,” she whispered. She had no idea what else to say. She wanted to stay in that spot forever, and she wanted to run away as fast as she could. It was the exact same as she had felt that night, but for all different reasons.
Taking her hands in his, she looked into his eyes as he spoke, “Buzz-Buzz Lovely, can we turn this thing around? We did everything backward. Let’s start with me saying I love you and end with you coming out of my closet. Start with us having a baby Buzz, our own baby.” He leaned forward and kissed her belly over the pink T-shirt, causing her heart to skip a beat.
She giggled at his words but didn’t dare reply. He pulled her closer to him as he slid his hands under her shirt. His fingers skimming over her skin caused her to suck in a breath. “Your shirt says your name on it. And I seem to remember seeing another just like it in white.”
She looked down at it and bit her lip. She had way too many of the shirts, but nobody ever took them. “I sleep in them.”
“Not when I sleep with you.” His hands slid around to her butt and squeezed it.
Ignoring the need to touch him like he was touching her, she shook her head. “Just other times.”
“I like them, but I like you even better without them.” He pulled her onto his lap, and she went willingly, too willingly.
She snuggled into him and wrapped her arms around him. Buzz breathed in his familiar scent as she reveled being in his arms again, knowing that she was only letting herself believe him because she wanted to so much.
Feeling him kiss her hair, he promised, “I am going to spend the rest of my life loving you and hoping that you can one day love me.”
