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“What about when I was eighteen and started dating that guy, Hank Lawrence?” Maby picked an invisible piece of lint from the shirt.
Touching her sister’s leg, she reminded her, “I told you to never date a guy named Hank.”
Maby let out a little laugh. “No, you told me you didn’t like him. And when you caught him hitting me, you attacked him with a tire iron. I never saw him again.”
“Nobody hurts my sister.” She squeezed her leg, wondering if Maby ever still thought about him, and hoped not.
Maby clasped Lucy’s hand in hers, then turned and pulled her legs under her so that she was facing Lucy. “How about when we were fifteen and I took Sera’s Jeep for a joyride and didn’t take you with. You were pissed at me, but you still took the heat, and Sera grounded you for the entire summer.”
Lucy smiled at that one. It was one of the many times they’d switched places so that Maby didn’t get in trouble. “It only lasted a week, and she forgot. Forgave. Quit caring.”
“No, she ungrounded you because you jumped in front of that dog that was going to attack baby Emma and got bitten in the process. You had to have stitches in your leg. You sacrificed yourself to save a two-year-old because that is who you are.” Maby touched her leg, right where the small scar was. It was so small, even Lucy barely saw it, and Maby wouldn’t be able to. But she remembered where it was.
“Anyone would have done that. She was a baby.” Everyone in the family put Emma in front of themselves for years. It’s what big sisters did.
“Lucy, you were the one who slept with me every night for months after Mom left, and Harper said we were too old to cry. You were there for me as long as I needed you. You let me cry.” As she said it, she laid down next to Lucy, causing Lucy herself to slip further into the covers and snuggle up to her twin, just like when they were little. She remembered running to her own bed before Harper came to wake them. She would crawl into her own cold bed and lay there, watching Maby sleep from across the room, knowing even then that she would do anything to make her twin’s life a little better.
“You were seven.” Lucy wiped the tear from her sister’s eye.
“So were you, Lucy.” Maby pushed a loose hair from Lucy’s eyes.
Wiping a tear from her own eye, she whispered, “None of that makes up for the fact that I’m stupid, Maby. Always have been, always will be.”
“You are not stupid, Lucy.” Maby pressed her fingers against Lucy’s mouth.
Taking her fingers away, Lucy held her sister’s hand between them. “Let’s look at the evidence. You are going to be a doctor one day, and I flunked out of high school.”
“How about this evidence? You are outgoing, caring, and wear all your emotions on your sleeve. I, on the other hand, am cold, aloof, and almost let the man I love walk away because I was afraid he would get tired of me.” Maby pulled their hands to her mouth and kissed Lucy’s fingers.
“That is not how I see you, Maby.” Another tear escaped her eyes, pain for her sister. “Nobody sees you that way.”
Squeezing their still-joined hands, Mabel went on, “It’s how I see me, Lucy. Because I compare myself to you, just not in the same ways you do to me. It’s easy to be considered smart, but a lot harder to let people into my life who might hurt me. So, I don’t let them in. Lucy Maud, I don’t see you as stupid, and nobody else does either. We all see what you have went through to be who you are. And all without our help, even if we would help if only you would ask.”
“I don’t like to depend on others,” Lucy admitted.
“But we are not others; we are your sisters. We don’t ever care if you fail or succeed because we will be there either way. Every day and for every moment, whether you want us there or not. Just like now. We are here every day, all day long. Just because we don’t get to see you doesn’t mean we are not here,” Maby replied.
Lucy’s eyes widened a bit. “Every day?”
“And all night, Lucy. Because we’re worried about you. We’re worried about our babies, and there isn’t anywhere we would rather be.” Maby dropped her hand and touched the babies that were sandwiched between them.
“They are not safe being near me,” Lucy whispered and covered her sister’s hands with hers.
“When I think about your babies, I can’t even picture you as a danger to them, Lucy. All I think about is you dressing them alike in tiny shirts that have some quirky saying on them. I see them snuggled up against you as you watch cartoon after cartoon all day long. I see you telling them no, but letting them get away with everything. I see them with you, Lucy, not some stranger. Because nobody can love them like Lucy can.” Maby rubbed her hand over the babies the entire time she talked.
“I can’t, Maby.”
“Just promise me you’ll wait, that you won’t make that decision until you see them. Until you hold them. Until the moment you know you can let them go. Because if I know anything about you, it’s that your head and heart are not on the same page with this.”
“I don’t have a heart anymore,” Lucy whispered.
“Your heart is still there, Lucy. Still as big as it has ever been. Leo will come to his senses soon.” Maby pulled her hands up and held them between their two hearts.
“It was all fake, Maby. He needed a wife to keep his kids in town, and I needed security for the boys. Everything was fake,” she admitted, because Maby already knew. There were no secrets, even untold ones.
“Not everything, Lucy Maud, because a heart doesn’t break over something that isn’t real.”
Lucy closed her eyes. “I accidentally fell for him.”
